Humping Giant Robots

The Game Room
1

My wife was nagging me the other day about playing video games too much. This past week, I was playing through the scenarios for Supreme Commander again, but this time on “hard” difficulty level (Supreme Commander is like StarCraft mixed with MechWarrior.) I have already played through all 3 races in all scenarios already, so this is my 4th time through.

I also am playing through MechCommander Gold again as well. I play through all the missions at least once per year, sometimes more. MechCommander is like Mechwarrior but at the squad level.

Right after high school, I spent a ton of time playing Cyberball. I still have Cyberball on Mame and play it as often as I can (although not much since my sound card broke.) Cyberball is like American football but using giant robots instead of players.

As my wife was nagging me, I realized: what is it about giant robots that makes me keep coming back to the same games over and over? Am I strange? Is my perversion for giant robots unique, or do other people seem to enjoy fondling giant robots as much as I do?

2

Fortunately, the first mental image to come to mind for me for “humping giant robots” likens them to railroad cars, which is much more mentally palatable than the alternative.

3

Made me think of Robot Chicken. There’s a part where a (man-sized, not giant) robot humps a washing machine or dryer repeatedly. There’s also giant robots in the series, but I don’t think the twain meet.

You like giant robots because you are a 5-year old boy. That’s not a bad thing; it says you appreciate the finer things in life. The only think cooler is a Tyrannosaurus Rex in a mech suit.

4

Yes, I was debating whether to add (I Enjoy) Humping Giant Robots to avoid this confusion, but wanted the most flexibility in consecutive threads threads. :smiley:

No, no, the coolest is when 5 smaller giant robots combine to form a giant tyrannosaurus rex, and it wields a massive, phallus-like sword.

5

Voltron was cool, but I never wanted to hump him.

6

Maybe you’re Japanese. How do you feel about tentacles?

7

Uh, what about this? http://i.imgur.com/j5tMM.jpg (NSFW if your boss is a giant robot, I suppose)

8

Those are more fun, but I’d want a turn manipulating them.

9

I don’t get the tentacle fascination.

10

I’m not Japanese and I got bored of tentacles after like 30 minutes.

Maybe if it was a giant robot tentacle, I might be interested.

Seriously though, I dunno what it is about the robots…I just keep coming back to them over and over.

11

It’s a mixture of domination and being able to stuff every orifice full of squirmy goodness.

Typing that last sentence makes me feel like I need a shower.

12

They’re not allowed to look at penises, but 6 foot long green penises are A-OK.

13

Oh yes, and that too. It was originally a censorship work-around but has now mutated way beyond.

14

Right, but the fact that such a large audience decided that it was a great idea is just interesting.

15

Unfortunately, no.

16

So I’m playing through the MechCommander expansion pack right now, and this was the exchange between my wife and myself:

Her: What the hell is wrong with you?
Me: I love giant robots.
Her: Why don’t you get a model set or something? My brother and I used to enjoy putting those together when we were young.
Me: Why on earth would I want a tiny replica of a giant robot?

So, seeing as how the general consensus in this thread is that “something is wrong with you,” is my wife making a mistake in encouraging this as a hobby to me?

17

My advice is to scrub well and go watch The Iron Giant for the 479th time.