Dad is 82. Physically, he is fine, and mentally he’s great, also.
Operating a motor vehicle is a different issue, altogether. When in his familiar surroundings, he performs well. When placed in unfamiliar surrounds, he becomes confused and cannot process pavement differences, particularly at dusk.
What I accepted while a little kid as sleeping Dad sounds, I’ve learned as an adult to be classic patterns related to sleep apnea, although IANAD.
His nodding off to sleep an hour or so into a trip, and other behaviours associated with sleep deprivation DO concern me, as I don’t want Pop to do himself or anyone else in, owing to diminished skills.
Any attempt at dialog elicits a rage.
Where I/he reside, the State Police cannot do anything unless (A) an accident takes place where an elders operating skills are questioned, or (B) a medical Doctor recommends that the elders operating privileges be reevaluated or revoked.
Any other dopers have input regarding similar encounters with parents together with advice?
Does he have a regular doctor you can talk to? That would seem to me the easiest way to get him safe and still avoid the rage issue, at least between family.
Fortunately my grandmother, while still having car and license, acknowledges that she probably shouldn’t drive unless it’s an emergency.
I thought his Doc was not permitted to speak with me regarding these issues. If I learn that to be untrue, I’ll consult with my siblings and approach the MD.
danceswithcats, your father would need to sign a release form in order for you to get information from his doctor (which, at his age, someone in your family should have that access, along with a health care proxy, if you don’t already) unless you are in the office with your father when he goes to the doctor. Since they’ve passed a new federal law, doctor’s offices are quite strict about this. BUT, there’s nothing that says you can’t give information to your father’s doctor. i.e., you can call the doctor and express your concerns or write them in a letter and explain the situation and your concerns.
I had to start going to doctor’s appointments with my father (not all, but periodically or the more important ones) and that’s a good way of getting all that paperwork signed while you’re there along with getting/giving accurate information. Often, with an adult child accompanying a parent, they’ll offer the paperwork. My Dad is still driving, though not as much, and so far he seems ok. He’s almost 78 and now on dialysis 3x per week, which he drives himself to and from. I dread the day we have to talk about giving up driving. Best of luck.