After all, we all know that the war and subsuquent rebuilding isn’t going to pay for itself. Slogans aside, oil ain’t gonna cover all of it either. So, that’s why, this being America and all, we are going to sell naming rights to corporations.
Everything is for sale. Towns, cities, rivers, roads, power plants, oil wells, presidental palaces, are just the start.
Just imagine the possibilites. The Nike Euphrates. The Microsoft Tigris. Verizon Baghdad.
Of course, there’s also the biggest one of all. The name of the country itself. How about:
Or we could just pull a Howard Stern and have female Officers from all of the respective armies munching rug on PPV. It’d have a great turnout, money-wise anyways!
It’s novel approach, and cynical enough that I like it… but it doesn’t pay out until after the war. You need to commercialize the war effort itself.
The Independent Health Fire Bombing of Baghdad could be televised live on CNN, with a scrolling ticker extolling the virtues of the lackluster health provider. It’s got ironic zing.
ABC’s Wide World of Bunker Busting could lead the evening, running opposite NBC’s Law and Order: Strategic Napalm Unit.
And, of course, who wouldn’t weep for sheer patriotic joy when it is announced that, “This high altitude bombing run is brought to you, commercial free, by United Airlines. Fly the friendly skies!”
How about a television show called “The Husseins”, it will be a reality tv kind of thing in which Saddma will have the chance to prove he isn’t really the prince of darkness but a nice chap. Oops I’ve heard this show might be cancelled before the pilot
(sorry not a very good joke in an awfull situation)
