Not if you either are not sure if you like the topping or if you do not trust the restaurant to apply your preferred amount.
My wife’s an asker; I’m a teller with please on the end.
“Can I have…”, never!
“May I please have…”, always.
Sorry, I disagree. If I’m asking, it’s because there’s some doubt in my mind about whether I can get what I’m asking for, not because there’s any doubt about whether I may have it.
For example, “Can I get a Diet Mountain Dew?” I’m asking whether that’s one of the soft drinks they have available; I’m not asking for permission to have one.
ETA: And yes, smart aleck, I know that sets me up for the server to say “Yes you can” without actually bringing me one. That’s a chance I’m willing to take.
The former is indeed an ever present risk. In the latter scenario they might even simply reply ‘No, you will not’.
Sorry, I can’t agree with this. The alternative is often a game of “Confuse the cook” where nobody is happy. I could order my burger at Red Robin “No tomato, light lettuce, diced onions, extra BBQ sauce” and 99% of the time the kitchen would screw it up. If I just order the “Whiskey River Burger, everything but the cheese on the side” it saves endless confusion and angst between the line cooks and the customer.
To avoid any uncertainty or confusion, there is one correct way to order:
“Can I get a Diet Mountain Dew?”
“Why the fuck would you want THAT? I’m bringing you a cup of coffee.”
I have discovered that you can get a close approximation of a fully-dressed New Orleans po’ boy in a New York City deli if you say “Gimme a hero with Black Forest ham and Swiss*; lettuce tomato onion pickles; mustard, mayonnaise; salt and pepper.”
This is a prescription for disaster, but my local bagel joint has nailed the order the last half-dozen times. Sometimes you just gotta have a fully-dressed N’Awlins po’ boy, and you don’t have plane fare.
*substitute sliced roast beef and any other kind of cheese, if that’s the po’ boy you prefer
Srsly? :eek:
I have plenty of self-confidence, but I also have sympathy for service workers, and a strong desire not to appear to be imperiously ordering them to do my bidding, and make it snappy.
No anchovies, please
Heh. I patronize an Italian restaurant owned/operated by an older Italian woman who people either love or despise. She drops “F” bombs like a longshoreman. “Could you cut my spaghetti up?” “You want I should wipe your shitty ass too?” The woman asking walked out, with her husband apologizing, paying for their drinks, then following her out.
It’s like dinner theater. We watch the waitstaff’s attempts to mollify customers, it’s a blast.
^ kayaker, you’ve probably seen this, I’m just posting it here so the SDMB native Chicagoans will drop by to comment and this thread will go to 1700 pages. 
My ex bf used to say , ‘I will do the cheeseburger.’ That always sounded weird to me and slightly sexual.
Ever tell him “keep fucking that chicken!”?
“I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries. Thank you!” or “I’d like a cheeseburger and fries. Thank you!”
Mama taught me manners! 
When I can’t make up my mind, I always say, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Never seen that, but I’m actually a little surprised it’s still around. I could have sworn they closed down a few years ago. (Actually, it does look like they closed down, but their website says something about a new location coming soon.) But, yeah, that’s their schtick. Elsewhere, you can get that attitude for realz.
Dick’s Last Resort is another restaurant in that style. I’ve served one restaurant’s entire serving staff after a shift ended, and it was absolutely hilarious. Moonlighting in fine dining, I would get the wonderful experience of constantly gritting “Thank you Master, may I please have another?” through my teeth.
But yeah, people that go to restaurants famous for asshole servers and then complain about their treatment are a special kind of snowflake. It’s like asking for carnitas at an Italian joint. Don’t be that guest…