My wife and I both live within 20-30 miles of where we were born and raised. We each have 1 married sibling who lives w/in 10 miles of us. One of our kids lives 10 minutes from us, and there are 3 married nieces/nephews w/in 2 hrs drive. Neither of us are “social butterflies,” routinely turning down excessive social obligations. 
I guess it takes something more than “being difficult” for us to cut one of those few family members entirely out of our lives.
I would not. Especially if i could limit the time spent catering to that relative.
Dtr came over for lunch and we took the next steps in planning the Disney trip. Productive phone call with Disney rep answered our current questions. There will be addl decisions to be made between now and the trip, but I’m sure not seeing it as being as complicated as folk contend. You just have to make plans and keep track of a planning calendar and trip itinerary. And decide how big of a mortgage to take out to pay for it! NO ONE - including my other kid, knows what will be best for these 4 adults and 2 kids. And how many hundreds/thousands of $ do we wish to prepare for every eventuality…
I’ll check back after if I feel, “If ONLY I had KNOWN!” But I doubt that will happen.
Also expressed my intentions to my wife/kid - that I had no preference to go to any particular park or ride, but only wanted to experience and contribute to the kids having the best time possible. Said I might not wish to stand in a particular line or go on a particular ride, and might sit on a bench nearby. Or if one of the kids wanted to go back to the pool, I’d go with them. They understood completely, and perceived not a hint that I would be a wet blanket.
And complication on the othe trip. Eldest grandkid is starting middle school, and they have not yet issued their calendar, stating only that some orientation will occur in “early August.” Kinda mindblowing that the school district does not acknowledge that some people need to make plans that far ahead. So maybe we won’t even be going to Door County.
So how and why do they even know in the first place? Sometimes simply being quiet about things prevents problems that are hard to solve.
“Loose lips sink ships.”
Like I’ve said upthread, we don’t speak to our distant kids all that often, and we don’t have all that much going on. So when we do speak, it can be hard to avoid mentioning a sorta significant trip we are planning. Especially if the kid asks, “what is going on?” with us or their sibling/nieces. I’m not a big one on really worrying about telling some people some things and not telling them other things.
Yeah, you ought not say things you don’t have to say if you suspect they will cause distress. But I’m not sure how much family members ought to have to “hide” things from each other.
I understand. Life for all of us is about choices and consequences, so I’m NOT criticizing yours. I’m just answering the OP from my perspective.
I have one relative who can get weird about our travel (e.g., “Why didn’t you stop by my house? Why didn’t you stay with me? The dog is hurt that you didn’t come see her”), so we don’t always reveal our plans. We have international cellular, so we can reply or make contact if there’s an emergency. I always let my mother know, and usually we let all relevant family know in case something unexpected happens.
Yeah. My wife has one cousin who lives about an hour from Denver. Last time we saw our kids she expressed displeasure that we hadn’t stopped by her house. So this summer we are apparently going to see them. Hopefully just for a lunch at a restaurant 1/2 way between. Thing is, I really dislike her and her husband, don’t think my wife really likes her, and never got the impression the cousin really cares about us! Family is weird.
Ive heard over the years that Disney has removed many benches in favor of keeping guests aka customers moving past retail stores for the point of sale opportunities basically Eisner wanted DW to evolve as a retail mall with rides.
Though it was over ten years since your visit any truth to the lack of seating and quiet nooks?
Did you go in April and have to deal with spring break crowds?
As someone who is estranged from my mother, you’d think I’d be all for cutting people out of your life, but it’s really hard and isolating, actually. In my Mom’s case it had to be done but I don’t necessarily think the nuclear option is the only way to go. There are ways to keep your distance from people if they are hard to deal with that don’t require completely burning bridges. That’s assuming they bring something positive to your life, even if it’s occasional pleasant company.
Not that I’m about to tell anyone else whether it’s worth it or not - that’s a personal decision. But there is a valid Middle Path in a lot of cases. My mother is really an extreme case, and for adult kids and their parents I do often joke about the benefits of estrangement, because I think it’s a lot harder to disconnect emotionally from the person who raised you if they are still in your life.
But these problem relationships are definitely cases where limits should be set and emphasized repeatedly.
IME, a big help is reaching a firm conclusion as to how this person behaves, and what to expect. The first umpteen times, it can be hard to really perceive of or conceptualize a consistent trend. Maybe they don’t do the unpleasant behavior EVERY time. Or it can manifest differently. And there is the factor that most of us tend to give family/friends the benefit of the doubt.
In our case and with this one SIL, once we realized her traits, it was easier to deal with her - lowering our expectations. We have completely cut off interaction with/ the other SIL, who most recently stole $30k from the other 2 sisters as administrator of a portion of FIL’s estate.
When I was at university, they wouldn’t get the timetable sorted out until the 2nd week of term. Meanwhile, my brother, in another university, in a different course, had his timetable 3 months earlier, before the end of the year.
Just a reminder, every year, that it could be done better, just a question of mind over matter: our facility didn’t mind, and we didn’t matter.
That’s so true. The school district passes the buck, saying they are awaiting the state setting the schedule.
Whereas any of the thousands of parents involved could, if given an idea of the state’s concerns - start/end terms at certain points, certain number of days/vacations/in-service days, whatever - could sit down with their calendars and in no more than a few minutes come up with at least rough ideas of what was expected for the next 5 years.
Yeah, my vacation plans are not the biggest deal in the world. But with my kids’/grandkids’ schedules - daycamps, etc, there are only so much “free” time during the summer. And in our experience, late summer is better than early for travel north. Plus, many destinations require reservations a year in advance. There just is no reason why the schools could not publish “tentative - subject to revision” calendars one year in advance. But they are not required to, so they don’t.