Tone is so important in these things, as well as the relationship of the two people involved. I don’t mind being called sweetie or whatever outside of work but at work my given name is fine and nothing else, please. I talk to a lot of people who are angry in the course of my job and I never let them call me endearments, it’s usually not meant to be nice anyway.
Call him on it. Sweetie is inappropriate, give 'em an inch…
Is it possible that it was just one of those honest slips (like when you accidentally call a teacher “mum” or answer your boss’ “goodbye” on the phone with “bye, love you”)?
Thankas all. You’ve confirmed my “Um, whaaaa?” reaction, at the very least. I didn’t say anything at the time, and while I did recall it with annoyance several times throughout the afternoon, I never did say anything.
Considering this is someone who works in the district office–and thus someone I have extremely rare contact with–I’m just going to shrug it off. If it happens again, though, I’ll likely say something to the effect of, “Do* not* call me ‘sweetie.’”"
He seemed to say it out of frustration–I didn’t know WTH was going on most of the time–but it just seemed condescending. I call my 11yro students “hon” all the time, but they are children. It would never occur to me to call a coworker that. And I can’t help but think that if I had a penis, he would not have called me that.
But whatevah. I’ve let it go.
This is someone who deals with young children all day, right? Perhaps that is a word he uses when the talks to them and it just slipped out? I’d have to do an “I beg your pardon” so he could clarify, let him dig himself deeper if he meant disrespect or show that it was a mistake if that was the case. Too late now, I’d say let it go, which it sounds like you have.
Just popping in to say “Yeah, what they said!”
If he does it again, pull him aside (privately) and let him know that it’s inappropriate and you don’t appreciate it. If he does it after that, let him know right then and there that it’s inappropriate and you don’t appreciate it - in front of whoever happens to be around at the time, the more people the better! And, at that point, it’s time to talk to his boss or HR, whichever is more appropriate in your hierarchy, because talking to him has not resolved the issue.
But yeah, it’s too late for this time, unless you want to make time for a private meeting with him over the next day or two. It may have been situational, or it may just be a “thing he does” - I agree that it was inappropriate, in either context. But there’s something to be said for picking your battles, especially when he’s not someone you’ll have a lot of contact with.
I would have shot back with "Well, first thing, [sarcastic voice] sweeeeeettttttiiiieeee[/sarcastic voice] my name is [loud voice] Annie[/loud voice]
It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. In fact I sort of enjoy it when people use terms of endearment. I’ve never understood why people get so bent out of shape about it.
In my experience, men calling women “sweetie” in a professional context are being patronizing. Maybe it’s a regional thing, but I cannot envision a male colleague calling me sweetie unless we were on friendly terms and he was kidding around.
Mine too. There’s a certain subset of pompous older men who seem to assume that 1) all women in the workplace are secretaries, and 2) that it’s appropriate to call a secretary “sweetie” or “hon.” If it’s not in a professional context, it doesn’t bother me. But on the rare occasions when I have been called “sweetie” in the workplace, it’s by the same dudes who want me to make coffee. (To which I respond with a smile, “Oh, I don’t drink coffee. But feel free to make a pot for yourself.”)
Let it go. If it happens again (or regularly), then you can call him on it. But why make a huge deal out of one slip? You’re giving it way more thought and angst than it deserves. If you were a guy he might’ve used “Dude” , or “buddy”. Life is too short to get bent out of shape by something that wasn’t meant to be derogatory.
StG
All depends. Some might be thinking, ‘Thank God she went along with this,’ and be using the term to express thanks, i.e. ‘It’s so sweet of you to go through this hassle for us and we appreciate it tremendously.’ Others might be hitting on you or condescending. Either way, in front of a group—bad timing for sure.
If the work is all done and you won’t see the person again, I’d blow it off. If you’re not finished and you’ll be working more with a group, I’d head it off at the pass, talk to him privately beforehand, etc.
A male co-worker called me “sweetie” one time at work. I said, “Don’t call me ‘sweetie’” in an offended tone. He looked at me like I was crazy, and said, “That’s not insulting! That’s what I call my dog!”
I proceeded to hit him with a clue-by-four… 
I use terms of endearment all the time at work, but only with people I know well. And it’s usually done jokingly.
My business partner and I use silly ones with each other (buckaroo, pumpkin), or we’ll call each other “honey” if we’re having an office spouse moment. (as in “On your way to get those office supplies? Don’t forget the list honey!”)
For me, being on the receiving end of those terms depends on the context. If it were in a business meeting and it was condescending, I’d have a problem with it. Otherwise, it doesn’t bother me.