While Dr. Kegel’s aim was to help women suffering from occasional urinary incontinence after childbirth, the most dramatic side-effect of his life’s work is to have given many women a distinct technical advantage in coitus.
My current SO, unfortunately, doesn’t seem aware of this ability. I find chatty or “bossy” sex a little repellent, and subtle hints (eg; a “flex” or prod) doesn’t seem to inspire the usual reciprocation.
(Sorry if this is TMI)
I’m looking for a female POV here-- How can I ask, “Do you know that you can do this?” without impuning her abilities?
Well, since guys can do Kegels too, I think the best way would be to start doing them yourself, and after about a week, say “Oh, hey hon, I’ve been doing these exercises, and sex is much better for me, why don’t you try them?”
Besides, if we’re going to go TMI, a guy with good pelvic muscles can do a really cool “tail-wagging” sort of trick…I’m not saying it’ll turn her on, but she’ll definitely giggle.
Suggest that she try the excercises for fun. Ask her if she’d be willing to try them for a month, to see if it adds to her enjoyment. It might work. Phrase your request very carefully, however.
You might want to be careful with this. I bristled when I saw the subject, because I thought you were going to suggest that your girlfriend is… well… relaxed. You need to make sure there is no hint of “tightening” mentioned, because that could very well insult her.
Talk to her for pete’s sake ! A woman doesn’t know you want something if you don’t tell her ! But do not say something that will hurt her feelings or piss her off, like my old girlfriend could do this. That could get you hurt, badly.
Find a book that deals with Kegels and share it with her.
Or look into a set of Ben Waa Balls, I’ve heard they can help with that. I also heard that having a set in makes Kegels fun !
Of course I am sweet and innocent and wouldn’t know a thing about it.
Hah- That’s what I meant by a “flex”. With most girls, it produces a sort “Oh, yeah, I can do that too, ya know” response.
No doubt. Fear that it would be taken that way is exactly what keeps me quiet. That and the “Oh, so you’ve had better, have you?” scenario that I keep picturing. Not pretty.
Thanks folks, you’ve been helpful. Just testing the waters to see if I’d get a Don’t even think about it!
I would suggest either getting a close girlfriend of hers to bring it up one day in conversation, or else just bringing it up casually after sex one of these days:
“Hey, I read something the other day about Kegel exercises… have you ever heard of them?”
If she says no, explain what they are (tell her to practice clenching both her vaginal muscles and the muscles she uses to stop her flow of urine) and suggest she try it for a while, just for fun, to see if she likes the results.
If she has heard of them, ask her if she found they gave good results - if yes, suggest maybe she try again to see if it’ll spice things up a bit, and if no, don’t press the issue.
Act like you really don’t care one way or the other. If you have good communication in your relationship, it’ll work out fine.
(By the way, I agree that they can make sex wonderful - at least that’s what my boys have always said when I clamp down HARD on them…)
My lady had already started doing them before I met her, so I consider myself very fortunate.
If she had not, however, I would have no problem talking to her about this. That’s what being in love is all about. Honesty and communication. It may be awkward, and she may take it the wrong way at first, but I bet she’ll either start doing the exercises or give you a good reason why she won’t. It’s better to be honest and let the chips fall where they may.
Of course there’s a time and place for everything. In bed in the heat of the moment is not the time and place to bring this up.
I would suggest the same way you encourage a fat wife to lose weight. Exercise together. Put a towel over your erect penis for added weight and “flex” - you can call these “Peen-ups.” Try using a less technical term - Kegel may scare her off or make her think your talking about Jewish noodle pudding. First thing off the top of my head (figurative) - “Puss-ups”
My otherwise good-for-nothing step-father hipped me to that exercise when I was 15 years old. He advised a wet facecloth in the shower. Does wonders for stamina. God rest his pervert soul.
[Virtual Nasal Ejection of Milk.]
Oh-my-god. Thank you so much.
