Human Nature is Inherently Stupid

The college I teach at is chock full of students. When classes let out, the hallways are packed with people moving as fast as possible. And everyone walks on the right side (probably due to 'murican cars driving like that). But once in a while you get one person trying to thread their way through the wrong side (and I swear, sometimes with a confused look on their face, like “Huh, why is everyone else moving quickly except me?”).

I can’t help it, I raise an eyebrow and sometimes an index finger and say in my Bad Jeep’see Accent: “In deese country, is walking on right hand side, handy yes?”

I don’t know how they did the test, but there could be a factor of safety there. If there is a car there, you do need to be more careful, even if the car is stopped.

I’ve had this happen many times. On a normal day I’ll just say “excuse me”. But sometimes if I’m feeling ornery I’ll just stand there and wait to see how long it takes these oblivious creatures to notice the world around them. Generally when they notice, they move their carts or themselves with profuse apologies, but on at least one occasion a haughty matron pointedly said something to her companion about “some people” being so rude as to not know how to say “excuse me”. You and your pals and paraphernalia are blocking the aisle yakking with complete lack of consideration for everybody else in the store, while I stand there quietly, and I’m the one being rude?

I have a solution for this, to prevent any perception of rudeness the next time this happens. I’ll just carry one of these.

I’m tempted to carry a whoopee cushion, and I’d blow it to get their attention before saying “excuse me”.