How to order food

[Novelty_Bobble]

@Thudlow_Boink

Sorry, I disagree. If I’m asking, it’s because there’s some doubt in my mind about whether I can get what I’m asking for, not because there’s any doubt about whether I may have it.

A restaurant is never obliged to to serve you. They very easily could say “no” so asking is always the way to go (and politely too…what sort of person doesn’t use please and thank you in these sort of interactions?)

[Pardel-Lux]

Go get me 300, no make it 500 hamberders and tell the press I paid for them out of my pocket with my own money and that there were 1.000 hamberders in total!

[TimfromNapa]

@kayaker

Heh. I patronize an Italian restaurant owned/operated by an older Italian woman who people either love or despise. She drops “F” bombs like a longshoreman. “Could you cut my spaghetti up?” “You want I should wipe your shitty ass too?” The woman asking walked out, with her husband apologizing, paying for their drinks, then following her out.

It’s like dinner theater. We watch the waitstaff’s attempts to mollify customers, it’s a blast.

Okay, someone needs to put that scene in a movie somewhere, sometime.

[TimfromNapa]

@jz78817

Gouda?

Its the besta!

[TimfromNapa]

@Jophiel

“I will gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

Stop being such a wimp.

[Ukulele_Ike]

@kayaker

Heh. I patronize an Italian restaurant owned/operated by an older Italian woman who people either love or despise. She drops “F” bombs like a longshoreman. “Could you cut my spaghetti up?” “You want I should wipe your shitty ass too?” The woman asking walked out, with her husband apologizing, paying for their drinks, then following her out.

It’s like dinner theater. We watch the waitstaff’s attempts to mollify customers, it’s a blast.

Oh, god…back in 1981, my friend Ed and my girlfriend and I were 20 and living in a sublet on the west side of midtown Manhattan…Ed and I were unemployed and smoking a lot of dope, and generating bizarre start-up ideas.

One of these was a restaurant to be called Abraxas of the Bronx.. “Abraxas” was the most abrasive word we could think of.

The restaurant would be located in the worst part of the South Bronx, and have valet parking who would needlessly ding your car; abusive waiters; sour wines; soiled china and silverware; bad food; and cockroaches.

We figured that with the right kind of publicity campaign, we could get the cream of hip young New Yorkers to flock to it and fight to get in.

[Saintly_Loser]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

Andy Kaufman used to say (in a Latka voice): I am so hungry, I could eat a horse–please pass the salt.

Ya know, horse isn’t so bad. We really have to get over some prejudices…

[Saintly_Loser]

@Ukulele_Ike

Oh, god…back in 1981, my friend Ed and my girlfriend and I were 20 and living in a sublet on the west side of midtown Manhattan…Ed and I were unemployed and smoking a lot of dope, and generating bizarre start-up ideas.

One of these was a restaurant to be called Abraxas of the Bronx.. “Abraxas” was the most abrasive word we could think of.

The restaurant would be located in the worst part of the South Bronx, and have valet parking who would needlessly ding your car; abusive waiters; sour wines; soiled china and silverware; bad food; and cockroaches.

We figured that with the right kind of publicity campaign, we could get the cream of hip young New Yorkers to flock to it and fight to get in.

I would have gone…

Back in '81, my girlfriend and I and a couple of friends were living in a sublet in the East Village (well, OK, it was a squat). Your proposed place would have been right up our alley. An improvement over eating at home (since we had no silverware, you couldn’t possibly have had more cockroaches than we did, and, as bad as your food might have been, it would have been better than ours). Except we didn’t have a car…

[MarvinKitFox]

@mixdenny

“I will have a cheeseburger and fries”. Period.

Dennis

Cheeseburger and fries, sure. But Period’s off. Wrong time of the month for that.

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

^ Well, could I have a Spam instead of…

NM

[Carryon]

Can means “able,” may is “asking permission.”

So you could use both, “Can I have…” or “May I have…” depending on the situation.

[pulykamell]

@Carryon

Can means “able,” may is “asking permission.”

So you could use both, “Can I have…” or “May I have…” depending on the situation.

“Can” is fine as a word meaning to seek permission. See Merriam-Webster’s note.

It didn’t take too long for teachers and grammarians of the day to proscribe that can should only be used of ability and may of permission. We find the rule spelled out clearly (complete with a fictional student-teacher exchange) in Charles Lurie’s 1926 How To Say It: Helpful Hints On English. There is no particular reason for the rule, except for the fact that may has been used longer to mean “to give permission” than can has. Nonetheless, the “rule” lives on.

In reality, can likely has more use in the “permission” sense than is recorded, as it is more informal and so shows up in speech more frequently than may does. May is the more formal word, and if you are at all concerned about being tut-tutted, a safe choice. Can is now the verb of choice for ability, and both can and may are still used in the “possibility” sense. You may use can if you wish, and you can use may if it makes you feel better.

For me, the only difference is that “may” sounds a bit more genteel, possibly because of this “rule” being handed down by school teachers over time but, otherwise, perfectly fine. I would only use the word “may” in asking for something if I’m self-consciously choosing to speak in a more refined register (IOW, around people who might 'tut-tut" the usage.) Otherwise, it’s “can” 95% of the time.

[Wheelz]

Does anybody else here “go with” stuff?

I often phrase my orders as “I’ll go with a cheeseburger and fries.” Now that I’ve typed it out, it sounds as if I’m announcing that I’ve reached the end of a very thoughtful and complex deliberation process, and the server must be on the veritable edge of his or her proverbial seat in anticipation of my decision.

Maybe I’m just a self-important jerk.

[Ashtura]

Damn, I’m feeling straight up gangster right now. I say “I’ll take the” quite often.