Which makes for the best relationships - man and woman have identical political views; opposite political views; or somewhere in between?
For example, is there anyone here who met their boyfriend/girlfriend while at a Communist Rally / Young Republicans Meeting / or whatever? If so, were the similar views a plus or a minus?
My wife and I both voted Obama. It was a no brainer, and made for good dinnertime conversations. Had she been adament about voting McCain I would have had to divorce her. Just kidding [honey] seriously, my wife can vote for or believe in any political ideology, it wasn’t a prerequisit to gettin hitched.
I will say it helps when you are of the same political persuasion.
My husband and I are polar opposites; he’s a conservative Republican, and I’m an extremely liberal Democrat. I can only think of about two political issues upon which he and I agree, and one is a very minor one. We just have lively and spirited dinner conversations!
I’m married to someone of the same political persuasion as me, and I assume it’s somewhat easier. Given how polarizing politics can be, seems nice not to have built-in disagreements when everyday life will give you enough to disagree on from time to time. Mostly, though, I think it depends on how well-informed each person is.
I’d much rather debate a well-informed polar opposite than someone who disagrees with me more mildly but with less knowledge.
Honestly, I think it’s how deeply you hold your politics and how involved you are in them. For someone who considers themselves left-of-center but thinks politics is an annoying talking shop, it might be easy to get along well with an arch-conservative. For someone like me, however, it’s a deal-breaker from the get-go.
I’m an outright anarchist. The lovely nocturne on the other hand is a social democrat. Both left sure, but one of us is substantially further left than the other
I can’t recall any woman in a relationship with me having a strong political opinion. I don’t know what to say about that but they certainly were not stupid. Maybe I just gravitate to non political women.
Mr. Athena was a fairly conservative Republican when I met him; I’m a fairly liberal Democrat. That was almost twelve years ago.
He’s a liberal Democrat now. I win! 
I suspect that it’s not so much the difference in politics as the amount of respect between the people in politics. If you don’t respect the other person’s politics, even while disagreeing with it, that may be a symptom of not respecting the other person’s other beliefs…
I’ve been married 3 times. #1 was a disinterested Republican. #2 was a party-line Democrat. #3 is a surly Independant.
I’m a radical bleeding-heart Left-wing capitalist gun owner.
#1 and I got along okay but divorced because we were immature brats who shouldn’t have been allowed to cross the street by ourselves, much less get married. Politics have nothing to do with the failure of the marriage.
#2 was a nutjob idiot who didn’t understand the postions he held, even though he agreed with me. Politics have nothing to do with the failure of the marriage.
#3 (Giant Freakin Marine) is often much more and less liberal, depending on the issue, than I. We rarely argue about the subject, but often discuss the reasons for our different opinions, and even occasionally turn the other to the dark side:p Politics have nothing to do with the success of the marriage.
Respect for each others opinions counts more than the opinions, IME.
It definitely depends on the people involved and the extent to which they value being right, or not respecting the other person’s beliefs. I’ve posted on here before that someone that I was intending to marry (and move 2000 miles to be with) dumped me over our political differences. I thought that our discussions were lively and heated, but always civil and respectful. However, he apparently was of a different opinion.
Since our break-up, some of the things he’s written and said on other sites have led me to believe that he does not respect people who disagree with his political views, so a relationship with him would not have worked.
It’s all about the respect.
Yup. I’m a flaming liberal, and I’ve had relationships with people who run the political gamut. The successful ones were with people who arrived at their positions through thoughtful consideration, and were respectful of the fact that I had as well. I have much more respect for a well-informed conservative than for a knee-jerk liberal.
Disagreeing with someone is not a dealbreaker. Finding someone’s intellect or integrity suspect is a dealbreaker. And in my experience, people of good intellect and integrity can disagree respectfully, argue honestly, and even - gasp - *learn *stuff from each other. What’s hotter than that?
Mrs. Napier and I are both pretty liberal. We watch lots of political talk shows. We have enjoyed getting indignant together for the last 8 years and even moreso enjoyed this election tremendously. We often reflect together on how much we enjoy sharing our politics.
I have friends, coworkers and acquaintences whose political views are very different from mine, and I find myself always checking myself in conversation to avoid getting into topics that we’ll probably disagree about.
