I am a mother who was not particularly thrilled when my daughter joined the Air Force. She had graduated from high school with honors and went to college for two and a half years before making the decision to join.
Before joining the Air Force she had no direction in her life. She felt out of place at college because she couldn’t decide on a major and felt she was spinning her wheels and spending alot of money with no goal in mind.
Frankly, I was wrong and she was right. The USAF has helped her solidify her career goals, is training her in her chosen field, and has given her the opportunity to travel a bit. She turned 21 in boot camp, is approaching 23 now and was recently chosen as Medical Airman of the Year. She has blossomed into a strong, confident, compassionate young lady with very clear ideas of her purpose in life.
Joining the Air Force was the best decision of her life.
Man, do I feel for you. My son’s brother recently enlisted. He was never a very good student, had a terrible childhood, and really didn’t see any way to get a leg-up in the world without the service. I’m very anti-Iraq War and really didn’t want to see him go, but he didn’t have any other options, so we’re hoping for the best.
You may want to remind him that whatever they say at the recruitment office can change at the needs or whims of the powers that be. If he ends up going anyway, you can help the mom by reminding her that not everyone who goes in gets hurt or killed. In fact, most come home just fine. It’s hard to remember when you’re fearing for your loved one, but maybe it will help to get her through the next few years. Good luck.
My suggestion is to tell him to study hard in school his last year and get his diploma. If he does want to join, he’ll be looked at more favorably as a graduate. Another benefit of effort in school is a high score on the Armed Forces Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) test. This is the test that will determine what he is eligible for and what he is not. A high ASVAB score vastly increases your options and your value to the military, which may allow him to get what he wants.
Again I would like to thank you all for your thoughtful insight. I’ve weighed your input and my own life experiences and I’ve decided to take the following approach:
I will start off by congratulating him for being mature enough to look down the road and plan ahead.
I will tell him about my experiences in the Army; how they made a man out of me, how I saw parts of the world that most people never will, how I was able to go to college, how I was able to make friendships that lasted a lifetime, learned the concept of camaraderie, etc., etc.
We’ll go see F9/11.
After the show, over pizza or cheeseburgers, I’ll outline how insincere his recruiter may be. I’ll explain to him that although the military is a stepping stone into law enforcement, its not the only one. We’ll discuss how important good grades during his senior year are and how he may be able to get a Pell grant or Bright Futures scholarship if he tries hard, and that trying hard as a civilian is as honorable as trying hard as a GI. I’ll reinforce how his mother will feel better if he stays home for a while.
We’ll discuss the war and his chances of being deployed and how once he’s over there, there’s no turning back. I’ll tell him that the VA is reporting that one in eight soldiers returning from combat duty suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome and how that affected his real dad. I’ll explain how short MP school is compared to the police academy, and how an associates degree in criminal science might be more in his favor in the long run. I’ll explain how the Coast Guard is a law enforcement agency.
I will offer to sit in with him and his mom when the recruiter visits Thursday night. I will respect his decision, whatever it turns out to be. Promise.
Or maybe I never made it clear in any of my other posts on militaria…I am of a family who [the major branches of] have been on this continent for some 300 odd years, and in military service the whole time. I call us a ‘military traditional family’ because like many of the european families you read about, at least 1 child of each nuclear family goes into the military, oftentimes all the kids go military. I am a military spouse [mrAru is now retired for just under a year from his 20] and every time the governtment burps and people go overseas, I lose family members and friends [for some odd reason, most of my friends and our family friends are military…go figure.] Believe me, I know first hand how it feels to lose friends and family. I also know how recruiters lie, and the relative truths of military life.
If you would be so kind to notice, I am heartily recommending that if the OP wants to be useful, to expain the facts of life of recruiter lying, and let the poor boy make up his own mind. IMHO, tradition aside, weigh it yourself…sit around whinging about slinging burgers for a living, or take a positive action, talk to recruiters, make an informed decision and get a number of years of pay and benefits and bootstrap your ass into a better life. Yes, there are possible dangers, but he could cross the street tomorrow and get hit by a car.
E72521, that sounds like an excellent approach – it’s honest and it’s not a one-way lecture, and you’re providing truly helpful information to him. Good luck, I hope it all turns out all right. I hope he decides not to join, but if he does, I hope he is safe, wherever he is sent.
I love the fucking Navy, because the Navy loves fucking me.
There’s a reason this phrase exists, and I’m sure you could replace the Service with any Branch you like. That said, I think I’ve been treated fairly well, so far… granted I’m in a rate that hemorrhages personnel and has somewhat high requirements, so there wasn’t much threat of my “guarantee” evaporating.
I don’t know that I’d try to talk him out of the Army, so much as try to find out what he wants out the military and see if he’d consider talking to the recruiters from the other branches. Master-at-Arms is a cooler sounding title than Military Police, too… though MP is better than Shore Patrol.
