Fortunately, my internet isn’t down, but I’m making a marketing presentation to a large company to sell our services, which includes local IT support world-wide.
To emphasis our strength over the competition, I’m making a “joke” Option A support: translation of “The internet is down” in as many languages as possible.
With the multiple language capability of the Dope, I hope to get quite a few.
Thank you!
<waves hi at TokyoPlayer and his family>
Esperanto: La Interreto ne funkcias.
Very bad French: L’Internet est tombée en panne.
French: (L’) Internet ne marche pas/plus.
Whether you put the definite article on the word “Internet” is more or less up to your discretion. The Académie says we should, but it sounds ridiculous to me.
As for pas/plus, the difference is: “pas” means the internet doesn’t work here, period ; whereas “plus” means it did work at some point but doesn’t work right just this minute.
Bulgarian:
Интернетът не работи.
Internetut ne raboti.
Spanish:
La internet no funciona.
Alternate version:
La red no funciona.
In standard Chinese, 上不了網 (shang bu liao wang), which actually means ‘can’t get online’, is probably the best translation that won’t sound awkward.
For something informal, ‘Internet唔work’ (唔pronounced as mmm, as in ‘mmm… cookies!’) would be perfectly idiomatic in spoken Hong Kong Cantonese.
Finnish: Internet ei toimi. Colloquial: Netti on alhaalla.
German:
Das Internet ist ausgefallen.
Polish: Internet nie działa.
Hungarian: Nem működik az internet.
L’Internet est kaput ! *
L’Internet ne fonctionne plus
L’Internet ne marche plus (il ne peut plus marcher car il n’a plus de pattes :))
L’Internet est plein d’anguilles.
Das Internet ist voller Aale.
インターネットは鰻でいっぱいです
(Just kidding)
Hindi:
Internet kaam nahi kar raha hai
इंटरनेट काम नहीं कर रहा है
Kannada:
Internet oDuthilla
ಇಂಟರ್ನೆಟ್ ಓಡುತಿಲ್ಲಾ
Heh,
やっぱり、パイプが塞がっている。。
Russian:
Интернет не работает.
Internet nye rabotaet.
or, as a variant:
Cеть не работает.
Syet’ [network] nye rabotaet.
I believe Internet should be masculine, so “L’Internet est tombé en panne.”
I would put it, personally. It seems to me to be similar to saying “le métro est hors service”, speaking about the whole subway network.
This seems like a pedantic distinction to me. If you tell me that “l’Internet ne fonctionne pas”, I’ll understand that it means you can’t currently connect, not that you don’t have Internet access.
Although if you wanted to tell me you don’t have Internet access, you could go with “je n’ai pas Internet”. I can’t really explain why I wouldn’t use an article here, while I would use one in the earlier sentence.
[/quote]
Waves back! Interesting, I may offer two service options, with one as really rough translations
Thanks everyone! this is in time for our working meeting this morning (yes, on a Sunday morning) :mad: The team f*cked up but we’ve got to get this out.
Because you’re crazy? 
Actually, I’d say it as “je n’ai pas d’Internet”, though “je n’ai pas l’Internet” is what my husband would say. Not using an article reads like “je n’ai pas auto” or “je n’ai pas services santé” which is clearly wrong.
“L’Internet est tombé en panne” sounds weird to me, but I can’t say why. What does a dépanneuse for the Internet look like, I wonder?
I like “L’Internet ne fonctionne plus”.
So, how’d the meeting go, TokyoPlayer?
Probably because it’s the first thing that popped into my head, courtesy of Miss Phillip in Grade 9 French?
Like this?
Redneck Pervert:
Hey! My porn ain’t workin’
These are basically literal. They say “The internet doesn’t work (funcionar, to function, as opposed to trabajar, meaning to do labor)” and “The net doesn’t work”. “Internet” in Spanish can also be masculine, as “El internet no funciona.”
“Red” is just the Spanish word for “net”, and is also used metaphorically like the English word.
You could also say “La internet está descompuesta.” (or the equivalent “El internet está descompuesto.” if you’d rather imagine the internet as a boy.) meaning “The internet is broken (in the sense of being out of order or nonfunctional.)” If you want to be weird or sound like someone learning Spanish, you can say “La internet está rota (broken as in physically broken, oddly enough, not a bad metaphor for a broken internet, but the word implies physical damage).”
Latin: Interrēte dēfūngitur.
