I’m trying to understand a few people I know. These people borrow things from me, and just keep them.
For example, I’ll loan a few CDs to someone. Months later, I’ll ask if they’ve listened to them. “Not yet, but I will.” Dammit, I loaned them to you so you could listen to them! If you’re not going to, just give them back. Maybe I’d like to hear them again. This is why if I want someone to hear something, I’ll just burn them a copy and give it to them. That way, they can do whatever they want with them.
And what’s with people expecting me to ask for these things back? If you’ve borrowed something from me, use it and give it back to me. Case in point, I loaned one of my guitar pedals to my brother. Once again, months later, I ask if he’s done. “Do you want it back?” Of course I want it back! It’s mine, dammit! Why should I ask if I can have my possessions back? Just use it for whatever you’re going to use it for, then give it back to me.
That’s why I never lend books or cds to anyone. People tend not to return them and have the dumbest excuses for it. The excuse that pisses me off most is, “Oh I lent it to so-and-so and they said they lost it.” WTF? There is so much wrong with that explanation that I have not the words.
Could be worse, maybe. I lent a dozen books to my friend’s son because they were on his school reading list. My name was in these books. She sold them at her garage sale.
One of my friends lent a really awesome skirt of hers with a dragon on it to her best gay friend (I hear it looked rather fetching on him). A few months later she goes over to his house, in his room, and what does she find? He had cut the dragon out of the skirt and hung it on the wall. ::grumble:: people…
I totally understand where you are coming from Lord Ashtar. I get very aggravated about this also. You shouldn’t have to ask. I am countlessly loaning out pens to other servers (I am a waitress), lighters that I never see again and even money. Being a server everyone thinks that you are Bank Of America and since payday is everday for you they figure you can’t say “I don’t have the money”. I have a fellow friend who is a bartender that loaned another server $100 to help her pay for her car insurance. It was a loan. The girl said she would pay her back, that was 3 months ago. That same girl can sit at the bar and has the money to drink beer but can’t pay her debt to the bartender. That pisses me off. It’s just plain wrong.
I do have to tell you about what happened last week. I’ll try and make it short. Hubby had company picnic. One of the co-workers friend of a friend of a friends son had broke out in welts fast. The kids were trying to catch tadpoles when one of the moms noticed he was getting unusually red. They got him out of the water, he was cold and they needed a blanket. We had one in the car. A Harry Potter blanket I had got as a gift from a friend last christmas. We loaned it to them and I really didn’t think I would see it again. I was just trying to think of an excuse to tell my friend on why I no longer had the blanket if it never showed back up. Well we did get it back and 6 days later. I was very shocked to say the least. And very thankful.
Look at it this way~ I never loan more than I can afford to lose.
I learned my lesson when I loaned a my copy of The Wall to a guy I knew and got it back a month later all scratched up. I don’t loan nuthin’ to nobody.
Gee. I must live among the golden elite of the world:
My neighbor and I swap garden equipment all the time: I have a string trimmer & hedge clippers, they have a rototiller and leaf blower. Both of us use promptly and return right away. Weird, huh?
I occasionally lend lunch money to coworkers…and they pay me back the next payday. Whoa, shocking!
I loaned some “interview” type suits to my SIL. She kept them for a couple of months (until she landed a job) and then she brought them back – freshly drycleaned, mind you – plus she gave me a couple of knit shells she’d bought that went perfectly with them. Amazingly strange, yes?
I dunno. If your ‘friends’ abuse your generosity, you need to find new friends.
I lend books to my friend all the time–but I know they’ll come back all bent up and with pages turned down and the like. I only let her borrow books I don’t mind that happening to. (And she’s gotten into the habit of tucking a dollar into them when she gives them back, to pay for damages. Her idea entirely.)
I’ve stopped loaning books since they never come back without a reminder at the very least. There’s one book I loaned out that I know the person lost but won’t cop to. So now, whenever I see this person all I can think is that she’s a liar and a thief. It’s just easier on friendships and my pocketbook not to loan a damn thing to anyone.
Uh oh… I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I lent stuff to people and never got things back (or in the case of books, sometimes in a very used shape. Case in point it’s not a good idea to read someone else’s book when you’re on the beach and don’t have a clue about the tide).
On the other hand, when I borrow stuff from someone else, I sometimes forget to give them back. So I am one of these people that - most of the time - only give things back, when specifically asked about it. It’s not because I am mean, but because of my bad memory. Nowadays, I have a specific place for borrowed stuff, so when I am done with things, I put them there and so the odds of people getting things back in time are actually better…
I always give a full disclaimer to the people that I still lend things on ocasion. It pisses me off to no end to have to ask them back so I make it very clear from the start, with a deadline. The bad thing is they rarely give a shit. The good thing is I never lend then a damn thing again.
My neighbor is like this also. Although, he’ll let me borrow his tools/equipment/whatever, which I return as soon as I’m done, and in as good, if not better shape, whenever he borrows something from me, after a few months, I’ll ask him if he’s done with it. His usual response is “do I still have that? It’s around here somewhere” and then proceeds to look around for it, but of course it’s lost in the mess he calls a garage. Nowadays, I just tell him whatever’s either broke, or lost.
I also hate to loan things out to people, either because I’ll never get it back, or it will come back damaged.
A friend of mine borrowed my Star Wars trilogy video set (before PM and AotC were released). It came as a boxed set. When he returned the set the box was all mangled up, totally ruined. He also did the same thing to my copy of “The Bugs Bunny Movie”, except that the tape itself was damaged. It was hardly playable.
Dammit!
I won’t even count the number of things I will never see again because they were lost or “got stolen.” :rolleyes:
That’s why I no longer loan my CDs, DVDs or VHS tapes out to anyone anymore.
I have a chart on my wall thats made of a calendar. If you want to borrow something you sign it out and you have 2 weeks to bring it back or I call you and bug the hell out of you till I get said item back. I’m a major bitch and every one of my friends knows it so things get returned on time. I had a friend leave my videos in her car last summer and they got melted. She bought me new ones because I kept bitching about it. SHE no longer even ASKS to borrow anything…