Without taking sides on whether the kid join go into the military, or which service, I suspect he’s considering it because it looks better than the alternatives. So what are the alternatives? If he doesn’t join up, what’s he going to do? You said he’s a dumb kid. Even if he could find money for college, could he get in? Could he get through? (A separate thread might be a discussion of the people who are in college only because they don’t know what else to do.) If his choice is, say, an Air Force base in Germany or Japan vs. a minimum-wage unskilled labor job, the service might look pretty good, and it might be good for him. On the other hand, if you could help him find some vocational training (auto mechanics? building trades?), money in the bank at home might start to look more appealing than, say, guard duty in Baghdad. The key question is “the military or ???.”
I’ve got no dog in this fight, having no military experience, but I do have fairly extensive knowledge of law enforcement hiring procedures (at least in my small neck of the woods), and IME this is not the case. The LE agency of the government entity for which I work will take four years in the service (MP) over an AA degree, every single time. No comparison. Either way they’re going to want you to have gone to the law enforcement academy if your duties include carrying a gun. YMMV.
Well, E72521, your outline of a planned talk with the young man seems like a reasonable one to me --I certainly don’t think it’s ever a bad idea to talk with kids about their plans and, even, to be a sort of devil’s advocate for them.
That said, I do think I’d still recommend that you suggest he speak with other service branches in addition to the Army. If nothing else, that will buy you a bit of time while he explores all options. And I do think it sounds as if another branch would be a better fit for this particular kid – at least so far as I can tell from this distance. Also, given Jodi’s insider input, you probably ought to double check your area’s law enforcement agencies and be certain that an AA degree really would be of as much benefit to him as military experience. You don’t want to be pulling a ‘recruiter’ on him and giving him incorrect gouge in an attempt to make him decide your way. Also, maybe it’s a personal pet peeve of mine, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to throw in the bit about how his mother will feel better if he stays home for a while – as a mother myself, I think it’s unfairly coercive to use his affection for his mother to influence his life plans. No good boy likes the idea of hurting his mother, but he ought to make his decisions about his adult life based on what is best for him, not what will make his mother the happiest.
I came into this thread to admantly say “SAY ANYTHING YOU CAN TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT” but I have to say after reading others experiences maybe it would work.
I know if it were my son I would do everything I could to prevent him joining the military (especially in the current world climate) but I also know several people who have recieved very good qualifications through the military.
I hate the fact that the military takes those who have not achieved at school and dangles the chance to suceed in front of them, but it is true. It is somewhere those who have not been sucessful can really gain something to be used in private life.
At the end of the day the boy is the only one who knows what sacrafices he is prepared to make.
If you talk to him adult to adult and tell him you just want to make sure he has all the information to make an informed decision then I don’t see how he can argue with you. Explore the options of financial aide for college. See what the requirements are for law enforcement in your area. Make sure he talks to all the branches before he decides on one. Go to different recruiters to see if they give different options. Some are better than others and may be able to do more for him. Despite what people are saying most recruiters are telling the truth (most of the time). If it is in the contract then you can pretty much count on it. Even in the Army a contract is legally binding. If it is not in the contract then it isn’t going to happen. In the Army you will get the MOS promised. You will get the bonus. Especially if you are going MP. You will get the assignment promised if that is given as an option. That is not to say if you are promised Germany you might show up and find out your unit is due to go to Iraq. Make sure he knows that most MPs are going to Iraq. That is where they are needed the most. However, things might look much different by the time he graduates and is ready to enlist. Make him promise not to rush into this. Go with him to the recruiter.
What was said about the other branches is pretty accurate. In my opinion the Air Force does have better living conditions. The Coast Guard is a good career but they are very underfunded. They also don’t tell you which coast you will be guarding. My uncle was CG in WWII and he piloted Higgins boats in 7 major invasions in the Pacific. There is CG in the Persian Gulf right now.
Again the best thing you can do is make sure he has all the options and information to make a decision. Treat him like an adult and don’t try to talk him out of anything. After he makes a choice support him or get out of his way. Its his life and his choice.
I have be in the Army in one form or another for 15 years. I am also in law enforcement. The kid sounds a lot like me . It took me a little longer to make my choice. I wasted a couple of years and a lot of money in college before I realized I wasn’t ready for it and joined up. I don’t regret it at all.
Sounds like a very good plan. In general, as ex-Navy I’m in favor of military service myself, but I know it’s not for everyone, and it’s very easy for recruiters to lie to eager young kids. I’d also suggest emphasizing the realities of military duty - does he really want to share a bathroom with 59 of his closest friends? And, like most others here, I’d suggest that you have him at least talk to other recruiters, not just the Army. Most of the dissatisfaction I remember from shipmates during my time in was how the picture presented by their recruiters was so much rosier than the reality. I don’t know any off the top of my head, but I’m sure there are some good books that describe, first hand, what living in the Army is really like.
No real advice, but I was on the cusp of joining the Army was I was 19, had done everything but put my name on the dotted line, when my father talked me out of it. I was disillusioned with college, wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with my life, yadda, yadda, yadda. He didn’t even argue with me; just the sheer force of his disappointment kept me from enlisting.
At 48, I still wonder whether this was the right decision or not.
I don’t mean to hijack, but, man, this one line from the link just jumped out at me:
. It took me a little longer to make my choice. I wasted a couple of years and a lot of money in college before I realized I wasn’t ready for it and joined up. I don’t regret it at all.