Hubby is still out of work

(By the way, I’m 36 weeks pregnant.)

Things are getting really tense at home, because my husband still hasn’t found a job (today is exactly 4 weeks from his last day at his old job), and they screwed up the schedule for his severance pay. As opposed to paying it out over time, like normal checks, they gave us one huge payment on Friday (for FOUR WEEKS of vacation time), so of course that screwed up the deductions, and we’re getting less money because of it He’s supposed to call them to bitch about it today, but he’s been so down this last week, I’m not sure he can do it properly (you all know what I mean!). It’s getting really really scary.

I know we haven’t been fiscally responsible (meaning, we have no savings), but nobody ever expects something like this. Talk about lesson learned - I get it! I’m trying really hard to not freak out too much or too often, but last night it just got to be too much to think about, and I started crying while we were trying to fall asleep (around 11:00) and didn’t actually get to sleep until 2:30 or 3:00. I’m on anti-depressants as it is, and these hormones sure don’t bolster my mental stability. But, I had to be here at work at 9:00, so I was back up at 7:30. Baby decided to sit on my sciatic nerve last night, so walking is painful, and I think I’ve started to have a few random contractions. Gee, I wonder WHY???

Our worst case scenario is sell or rent out the house and move in with his parents. I love my in-laws, and we lived with them for a month two years ago when we were buying this house, but this is not what I had in mind for the beginning of our life as parents! I would prefer to just rent out our house for 6 months or a year so that we don’t have to screw around with selling and then buying again when we’re back on our feet. Besides, I work for a residential property management company, so I know who would take care of it for us if we decided to rent it out.

No point, not even a rant … just trying to get it out of me 'cause holding it in is too tough anymore.

My heart goes out to you Avarie537.

You may want to check to see if your area has an affordable housing program. Since your husband is unemployed and a baby is on the way, you may qualify for many helpful programs: WIC, food stamps, etc. (I’m assuming you’re in the U.S.A.)

I know accepting “charity” is hard, but think of it as a way to help your child while you and your husband get back on your feet.

Hand in there!

Thanks, Mouse. I know all about the different assistance programs that are out there - I work for a property management company that primarily deals in lower income housing, so I’ve called 'em all. Honestly, it would probably be easier to just move in with Mom and Dad - those government hoops are a PITA to jump through. And unfortunately, while he isn’t working, he was laid off as opposed to fired, and his severance pay hasn’t run out yet. So, he doesn’t qualify for unemployment yet, and I’m still working. (After April 28, this may be a different story.) At the very least, we won’t go without a place to stay and food to eat. Plus, his employer is paying their portion of the provided insurance through the end of May. So, we’ve got a tiny bit longer to rely on that.

I can tell hubby is getting desperate - he’s been applying for sales jobs. He hasn’t worked in sales since 1999, because the stress of his last job was making him outrageously depressed. He’s in a much better personal situation now, but he hates sales.

Him being laid off is bad enough, but the timing couldn’t have been worse!

Avarie, with a few small differences, I am right there with you…I don’t usually do the hug thing, but it sounds like you could use one {{{{}}}}}.

I’ve had a couple of rough days lately, and came pretty close to a breakdown on Friday. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but just know that I completely understand how you’re feeling.

Seriously, anytime you need to chat, my email’s always open.


Avarie, I know how hard it can be… I hate being unemployed, no matter how big the piggy - it always looks tiny. And I’ve had times when it was nonexistant.

Come and complain to us any time you want. My MSN is in the profile.

I’m with everyone else. I feel for ya, hon. My dad was a contractor and would get laid off after the end of all his projects. Mom was an amazing spendthrift…no matter how much he made, she’d fly through it, and STILL manage to not pay the bills on time. That led to me being home alone with no electricity many a time.

And, like everyone else, my email is in the profile if you need to rant.

Having no idea what state you live in, I can’t speak to the specific rules that might apply, but here in California there’s a waiting period of 2 weeks after applying for unemployment compensation before they start paying benefits, so the best thing to do is apply for it at least 2 weeks before the severance runs out, so that you don’t miss a single day.

Also, I cannot stress enough how beneficial doing temp work would be – either in an office type environment doing customer service, data entry or even just filing, or warehouse/“light industrial” work. First of all, it gives you a reason to get up and get out of the house. Having something to do and someplace to go is an enormous spirit-lifter, even if it’s not your preferred line of work. The other obvious benefit is the income it would bring in – even if it’s not what you’re used to, it’s almost certainly more than unemployment if he works full weeks. A seemingly inconsequential benefit is that it fills your resume so there isn’t a huge gap there when future potential employers are deciding if they want to hire you (plus the benefit that it shows future employers that you’re flexible and willing to work!).

But another HUGE benefit is the networking he can do. Every job I’ve ever gotten has come to me through temping; either the company offered to hire me full-time for the position I was filling in for, saw my work and offered me a position in my area, or they referred me to people they knew who were hiring.

I wish you the best of luck!

Avery I don’t know the rules in your state but I know in NJ severence pay does not affect when you can file for Unemployment. I know this because I work for UI. If you haven’t already checked with your state’s UI (and don’t go by what the job says) I’d check. If you want to E-mail me I’ll look up your states regulations.


Yeesh, Kytheria, you chasing me around these boards tonight?

Beg pardon?

Almost every thread i posted in earlier tonight, you’ve posted in.
It’s almost getting creepy…is that you out by my trash cans with the camcorder!!!
if so…be sure to get the left side…it’s the better side, ya know

Right. Of course. Sure thing.

The nice men in white coats will be along shortly, they’re perfectly friendly…


I know this isn’t the Pit, but fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

All three of the companies he’s interviewed with were supposed to get back to him by Friday. So, of course, none of them did. He’s called all three of them today. Two of the positions have already been filled, and the third contact person is out on vacation until 4/10, which doesn’t sound promising. I suggested that he call that guy back and just try to reach an operator or something, but I think he’s almost afraid to call. And I can’t blame him.

I was really trying not to cry, but it’s not working. This sucks.

I hope I can make this “read” right, because I sure don’t want to send the wrong message, especially coming from someone whose religion is now only practicing The Golden Rule. (Used to be Catholic).

This in no way compares to your situation, but recently my son (who has really screwed up his life to the point where his mother and I could no longer help) found himself in a situation where he was totally homeless, and I recommended he find a church as close to his beliefs as possible and turn to them for help.

He did this, and he found a very good person who gave him another chance and he now has a job and a roof over his head. He is once again making his child support payments, and although he isn’t knocking down “the big bucks” he has a better opinion of himself, and the church (a non-denominational one) isn’t asking for anything but for him to try to help someone else at some point.

Again, please don’t take offense at this suggestion, but no matter what your beliefs are, I think the best people who can help are often those who follow the teachings of that higher power, and their reward for helping is not a materialistic one, but just the knowledge that they have done something good for another human being.

You are in my thoughts.


Thanks for the suggestions, Quasi (and your email).

Interestingly enough, Hubby was going to call someone who does charity work through a church to see if he had any leads. Pastor Bob collects old but still useful computers from businesses and gets them refurbished and into the hands of those who need them. So, Hubby figures he might have some connections or suggestions, or maybe just a shoulder to lean on for an hour or so.

I didn’t wake him up this morning, and that’s only the second time I’ve let him sleep in since he got laid off (the first was the day immediately after he got the news). He didn’t come to bed until 3:30 AM and didn’t sleep well. So I figured I’d give him a break today.

I’m so sorry to hear of the problems you’ve been having. I hope and pray that tihngs will improve for you both, and soon! Stay strong and keep your chin up - and remember, always, that there are plenty of Dopers who are pulling for you, too. :slight_smile:

When my dad was between jobs years ago, he worked construction. He was lucky in that he just jumped in with his brother, who owned a company, but it may not be hard to find construction work. Pay is better than just temping, and contractors are always looking for responsible people who will show up and put in a full day working a nail gun or laying tile - my uncle STILL has trouble finding responsible help. The season is good for it.

Sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way.

Well, his brother works for a landscaping company, and one of his uncles does something construction-y (or maybe it’s propane - I dunno). We’ll talk when I get home.