I hadn’t watched Wizard of Oz since I was a kid. I was watching it for the first time since then with my kids a few years ago…
Dorothy and the Straw Man are trying to talk to the Tin Man.
Straw Man: What’d he say?
Doroghy: Oil can.
Straw Man: Oil can what?
I fell out of my chair.
Another vote for Eddie Izzard, this time the “Tea and cake, or death?” routine from Dressed to Kill.
And a Bugs Bunny moment, from a cartoon which is probably banned now for racial insensitivity: Bugs confronts a aborigine/bushman type character, armed with a spear. The bushman screams at him, “UNGA BUNGA BUNGA!”
Bugs screams right back, “UNGA BUNGA BUNGA!”
Madder, the bushman screams, “OONGA BOONGA BOONGA!”
Bugs screams “OONGA BOONGA BOONGA!” in reply.
Bushman:" UNGA BUNGA BUNGA!"
And now, Bugs slowly, calmly, and deliberately, not screaming at all, and pointing a finger for emphasis: “Unga … bunga … unga … bunga … bunga … boonga … bunga!”
Which so infuriates the bushman that he screams and runs in circles… while Bugs looks at the camera and says, “What’d I say? What’d I say?”
Hilarious.
I’ll have to give some more props to Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
I’ll always laugh at the Dumber Dolls episode no matter how many times I’ve seen it. It is so WARPED.
Frylock: That’s it! I’m going back to the store and getting a fun doll!
Happy Time Harry: Hey, while you’re there, can you pick up a Happy Fun Time Dialysis machine?
Frylock: You have to use a DIALYSIS MACHINE?
Happy Time Harry: Yeah, I had to have half my liver removed. I’m not supposed to drink, but…I…still…do…
In another episode, Shake (my favorite cartoon voice ever) gets mad at Frylock and starts screaming "You and your quasi-intelligent biffle biffle biffle biffle biffle! And you know what pisses me off? YOU GET AWAY WITH IT!!!"
I first read these a looooong time ago in an Art Linkletter book along with a whole bunch more that were just as funny, but this little batch is still making making the email rounds, and I still love them:
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The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers.
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Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was a actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth. Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out “Same to you, Brutus.”
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don’t really understand. The English and French still have problems.
Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen,” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented Cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don’t know why.
Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God’s days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don’t get it.
Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did.Other women have become scientists since her but they didn’t get to find radios because they were already taken.
My Boss’s boss (who is town to evaluate our performance) just walked in on me laughing my head off and tearing up because of the News Radio link. Thanks a lot. He was amused too (mainly because I am the most serious person at this office and I hardly ever even crack a smile).
I have two others:
I’m not much into slapstick but there is a clip circulating from an Austrailian children’s TV show in which a kangaroo repeatedly puts the beat down on some poor schlub dressed up in a dinosaur costume. Something about the absurdity of the situation makes it one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
Also, a story from George Burns: he and Jack Benny were best friends and George was famous for being one of the only people who could make Jack laugh. They were together at a fancy charity ball of some sort and were given front row seats to watch a famous singer perform a very moving song. They walked in and were seated in front of the large crowd - the orchestra tuned up and the singer took the stage. In that small moment of silence before she uttered her first notes George leaned over to Jack and whispered: “It would be very rude if when she begins to sing you were to start laughing hysterically.” The rest is history.
gasp Thank you! I’d forgotten about Trigger Happy TV!
I love the little bit where Death is standing near a business entrance across from four business men. Death is standing there with his sickle, staring at the men. They all give him nervous, quick glances that easily interpret as, “It can’t be real…it just can’t…can it?” Death glances at his watch, then looks back at them. They shuffle and try to look anywhere else.
Priceless.
And the random people in the elevators…ah…I miss the good moments from that show.
Even better was Mulder’s speech about Unsolved Mysteries unsolved mysteries
I was laughing so hard at that, I had tears streaming down my face. Especially when the killer whale sounded off.
Then, a few weeks ago, I was watching the X-Files ep Grotesque at like 2 in the morning and Mulder starts speechifying. Jaime was asleep beside me…or so I thought…and about halfway through the speech, Jaime made the killer whale sound. It sounded exactly like it did on the Simpsons.
Maybe you had to be there, but it cracked my shit up.
Yesterday I watched MSt3K: The Wild World of Bat Woman. It was painful on many, many levels. So when Tom SErvo started shouting “ENNNNDDDD! ENNNNNDDDDDDD!” it was the funniest shit I heard all night. From the “Cheaters” short at the beginning
“Did Johnny intentionally mislead his teacher?”
Crowe: Or is he just pure evil?
Me: Just last night, my husband told me he TiVo’d something for me and I had to guess what it was. I thought it was a joke and that he was saying he taped something that I really needed to see, so I started guessing things I’m not good at: “How to Cook”, “How to Clean”, “How to give Blow Jobs”. He asked me what channel that last one would be on and I said (just thinking of some random ‘how to’-type of channel, “The Do It Yourself Network”. It took me a good 2 minutes to realize just how funny that was. As soon as I realized it, I screamed "OH MY GOD…DOOOO…IIIIIIT…YOOOOOURSEEEEEELF!" I couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard! Damn, I’m funny! 
Eddie Izzard (again). A line from a British version of an action movie: “It’s the Germans…they’re here.” That whole bit had me gasping for air.
Years ago, I saw my first MST3K movie. Of course, I can’t remember the title, but there was this guy who was sitting up on an operating or examining table and he looked like he had a lobotomy. As soon as they showed the “retarded” (or the more PC “mentally deficient”) look on his face, one of them said, “I like mittens!” and it just had me rolling. It was the combination of the look on the guy’s face and the funny way he said “I like mittens” that did it. I was hooked from that point on.
