Jerry Lee Lewis: Great Balls of Fire.
Jerry Lewis: Man, the balls on that guy…
Jerry Lewis helps the children, Jerry Lee Lewis marries them.
Climate is what you expect.
Weather is what you get.
And Romulans tend to wear their hair in a widow’s peak, causing them to vagely resemble Eddie Munster.
Marley23 and Skammer: The pronounciation of ‘console’ changes when you refer to the “comfort” definition.
Shame on me for misspelling Montalban. Probably because I’ve been mispronouncing since I was five years old, watching Fantasy Island on Saturday nights. Oddly enough, I can spell “Herve Villechaize.” Huh.
poi is a Hawaiian dish.
pooey is what little kids say when they spit out food.
Phooey was an underrated master of the martial arts.
A Bactrian camel has TWO humps.
A Dromedary camel has ONE.
People are hanged as a form of capital punishment. Think: “hangman.”
Clothes, paintings and drapes are hung.
Incidentally, so am I.
epitath is what they write on your grave.
epithet is a nickname or obscenity .
premiere means “debut.”
premier (No ‘e’) means “first in its class.”
negro is Spanish for the color, black.
Negro is an old term of descendants of African slaves in America.
Negress is a female Negro.
nigger is a volitale epithet. (see ‘epithet’, above)
nigra obsolete genteel form of nigger, used by genteel whites who weren’t comfortable saying “Negro.”
nigga considered a more genteel form of nigger, used by blacks who aren’t comfortable with “nigger.”
Hey, I like this thread.
San Francisco The city by the bay in California.
Frisco – a small city in Texas near Dallas (there are others).
Oddly enough, some people do get the two mixed up. 
Bing Crosby: White singer
*Bill Cosby: Black comedian, actor
Jack Nicholson: Actor
Jack Nicklaus Golfer
And now a menagerie of animal diffs:
Frogs- Smooth wet skin, live on land and water.
Toads- Dry bumpy skin, live mainly on land.
Bees- Furry, acidic venom, barbed stingers. Use toothpaste/ baking soda to relieve a sting.
Hornets- Smooth, more streamlined than bees, basic venom, smooth shafted stingers. Us lemon juice on their stings.
Monkeys- Have tails.
Apes- Don’t.
Porpoises- Short snouts, smaller than dolphins. Spade shaped teeth.
Dolphins- Have beaks, larger than porpoises, Have conical teeth.
Parrot- And bird in the family Psittacidae.
Macaw- Any bird in one of six specific genera of Psittacidae: Ara, Anodorhynchus, Cyanopsitta, Propyrrhura, Orthopsittaca , and Diopsittaca. (Thanks for this, Wikipedia!)
I used to get confused about this:
George Orwell wrote 1984.
Orson Welles did The War of the Worlds radio broadcast and directed Citizen Kane.
H. G. Wells wrote The War of the Worlds.
And a pet peeve, although I doubt any Doper is confused about this:
astronomer: scientist who studies stars and galaxies
astronaut: spacecraft crew member
astrologer: fortune teller
No, it’s not. I mean, unless there was a violent revolutionary war while I wasn’t looking.
Cimmaron - A member of a fictional nomadic band of barbarians
Cinnamon - A stripper I knew at Magic City in Atlanta. Also, a reddish brown spice that tingles the tongue, which, again, describes this stripper.
Crom - Conan’s god.
Crumb - An influential underground cartoonist.
Krum - Speculated half-blood prince and Hermione’s pen pal.
chrome - shiny metal.
Manet - 19th century French painter. Used subject matter for visual effect and dabbled in neo-impressionist style.
Monet - 19th century French painter. Leading French impressionist; think: “Water Lilies,” younger than Manet.
money- what is needed to purchase a Manet or Monet.
centrifugal - the force that seperates items outward from the center from a heterogenous mix.
centripedal - the force that keeps the water in the bucket when you swing it in a circle above your head.
If you still can’t tell them apart, blame my 12th grade science teacher. Offhand, centrifugal force sounds much stronger.
Idlewild. Correction: Bali is a fictional country. Sorry.
ABBA how to tell them apart:
The women were the A’s–Anni-Frid and Agnetha. Anni-Frid is the redhead who was married to Benny. Agnetha was the blond who was married to Bjorn.
The men were the B’s–Benny & Bjorn. Benny had the beard and usually played the keyboards and rarely sang. Bjorn was clean shaved, played the guitar, and sometimes sang.
Brothers Lloyd Webber–Andrew is the one you’ve heard about, who composed The Likes of Us, Joseph, Superstar, Jeeves, Evita, Cats, Song&Dance, Starlight Express, Requiem, Cricket, Phantom of the Opera, Aspects of Love, Sunset Boulevard, Whistle Down the Wind, The Beautiful Game and The Woman in White.
Julian is the one you don’t hear about, who is the classical cellist.
Both have been married THREE times.
And the name of Ron Dean’s detective character on “Early Edition”.
Sam Spade: Private detective. Created by Dashiell Hammet; appeared in only one novel/film, The Maltese Falcon; tough and unromantic.
Phillip Marlowe: Private detective. Created by Raymond Chandler; appeared in numerous novels, stories and films; tough, but with a romantic, idealistic interior.
Sure, but we’re typing all this out.
And centrifugal force doesn’t exist, at least according to some people.
Christopher Morley: American author and journalist.
Me: Also American author and journalist, but with a name that is not spelled or pronounced the same, dammit.
Saint Lawrence River: a river beginning at Kingston and draining the Great Lakes into the Gulf of Saint Lawrence. Natural phenomenon.
Saint Lawrence Seaway: a series of locks and canals beginning at Montreal and running up to Iroquois, Ontario (sometimes taken to include the Welland and Soo canals as well), allowing ships to pass from the Great Lakes to the sea. Man-made constructions.
McLachlan: Sarah.
McLaughlin: Audrey.
McLauchlin: me.
Thomas Morley–Medieval composer of a great many songs, most if not all of which are vastly improved by the removal of the words. To wit:
*I love, alas, I love thee
I love, alas, I love thee
My dainty darling, my dainty darling,
I love, alas, I love thee
Come kiss me, then, come kiss me, then,
come kiss me, Amarylis, Amarylis,
More lovely than sweet Phyllis…*
Stephen J. Hawking: Theoretical physicist. Speaks using a voice synthesizer. Wrote A Brief History of Time.
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins: Voodoo blues singer. Screamed and went “bblblflgbablblblblaugghh” a lot. Wrote I Put a Spell On You.