If you're going to ask for directions, give complete information

I was walking home last night and noticed a car pulled over. When I passed it, the driver got my attention and asked for directions.

Him: “Do you know where fifteen Fake Street is?”

Me: “Well, you’re on Fake Street right now. Fifteen? Are you sure?”

Him: “Yes, fifteen Fake Street.”

Me: “That’s going to be pretty far. Several miles.”

Him: “But it’s supposed to be right around here somewhere.”

Me: “Are you looking for a specific place?”

Him: “Yes, Our Lady of Perpetual Quacks Hospital.”

Me: “OK, that’s not on Fake Street, but if you keep going straight…”

Him: “Not the main hospital, it’s a doctor’s office.”

Me: “Then I don’t know. Fifteen? Really? This is the 2000 block.”

Him: “It says right here! Fifteen oh-five Fake street!”

Me: “Oh, fifteen oh-five? Two blocks that way. It’ll be on the left.”

Him: “OK, but will it be on the right or the left?”

WTF dude?!?

That’s what happens when you have dealings on Fake Street.

Yeah, I know. It’s all like some bad Simpsons episode.

Gawd, you just know they’d have been devoured by a saber-toothed tiger or something back in the old days for being that clueless…

Well, he WAS looking for a hospital!

Maybe he had head trauma?

Actually, he told me he was getting blood work.

THIS is the real reason men don’t want to ask for directions. There is a good chance at least one of the two participants doesnt have a freaking clue about the finer details of “directions”. It usually makes craps look like a sure bet.

I dunno, I wouldn’t trust lab results from any place on Fake Street.

That was just a made-up name. The actual name is Real Street.

Lord, you’ve reminded me of an episode years ago when I got lost in a rural area. I’d turned off Interstate 95 for reasons lost to memory now, and had trouble finding my way back. I saw some country people on their porch, and stopped to ask them.

Me: “Excuse me, How do you get back to the interstate from here?”

Them: “What?”

Me: “The highway, I-95. Can you just point me which way?”

Them: look slowly at each other, shrug at me

Me: “Okay, the main road, which way is it?”

Them: “What?”

Me: “Okay. When you leave THIS place…”

Them: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “and go ANYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH, which way do you start out?”

Them: point correctly to I-95

That’s hilarious.

Calgary is divided into quadrants - NE, NW, SE, and SW. I’m in the north; our dividing line is (logically enough) Centre Street, which my neighbourhoood straddles. I had some people ask me for directions a few months ago, looking for an address in the NE quadrant of my neighbourhood - they were in the NW quadrant. One thing you learn about Calgary in a big damned hurry is to look for addresses starting with the right quadrant.

My husband delivers mail on a route that includes a large, major street; let’s call it Garden Park Road. Frequently, he will run into confused, frantic, and sometimes angry people who are trying to find the courthouse. This courthouse is about 15 miles from where they are currently, which should be obvious from the MapQuest printouts that each person is inevitably holding. The cross-streets don’t match, the town isn’t the same, and worst yet, the courthouse isn’t even on Garden Park Road. It’s on Garden Lane Road. These guys are coming up the interstate and see an exit for “Garden (something)” and exit, expecting to find the courthouse immediately.

It’s even worse when they try to argue the point. Excuse me, you’re the one who’s lost and may soon be late for a court appearance, right?

Must be hell for them if they have to find a location on one of the infamously long streets that run from Chicago through all the suburbs without changing its name, like Ogden Avenue.

Oh, and I just had someone lost in my building at work today. She was asking for a room number that didn’t exist, so I was trying to figure out which building she really needed to be in, or maybe if she was just mistaken about the room’s number. It took a good bit of prompting for her to finally tell me what address she assumed she was at (the assumption was wrong), as she didn’t know what building name she should be looking for, and to finally hand over the ‘campus’ map she had in her hands so I could point out the direction she needed to go.

Missed the edit window: Gotta love what stress does to one’s brain when lost, I guess. I prefer a little “figure this out” time to get my thoughts composed before asking questions - and I show people what info I have first. No sense in turning it into a game of 20 Questions.

Well if Sailboat had just gotten to the point rather than beating around the bush he would gotten his answer much sooner :slight_smile:

One evening in the parking lot of a Boston Market in Cary, NC a gentlemen pulled up and asked how to get to Charlotte, which is approximately 150 miles away. I suppose I was lucky he wasn’t looking for a particular address there.

Sounds like he originally meant to ask you where 1500 fake street is. As in where’s the 1500 block of fake street. That way you’re not sitting there trying to give him exact directions when all he needs is a general point in the right direction.

We are the last property on a dead-end gravel road. We rarely have cars show up unless they are specifically coming to visit us.

Last summer someone drove up to our garage and stopped. They wanted to continue driving, because their GPS told them to. I explained that there was no way to continue without driving into a horse pasture, then woods. I asked where they were going. They wouldn’t tell me. They argued with me, choosing to believe their GPS over me. After a few minutes of this I walked away and went back to what I was doing. They sat their for 10 minutes before getting turned around and leaving.


I would have told them it was a five dollar “toll pasture”, opened the gate, and let em drive to their hearts content :slight_smile: