IANAD but I agree. The hospital should be keeping the family updated on the patient’s condition. That’s a reasonable expectation.
Best of luck and hoping your husband has a full recovery soon.
No matter how reasonable the expectation, what should happen and what does happen are two different things. Sometimes, happily, they coincide. Sometimes they overlap a little. Sometimes they are miles apart. But this is a situation where the consequences of a miscalculation on the part of the reasonable person might have a dire outcome.
Therefore it is also reasonable for the primary family member to be proactive and assertive in seeking out answers to questions. And yeah, I’ve been scolded by nurses, and sighed at by doctors, but I’ve also been told I saved my husband’s life on a couple of occasions by taking steps that the staff should have been taking but were not.
(Once in the days before cell phones, I went to a pay phone and called my H’s PCP and reported what was not being done by the nurses. Within 30 mins the doc showed up and moved my H to the CCU. You won’t be sorry you spoke up, but you might be very sorry that you didn’t.)
Also excellent advice. Especially the WRITE THINGS DOWN and always GET A NAME-first and last-and also their role, nurse, tech, resident, etc. Be sure to also note the TIME XXX person told you YYY.
People get more thorough and careful when things and names are being written down.
As my title says, cranky night nurse of 45 years experience.
Another grizzled veteran of the patient advocate wars. I can’t say it any better or more thoroughly than @ThelmaLou did.
I will add one micro-suggestion.
Be there as much as practical, talk to everyone who interacts w your patient. Write down what’s said, and if you ever think of a question or concern you have, immediately write that down too. So you can bring it up it 30 minutes later when [whoever] breezes in in a big hurry and you’re struggling to recall what that was you wanted to ask about before they zip off to their next patient.
Best wishes. My father survived a bout of sepsis that his doctors thought would kill him. He was a doctor, and his colleagues literally came visiting to pay their final respects as he lay there unconscious. But it’s terrifying and not everyone makes it.
And it helps keep you organized, and helps you remember whether you’ve asked all the questions you wanted to ask.
Yes, they should have told you the diagnosis. But they make mistakes. They think someone else told you. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer it took several days for anyone to tell him. (We learned it from his chart, not from his doctors.) Oh! If you can, get your own access to your husband’s “my chart” info. If he’s conscious he can share that with you through the app.
Hoping everything works out OK.
Medical issues and hospitals can be stressful.
Thank you all for the wishes and advice. He’s marginally better today. Slightly more awake still can’t talk much at all. Although there seemed to be a bit more clarity in his eyes. He’s on bi-pap with oxygen so talking to him is difficult. We’re waiting for the nurse to talk to us. We have to leave at around 5-5:30. Driving in the dark for me is a chore because of dry eye and my son doesn’t have a license. We have eaten, but I know I’m exhausted like I haven’t slept. And I have fairly well for 2 nights running. This whole thing is stressful and exhausting.
A couple years ago he went off his Sinemet (parkinson’s meds) for a few days and became non-responsive. His eyes were open, he would sit up, but didn’t talk, didn’t respond to being spoken to. In the hospital they started him back up on Sinemet and by the next day he was sitting in a chair and responding to questions. He was still a little fuzzy, but that wore off quickly. I keep hoping that’s the case when we come to see him. Not so much though. He’s either sleeping or his eyes are open, and he can’t seem to speak. 
Also, bring a tray of treats to the nurses’ station now with a card that includes your thanks and both of your names. I include an assortment of cookies, gluten-free cookies, cashews, and dried fruit. It’s an appreciation, and also helps the staff to think lovely thoughts about you and him.
This is a great idea.
I believe I did something similar years ago when my father was in the hospital long term.
By “we” you don’t mean you and your husband, do you? Please confirm he’s staying in the hospital for now.
I think she meant her son.
I feel for you @Sylvanz, so much, I can’t tell you.
It is so hard on caregivers and healthier spouses when these things happen. Really you’ve got to take care of yourself.
Try to keep a steadier schedule about eating and rest periods.
Don’t try to spend the night in the hospital. I’ll tell you from the patients side I’d rather my family would go home and eat and sleep normally at home. So I send them packing.
Don’t bring the kids or any side visitors. I always hate that. I knew when I was better when I wanted the kids to visit.
Sending positive vibes your way.
I’m sending positive thoughts!
I had a long post almost done and lost it.
I am eating and sleeping at home as I don’t sleep well away. It’s as normal as it’s gonna get for a while.
No kids in ICU IMHO.
The grandkids don’t know how sick he is right now. Daughter’s call.
I thought of you, Beck, when I found out he has some kidney damage that may or may not reverse. Doc said we are a long way from worrying about dialysis. No idea if I spelled that correctly.To tired/lazy to look it up.
Thank you for all the good advice. I try to listen to those who have gone before me.
Again, thanks for all the, vibes, thoughts, and good wishes. I am thankful for my imaginary friends.
We’re not imaginary, we’re real and we’re sending real good wishes !
Hope it all goes well.
Thank you all my real live friends. 
He was better today. He could talk to us a bit and wanted to watch the Olympics then baseball, but that doesn’t start until the 20th. He was asking something and it took us a while to figure out what. He wanted us to take him home.He was pretty pissed when I told him he had to stay. The nurse tonight said he did speak a bit tonight. He knew it was February and that he was in the hospital, and said his name when asked. It’s very hard to understand him, but he’s getting there slowly.
That feels like wonderful progress, Sylvanz! Continued good thoughts and positive energy to him, and to you.
Glad to hear it.