Hah. Good thing he wasn’t a proctologist.
A neighbor, years back, owned a Porsche with this vanity plate:
“CUZICUD”. ('cause I could)
Used to see “My other car is a Porsche” stickers on old bangers … the only
time it was funny was when I saw it on the back of a Porsche !
Warning
This machine does not know the difference between metal and flesh, nor does it care.
A friend from back home in West Virginia suggested a local version:
“My other car’s a porch”
Regular patrons were used to it.
Seen this morning in the 1940 documentary Eyes of the Navy, at the parachute training building:
IT DON’T MEAN A THING
IF YOU DON’T PULL THAT STRING
When my best friend in high school – very Italian – bought his first car, a Chevy Malibu, the first thing he did was slap on that bumper sticker:
Mafia Staff Car: Keep-a you hands off-a!
A girl I knew at college had a bumper sticker: “Illiterate? Write for Help”.
Ring, ring
“Urology department, can you hold?”
Seen at a skydiving venue:
That mightn’t have been the first time he’d heard that joke. On that day.
Saw vanity plate on a red Maserati (or such) as we each parked in the B&N parking lot- CURVEDOC
Being a vanity plate aficionado & photograph taker, I asked him, at the B&N café, “Saw your car tag. Back surgeon, right?” “No, breast implants.” Almost dropped my latté!
I posted a question here, a few years ago, trying to locate this sign:
To me, it looked like someone giving birth on the roadway.
(the sign basically says “look out for children, they might be your own”)
I knew someone that (rumor had it) has/had a bumper sticker with “My other vehicle is on Mars”
Whenever I see the sign “Drive like your children live here” I get tempted to add a sign “Live like your children drive here”.
I have a sign that says, “Drive like your pets live here.”
There is a house up the street that has that sign up occasionally. Some night I want to add “and you like them” to it.
What? cowering inside, surrounded by large, immovable objects that will stop any out-of-control vehicle? 
Many years ago, when I was living in NYC, there was an article in the NY Times about a car that had lost control and plowed into the wall of a well-known restaurant. IIRC, there were no serious injuries. I took my copy of Zagat’s Guide, opened it to the relevant page, and wrote “New! Porch Seating!!!” and handed it to a co-worker.
Picture taken at a bird park in St Martin. They provide you with cups of seed on a post. As you walk around birds fly over and land on your cup. The birds prefer the big sunflower seeds, but will eat the smaller seeds as well.
There is a sign that is not meant as a joke, “PLEASE DO NOT SPILL YOUR SEED ON THE GROUND”. I laughed.
Sign over men’s room mirror in a bar:
“Now you know why you always go home alone.”