My kookometer would be off the charts and I’d back away slowly. Then I’d recall the Weirdo Who Was On My Side story to friends and family for the rest of my life.
It’s a great line, and what’s important is to make people believe that the reaction of the character is perfectly reasonable for that character.
Ignore the other posts in this thread. None were posted by your character, who is the person who is doing the reacting.
I can see myself getting a lot of mileage from that one. 
Unless the character is an evil space alien who wants to destroy my universe and is undercover posing as a dumb romantic nonsensialist. Then it is very clever.
Oh that’s nothing. W-K romances have been known to work just fine. B-Z was simply hopeless, though.
Anyway, to the OP: I would think, “She is too young for me.” When I was younger, I might have said, “What do you have against entropy?” It is a little clunky, but there is a period in life when you get to throw around gratuitous weak profundities and it;s still cute.
I must respectfully disagree. I think it’s a terrible line, and likely to throw me right out of the book. In my opinion, good writing doesn’t make me say to myself, “Come on, no one talks like that.”
Put me down as another person who finds it pretentious and ridiculous. My response would be to not give much of a response at all, but to file it away under “This person is weird, and not in the good way” and then not have much to do with them in the future.
Agreed.
I concur with those who don’t think it sounds like a believable line. I would either think the person was going for some kind of pretentious joke or ominous affect or that they might be mentally ill. Whatever the case, I would find it to be a turn off and would at least dismiss that person as a romatic possibility and probably try to avoid them after that if I could.
I’d laugh out loud. That’s what I did here at home.
Egads! That’s gibberish!
This might disrupt my reputation as an intelligent person here on the dope… Huh? What’s that? Ok, they say I have no such reputation, so I’m perfectly safe.
I’d be rather flattered and intrigued if someone said that to me.
“Listen, toots, we gotta’ lot more worry about than whatever transcendental hookup bullshit you got goin’ on. Do you know who these guys are? No, you don’t, and you know why? ‘Cause they get paid for you to not know who they are, that’s why. And if they do their jobs right, you and I will never know who they are because we won’t even see ‘em comin’. Now, when I asked what you want from me, what I meant was, are you gonna’ take the early shift or the late shift? ‘Cause somebody’s gotta’ sit out here with this twelve-gague and blast the shit out of any car that goes by at less than thirty miles an hour, okay?”
Or something like that.
“…Wow. That is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’m going to go over there, away from you.”
I’d say “Yeah, yeah, save that crap for Greg, Dharma.” or “Who are you… Dharma?” or “Did Dharma tell you to say that?”
Something with “Dharma” in it, basically.
No offence but it sounds like a slightly different way of saying “I just want to rock your world”
Sorry Cyn didn’t see that you had already said this…I just now read all the posts.
If love does not disrupt, if you do not think of that love at times most inappropriate, then you are beyond love, and God help me when I am beyond love.
I think you’ll have to either change the line to make it more realistic or change the character’s reaction to make it clear that he can’t take it seriously either. Nobody really talks that way. I’d opt for the latter, if the plot allows, because kooks are fun, but you’ll have to keep it consistant.
Wow, why would so many of you react in such a way over a simple comment?
Yeah, it’s stupid, but it’s not the type of situation that would be worth saying “Fuck off, you crazy bitch”.
Guys, please don’t be mean with your comments.
I’ve done a bit of writing myself and I know how hard it can be to expose it to criticism. If the criticism is constructive, it helps a writer to hone their work, but you don’t want to be hurtful.
As to the comment being something that someone would never say, Stephen King uses dialog which frequently fits this designation but he manages to make it work within the context of the story. (Probably one reason why his books don’t translate well to film.) Think of that line in The Stand, when Stu has his ankle grabbed by a dying plague victim who says, “Come down and eat chicken with me, beautiful. It’s sooo dark.” While reading the book, it sent chills down my spine but in the movie, it just seemed, well, . . . weird.
In our defense, the OP did ask for our reactions to the phrase, not simply criticism of his writing. It sounds like a lot of Dopers would not have a good reaction to it. I personally think this thread is very constructive, and not mean at all. I’m not the OP, though - hey, elfkin, is this helping, or are we being too rough?