For both these reasons I think having similar political views is a big plus, at least in the case where we care about our politics.
In my own experience, it depends a lot more on their level of interest in politics than on the specific direction. I am reasonably actively involved in party politics in Canada, and I find I get along a lot better with other people who are actively involved, regardless of what party they’re in. Of course, party politics in Canada are mighty confusing these days.
I’m a Green (provincially), and federally I am unaffiliated but I pay close attention. My boyfriend is a Liberal (as are a number of my good friends) and I love him anyway. I met him through a mutual friend who I met when she was a Green, and who is now a Liberal.
I have had close friendships with members of the other two (historical, federal) parties, the New Democrats and the Progressive Conservatives. Since the PC party became the Conservative party (and moved righward), all of my “conservative” friends ended their affiliation with it. Many of these people would be Progressive Conservatives federally (if there was a federal PC party), or provincially, if the provincial PC leader was more inspiring. So at this point in time I am friends with conservatives, but no Conservatives.
However, my relationships with NDP and Conservative folks all share something important in common: we know that there are assumptions that we do not share, so there are conversational areas where we must tacitly agree not to go. I could be friends, but not be in a long-term intimate relationship, with a person who had certain assumptions that I couldn’t respect (and vice versa).
In other words, in my experience, anyone I am in a serious relationship with must (a) be interested in politics and happy to talk to me about it, and (b) either be unaffiliated, or Green, or Liberal.
The most frustrating thing about politics is when someone assumes that everyone is exactly like them, therefore there’s nothing shocking or offputting about throwing political comments into every conversation. One of my brothers is this way. He’ll throw a jab at liberals into the most mundane conversation, as if there’s no possibility that anyone who can hear him could possibly be of any other mindset.
My husband isn’t like that, or I would have divorced him by now. We both ended up suddenly, passionately for Obama despite neither of us ever having that much interest in a political candidate before. It was fun to feel it together.
We’re pretty similar on most issues, although he is religious (Catholic) and I’m not. I actually don’t mind being a part of the church community for the most part, although I have to grit my teeth when the priest goes off on homosexality or pro-life issues.
I was sort of surprised that my husband was considering voting yes on Prop 8, here in CA. I don’t know if he actually went through with it. He is not against gays and lesbians having the rights of marriage, there was just something about the language issue that he objected to. I don’t get it myself.
To me it’s a number of things that all come out in the political discussions:
Tolerance for healthy debate - Ability to discuss opposing viewpoints respectfully and inquisitively vs. having to be ‘right’ or feeling everything is personal.
Level of engagement / interest - Some people are not as informed or engaged in politics as others.
Worldview - I’ve dealt with people who see the whole world through political us-vs-them eyes.
For me it would be important to have a partner who is calibrated similar to me on these three factors. It would be nice to think that the political leanings would be secondary, but in all honesty I think it would be more fun to spend time with someone who shared a good portion of my political philosophy.
I absolutely cannot imagine being married to someone who didn’t agree with me at least moderately about politics. But I guess that is because my life activities and career goals have a somewhat political slant. It would not be acceptable to marry, say, a social conservative, because so many of my loved ones are gay and I try to actively work toward gay rights advocacy. My identity as a liberal and as a social worker/volunteer are linked, and I choose social justice issues that tend to be associated with liberal ideology. So to be with a conservative would be difficult – I would feel my partner was actively fighting against my life’s work.
My husband and I are both very left-wing thinkers. Our political stance differs most on the issue of abortion, but other than that we find ourselves preaching to the choir a lot. It still generates a lot of interesting conversation. We try to transcend the narrow-minded black-or-white thinking that crops up in politics. Sometimes our discussions are really just about current events and keeping one another updated on what’s going on in the world. I really cherish that we see eye to eye on these issues. While I value hearing other perspectives, I don’t think I could handle it in a life partner.
Ehud Olmert (the Israeli PM) wife Aliza never voted for his party until he became PM and stood for election (The unlikely first lady | World news | The Guardian)
Cherie Blair routinely represented clients and espoused positions which went against her husbands, though since Barristers have to take a brief when offered; hard to tell.
Their marriages have done well.
In Pakistan at one time the President and Leader of the opposition were brothers.