From “The Catalina Caper” episode of MST3K: Guy barfing over the side of a boat. Another guy with a transister radio to his ear bumps into him.
“Hey, you got puke on my radio!”
“Yeah, well you got radio in my puke!”
As sub-brow as “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey” was, it was a butt-guster in many spots. One gag sets up with B&T watching a “Star Trek” re-run showing Kirk, destitute on an alien world, scrambling up a distinctive rock formation. Later, they are lured into the California desert by the “evil robot usses” and killed atop…the very same rock formation.
Predictibility is usually poison to comedy, but even though you can see the “even if they do say ‘Jehova’” line from “Life of Brian” coming a mile away, it’s still just about the most hilarious moment in cinema, IMHO.
But I’ll place it second to the mirror scene in “Duck Soup”, although the pushcart scene with Harpo wading in the lemonade is right up there.
Lastly, although I realize this makes me a cultural elite who hates America, the campfire scene is not my favorite scene from “Blazing Saddles”.
I read this over an hour ago. After it popped into my head as I was sitting here at my desk, I almost spittled on my monitor, trying to contain my laughter:
Phase 42:
I’ve seen this movie at least 25 times, why don’t I remember this line at all?
Chris Rock’s Bigger and Blacker. Again, something I’ve seen at least 20 times and it only gets funnier. This past Saturday night I fell into bed, barely coherant from exhaustion and caught the last 20 minutes of B & B. By the end of it I was totally full of adrenaline from laughing and ended up staying awake for hours.
Another stand up – Bill Cosby, Himself. When he’s describing what it’s like to have children. It wasn’t as funny to me as a teenager, and now that I’m having my first it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
The old Jeopardy skits from Saturday Night Live, especially when Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds and Darrel Hammond as Sean Connery.
Alex Trebek: Let’s just go with Foreign Flicks for $800. [Connery buzzes in]
Sean Connery: Ursula Andress.
Alex Trebek: What?
Sean Connery: Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo, twice.
Alex Trebek: That’s Foreign Flicks, Mr. Connery.
Alex Trebek:Let’s see what you wagered Mr. Connery: Me. Below Me. Below Me…I don’t get it.
Sean Connery: Oh, I’ll bet you do, you Canadian ponch.
Oh I forgot one more! The “Lassie” scene in Porky’s with a very young (and brunette) Kim Cattrall and the young coach in the locker room. I swear I laugh like a mental patient through the whole scene.
We grilling tonight. I had to watch that episode like five times just to figure out what Meatwad was saying there.
Winnie, that line is from Clerks the animated series. Hilarous.
Nutty Bunny, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank starring Raul “My Nuts” Julia and “a Grey in a Wig.”
It’s from the (very) short-lived animated series. It’s a sight gag gag borrowed from a Looney Tune someplace. Just like in that cartoon, Dante and Randall are sneaking into a building. They skulk onscreen from below, walking up the side of the building while hanging from a rope. There’s dramatic skulky music. They take a few steps up. Then the middle of the rope goes slack, and Dante says “Why are we walking like this?” Then the screen rotates 90 degrees and you see that they are just walking normally - except that they were walking along a rope for no reason. In the series’s six episodes, they must’ve made that joke half a dozen times.
Damn, that show was funny. I liked the fact that their first episode was a ‘flashback’ episode - although the flashbacks never went anywhere. And “That’s cold, Obi-Wan.” And the entirety of the Temple of Doom spoof episode. And the chief government agent who yells at the top of his voice into his communicator - with his colleagues falling next to him, deafened by the noise.
Surely no one else will mention Eddie Izzard, right?
Okay, I will. 
The whole “cake or death” thing gets me every time. I also laugh at the way he says, “Have they got a flag?”
I’ve got an MST3K Shorts DVD. That one is great, although the first one - about women going to college - is probably funnier.
Narr.: As the gang goes off to the train station to say their goodbyes-
Crow: …And to re-enact the last scene from Anna Karenina…
And then there’s the laugh-fest that is MST3K’s savaging of Cave Dwellers, a 1984 Miles O’Keeffe vehicle. My favorite bit is near the end when Ator (O’Keeffe) has, improbably - incredibly, staggeringly improbably - made a hang-glider for himself and is using it to fly into a castle. The scene of Ator soaring majestically in his thong is unforgettable. It’s much too long, and the boys start singing along with the score. I just found it online:
Ator flies, and so does my heart
In his kite made of string and sticks and bamboo
I fly along with you
I go along for the ride.
I’m not stupid like the rest of them.
Ator, Ator my sweet friend.
Oh, and the other thing that makes me laugh about the MST3K Cave Dwellers episode is this: at the end, Joel and the bots tell Dr. Forrester that this is the worst movie he’s ever shown them. About a year and a half later, a little movie called Manos came along…
“How much Keefe?”
“Miles O’Keefe!”
Miles wrote a letter to the show after this episode aired. He was able to see the humor (unlike Joe Don “Think you can take me? Go 'head on” Baker) and was a good sport about the whole thing.
They were all smoking. It was the door they stood outside to smoke. It was a great bit.
Here’s one I remember from an old issue of National Lampoon – a “Dirty Duck” cartoon by Bobby London. Dirty Duck is sitting at a typewriter, writing a letter to a magazine or book publisher, I forget which, that is collecting sexual fantasies. Near as I can remember, it goes like this:
Still cracks me up every time I remember it.