How to know when it's time to go on a diet...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

How to know when it’s time to go on a diet:

Me: Hello, sub place? This is me. I’d like a gyro and a diet coke. Oh, and an order of fat free yogurt.

Sub guy: Your address?

Me: 123 Breck.

Sub guy: Okay…123 Brock.

Me: No…123 Breck…B-R-E-C-K, right by the YMCA.

Sub guy: Okay, 123 Brick.

Me: No…(shouting) B as in Boy, R as in Robot, E as in Elephant…C as in Cat…up the hill from the Y…just past the liquor store.

Sub guy: Okay, 30-40 minutes. Bye!

One hour later…the phone rings. I answer it.

Driver: Hi, I’m at your house!

Me: No, you’re not!

Driver: Yes, I am here…123 Brock.

Me: I’m on BRECK. BRECK. B as in Bonehead, R as in ARE you an idiot, E as in Even an imbecile can spell Breck…

Driver: Oh. Okay…I was told Brock, I’ll be right over to Brick Street.

Me: Okay. No, not Brick. Not Brock. Not Brack. BRECK. I’m near the YMCA…up the hill from the liquor store…

Driver: So sorry. Be right there.

*Twenty minutes later, the phone rings again. I answer it again. *

Me: Laura’s House of Hunger, how can we help you?

Driver: Okay, I’m at your door on Brackett Street. Can you come down.

Me: Yeah, I’ll be right there. Just sit and wait.

2

How long have you lived in a Monty Python skit?

3

That’s what I thought! And guess how far away I am from the stupid sub shop?

Yeah…less than 8 blocks! Hilarious!

4

You actually have Breck Street, Brock Street, Brick Street (not to mention Brackett Street) all within easy distance of each other?

I think that the Boston city planners need to put their thinking caps on the next time they start naming streets.

Hint #1: There are 25 other perfectly good letters to start street names with.

5

I get that frequently too. See, my address says that I live on a different street than I actually do. The street it says I live on are railroad tracks for much of it, but the City of Davis didn’t want to waste those numbers, oh no. They gave them to my apartment complex, so even though I live off, let’s pretend its 23rd, my address says 25th. Whenever I get anything delivered, I always get a call with the deliveryperson saying “I can’t find your house”. I told the dude working the phones that my address is this, but I live off that, why didn’t he think to tell you?

6

Could be worse - you could live on “Peachtree” in Atlanta.

7

The OP cracked me up already, but this follow-up had me howling.

My problem with takeout is my street is exactly two blocks long. There’s like 12 hourses/apartment buildings on it, then it ends.

So it’s always “Mangam Street.”
“What?”
“Mangam Street. M-A-N-G-A-M.”
“Magnum?”
“Mangam!”
“Where’s that?”
Then I am sitting here giving the delivery guy directions to my house!

We have started picking up orders fairly regularly.

8

Or one of the -teen Mile Roads…

9

I delivered pizza for two years at the busiest location for our (major, national) chain in the nation. Phones never stopped ringing–we would clear $25,000 of business on a football game day, easily. So what you have is four or five people whose sole job it is is to answer the phone. Deliveries aren’t assigned to drivers until about 15-20 minutes later.

I’ve corroborated this with a competing, less busy store, and generally, the person taking your order on the phone just wants you to give your address and your order, and they’ll let the driver figure out the rest. Big stores don’t generally communicate as well as you would think.

Places like yours made me happy, though. I could always find them with no trouble and always got a bigger tip because of it.

10

The problem is, there WERE no “Boston City Planners.” The blinkin’ pilgrims let their cattle wander down the street to the market place and BAM…it’s Market Street. And I’m warning you, it has ROTARIES.

Boston City Planners…ha ha…that’s a good one. I can’t wait to tell that joke at work.

I HATE pilgrims. What the heck were they THINKING!?

11

So, did you ever get a sub?

12

I totally agree., And it doesn’t seem as though they are trying to improve it any! Same thing…now they just let the herds of people-cattle decide.

13

I blench at the thought of having to drive in Boston again, ever. I consider us lucky that we got out alive the first time.

Now, Chicago has nice straight streets, with perpendicular intersections, very grid-like, very easy to remember where you are. The lake is east, the rest is easy… Except that we like to call one street by several names (159th is also Rte 6 and it’s also 162nd, for just one example…).

14

I don’t know about it being time to go on a diet, Ceiling Whacks but it might be time to move house. :slight_smile:

15

The problem is those eediots in Evanston, who took all our street names and put them in different places and even going different directions. So giving someone directions to “this place on Foster, between Ashland and Jackson” makes Chicagoans ears’ bleed and they get lost, every single time, somewhere in Edgewater. :smack:

16

My college roomie was from Evanston, I seem to remember him showing me the intersection of 8th and 8th. It might have been “Avenue” and “Street” but that scarcely helps.

Probably figured they’d be able to take advantage of Domino’s old “30 minutes or it’s free” offer.

17

Yeah, I went out and got one. It was good and I didn’t get lost finding my way there and back.

It’s definitely time to move, likely back to Chicago where I belong. And where a “city block” actually exists.

18

Mom lives on Capuchinos Street. In the same town there is a Capuchinos Alley (perpendicular to the street) and an Upper Capuchinos Street (which happens to be the upper part of Capuchinos Street, but it’s across a busy road and not exactly aligned with the lower part).

The province’s capital has a Capuchinos Street, which for some reason is the large street in the center of Capuchinos Borough.

Add some people who insist in writing Capuccino (some are very surprised to know that the religious order existed before the coffee was named after the color of their habits) or Caputxinos.

We’ve received letters that, in spite of having the right ZIP, had traveled to the provincial capital; once, one went to the capital and then to the local coffee factory. It was given to us in hand by the lady who worked at the coffee factory’s outlet downtown (100m from Mom’s place).

19

Not exactly street address related, per-se, but stuff mailed to me from the US often used to (and given the fact I recently got a package 3 months after it was sent, probably still does) go through Omaha, Nebraska. Why? Because (Israeli) Postal Codes are, like American “Zip”-s, a 5-digit number. And mine happens to be in the same general range as the Zip-codes in a part of Nebraska (not Omaha itself – I guess most of the mistakes got caught at the main Post Office in Omaha before distribution down to the “sticks”)

So – apparently some sorting machines just “look” (OCR) at the Zip… and route accordingly. Never mind the envelope says ISRAEL on it (in big, friendly letters!) :smack:

20

Oh yes, those impish city planners of Boston made sure their influence extended to the towns next door as well: we used to live on Prospect Street, in Somerville.

Problem is, Prospect Street (the same street, in a nice uninterrupted line) went through the towns of Somerville and Cambridge … but the street numbering restarted across the town line, so there was actually another home, only a few blocks away from us, with the EXACT SAME STREET ADDRESS as ours - except it was in Cambridge, not Somerville.

But I have a sadder story. I know a family that lives on Two Stacks Road in Bow, NH. (Now THAT is life in a Monty Python skit.) So their address is something like “4 Two Stacks Road,” which everyone tries to interpret as “42 Stacks Road.”

My friend has been lobbying to get the street renamed as Woodstock Road. Not sure there are enough former hippies around to help him succeed. :smiley: