I, for one, object to the marrying of 5 year olds.
*Almost *ten years younger, Enderw. She could be in first or second grade!
It does. I think 16 to 21 is unusual, but in this case readily explicable. They spent a lot of time together for fairly natural reasons. Eventually, stuff happened. If the 21 year old is a good guy then I’m inclined to think it’s fine.
All parties involved should be aware of the relevant AOC. If it’s 17 or 18 then the boy needs to be warned to be careful just in case things go badly (woman scorned, pregnant, etc).
I dated (and had sex with) a 21 year old when I was 17. There was nothing bad or unequal in our relationship. I guess he was a bit immature for his age, so we were about on par with each other. And we met because we went to the same college and were in a club together. He was a great guy and made an excellent first boyfriend. My husband of 12 years is a lot like him in many ways, so I guess he helped me figure out what I like in a man.
I think this situation sounds much more like my experience, rather than a skeezy man preying on a young girl because he can manipulate her. The fact that the guy is in college and socially awkward says to me that he’s still in “kid mode” and has a lot in common with the girl. There’s also no reason to ask, “why is this guy trolling for a girl that age,” since they met naturally enough.
Bottom line - it seems as harmless as allowing her to do the same things with a 17 year old boy.
If the 21-yo is socially immature, he may be at the same stage as the girl.
If they’re both socially awkward, they may really not be doing anything implied in ‘making out’ besides making out. Whether doing more than making out is legal depends on the state, and I think 16 is still legal in some states (checks - yep).
I’m picturing ‘Napoleon Dynamite and Deb’ - is that about right? If I knew the boy, and he really was about 17 emotionally, and my daughter had never dated, I think I’d be happy for her. My daughter is 11, though, and my opinion may change in a few years.
Pfft. They were boinking that whole time and keeping it on the downlow. 
Pfft. He was probably boinking her uphigh before he was boinking her downlow.
Interesting link…the age of consent is 18 in a number of states. Recalling my high school days, that seems pretty unrealistic to me.
It’s already been posted, so I’ll just jump on the bandwagon for age / 2 + 7 as the rule of thumb.
Meh.
Does the girl has any self-respect? Then she’s fine. If she doesn’t, it doesn’t matter how old the guy is.
While a lass with no self-respect is screwed no matter what, a perfectly smart and self-respecting teen girl can easily be taken advantage of by an older man.
Long story so I will not go into it. My wife is 4.5 years younger than me. She was in high choool and I was in college when we started to date.
If I had known just how much the difference in our age was we would not have started to date.
By the time I realized just how young she was I was hooked.
We got married in 1971 and are still married. So it can work out.
Not always. I enjoyed my wife’s company because she was more mature that many of the girls I was dating that were my age. She did not play games.
RickJay, someone can have self-respect and still be naive.
I’m a 24-year old guy who is seeing a woman who is 17 years my senior.
We’re both extremely happy.
I think some previous posters’ strict rules about maximum age gaps are ridiculous.
I generally dated girls 5-6 years older from 14 onwards, and the primary reason for this was that it was easier to find things in common. I wouldn’t be so dismissive; this is bound to happen sometimes.
(I hesitate to add that the secondary reason that I chased after girls that were older than me was that they put out much more reliably.)
In my first job after college, my co-workers tried to hook me up with the 18-year old high school senior who was interning in the office. I was 22 and there certainly wouldn’t have been anything illegal about it. However, it felt creepy to me.
Looking back I am not sure why I felt that way. After all, my father is 21 years older than my mother. And at the time, its not like women were beating a path to my door.
When I was 15 I dated a 10yo.
Pffft. Nothing wrong with 21/16 at all. That 1/2+7 rule is stupid.
I’m 19 and I am seeing a 40 year old woman… Now that is a weird gap!
“Hey get off my case bub” “She doesn’t look her age!” “I know, I know…”