How would you run a GREATEST SLOTH tv show/competition?

Inspired by a comment of Tiburon’s in this thread.

Ok, lets say you want to sell this new concept reality show to Fox, “Who Wants to Lie in a Comfy Chair?” The object, to find the most slothful person in America.

Who are the contestants: how are they pcked? What are the rules/scoring? What are the challenges? What is the prize?

I’ll lay out a few ideas that seem logical to me. Feel free to add or embellish.

The contestants:
In order to level the playing field, the contestants must be capable of, but unwilling to do, any reasonable physical activity. Therefor paraplegics and those in persistant vegetative states are not eligible. It would not be fair in the “minimum physical exertion” measurements that will certainly make up part if not all of the scoring.

One entry criteria that will NOT be advertised is that if the potential contestants themselves fill out the application form, they will not be eligible. Only those lazy or smart enough to have a friend fill out the form for them will be eligible.

The challenges:
Temptations to take action, maybe cash offers, maybe a scorpion tossed in their lap. Maybe a fire. Starvation?

Cleverness at talking others (maybe a hidden camera thing with coworkers? strangers?) into doing the work for them.

The prize:
a virtual reality saltwater isolation tank, a waterproof computer, and a million dollar PayPal account.

This was a real tossup between IMHO, MPSIMS and CS. Mods, please move if bette suited elsewhere, or you just want it out of your sight.

If I was running a sloth TV show, I’d tape one episode and replay it week after week.

I need my rest.

Wasn’t there a game show recently where all you had to do was lay in a chair and not react as they tried to kill you in various ways? I seem to remember a heart-rate monitor being used to make sure you didn’t get too exuberant or scared.

Oh yes! THE CHAIR!

Hi there, YoJimboGuy!

As far as challenges go…being a very anal person, these are the things that would be hard for me to let go, without doing something about them:

  1. If something was spilled on the carpet or floor or table. I’d want it cleaned up immediately.

  2. Dishes left in the sink.

  3. Phone ringing constantly - I hate the phone ringing so even if I wanted to sit, it’d drive me nuts to hear it ringing.

  4. No easy to make food. Would someone rather not eat then cook something?

  5. If my hair was dirty or something. I’d have to be damn lazy not to bathe when I really needed it.

  6. I pee a lot. What happens to people who are too lazy to go to the bathroom?

So the person who wins would probably sit in a chair, eat peanut butter out of a jar, pee in a can, not bathe, and would be a mess.

You know, this contest could quickly turn into a slob contest, instead of a sloth one! How much grime could a person take before they broke down?

Tibs.

Simple solutions Tibs…

First off, I would say a hidden camera type show, where relatives nominate the contestant.

  1. If you were a true contestant, anything spilled would be on you, not the carpet.
  2. Dishes? Sink? What are these things??
  3. Oasis chair (phone comes in the arm rest).
  4. Order out, leave the door open, make calls from armrest and instruct the delivery people to come in.
  5. Shave your head, and have plenty of air spray.
  6. Diaper, plus baby powder for the diaper rash that will eventually aflict you.

A necessary item for a true sloth: one of those electronic muscle working devices. This is in order for your muscles to contract, which send the blood back up to your heart…

My GOD, who are you???