I’m putting this here in hopes that it does not devolve into yet another Bush vs. Kerry thread, because this question is for dopers of any political persuasion.
How much of an effect would it have on your relationship if you felt your significant other was leaning toward voting for a different candidate than yours? Does politics play a part in your relationship? Or do you personally avoid talking politics with your SO?
It would make no difference to me. We do not specifically talk about politics often but it does come up from time to time. I think she is voting the way I am but I am not sure. I come from a family where your secret ballot is a secret.
It depends. I’m a Kerry supporter. I have a good number of friends who are Bush supporters - some of them I respect for that decision, others I absolutely don’t (including family members).
For instance, my friend Flicka is a hard-line conservative. He’s cultivating for a city council run next year in his district, he was involved in the RNC, he knows the candidates and their positions, and he believes in the conservative values of Bush. He and I have excellent discussions on politics, and we are (I like to believe) rational voters.
My step-father listens to fundamentalist Christian radio shows, and believes anything that comes down the pipe without any critical thinking. His concept of what Kerry believes in is so groundless, it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. He cannot tell you what either candidate stands for, other than “Kerry supports abortion and terrorists”. I cannot and will not respect such an approach to politics.
My g/f is doing just this very thing. These discussions quicky devolve into me preaching at her since her opinion is wrong and stupid. Ok, I’m just kidding, but my g/f thinks that Bush would be a better president than Kerry, and thinks my beloved Libertarians are crazy, so we leave this subject alone. I’ll drive with her to our polling place, and walk out with her when we’re done, because I love her and respect her as a person. Also, neither of the candidates have boobs, so, when it comes down to it, screw them.
I actually thought my husband was of a different political party than myself. I believed this for the first three years of our marriage. Turns out I was wrong, but (obviously) it makes no never mind to me.
I suppose if he were voting for a different candidate for reasons that really rubbed my morals the wrong way, it would be an issue, but I suspect we’d be having conflicts over those things even without politics.
Sorry, I realize this was regarding SOs, but I think what I said would apply (if I were to be dating someone). Political discussion is a big interest to me with my friends, and would be (and has been) with anyone I was serious with. An irrational belief in the opposite candidate (and to a lesser extent “my” candidate) would turn me off. I’ve dated on the other side of the aisle, so it’s not entirely theoretical.
My husband thinks he’s a Republican no matter how hard I try to convince him he’s not (I mean, come on, he’s pro-choice and thinks gay marriage should be legalized). He just says that because he thinks the Democrats want to take his guns away.
We’ve had some pretty heavy political discussions in our household, which finally led to the decision that we will both be voting for Kerry next Tuesday. Normally, I wouldn’t make such a big deal out of trying to change his mind … it didn’t bother me that much that he voted for Bush in 2000. But this time, I felt compelled to try to convince him to do otherwise. In any other election year, our political “debates” have been more good-natured disagreements.
I couldn’t be with someone whose political ideology was so different from my own. I think it would be a constant source of problems in the relationship. I also have a hard time being friends with people who fall on the wrong side of certain issues. I guess it comes down to wanting to be around people you like, rather than those you don’t. It’s everyone’s right to be on whatever side they choose, but I can’t be friends with someone whose ideals I so strongly disagree with.
It’s not like I can’t see other’s point of view, but I’m not going to be best buds with the communist I know or the staunch republicans in our social circle.
Fortunately, my fiance and I are in agreement with most of our politics, so all is well.
There have been some years in the past when I could have accepted an SO voting for the opponent of my choice, although usually not too happily. But this year is not one of them.
It’s not that I can’t tolerate disagreements with an SO. It’s that sometimes a choice of any kind (political, religious, whatever) can demonstrate that there is a fundamental disconnect between the way you think and feel and the way another person thinks and feels. The fact is, I have trouble even respecting someone who supports the opponent of my candidate this year. I certainly couldn’t love them, and if I thought I had, I’d have to believe that my prior understanding of my SO had been fundamentally flawed.
How would I know? We don’t discuss who we are voting for…although mrAru is miffed because when he ‘moved’ to connecticut last september after retiring from the Navy he forgot to register here…he is checking to see what he can do about it tomorrow…but there may be no voting luv for him this year=(
The vast majority of non-GD-inhabiting Dopers agree with some positions of both ideologies. I don’t think being pro-choice and pro-gay-marriage disqualifies anyone from self-identifying as Republican.
No, of course not. What I was trying to say (though obviously not very well) is that basically the only issue he agrees with the Republicans on is gun control. I just used his pro-choice and pro-gay marriage beliefs to show that he supports two major issues most die-hard Republicans I know disagree with.
I heard they’re predicting it to be a real horserace.
(Sorry, I had to)
As long as my SO was voting from an informed position, I would have no trouble with it at all. If she wasn’t informed on the issues, it would bother me but I would not castigate her for her choice, although I would nag at her for not studying the issues.
My husband and I are both voting for the same presidential candidate, as we have in the last 2 presidential elections (we met in 1996). However, we do tend to differ with the smaller, local races. Since I am an attorney, I know most of the candidates personally, and of course I think I know more about them than he does. We supported different candidates in the last judicial race, but he had good reasons for supporting the guy he supported (who ultimately won).
The DA's race is going to be contested and he wants to vote for the incumbent, just because the incumbent is a Democrat. I've voted Republican only once, against the same guy 4 years ago. I think I have valid reasons for voting for the challenger, and it makes me want to bitch-slap my husband that the only thing he can come up with in support of the incumbent is that he's a Democrat.I laughed at my wife 4 years ago when she told me she was supporting Bush. Now she understands why I laughed at her.
We’re both voting for Kerry this year.
My husband can’t vote; however, if he were able to and voted for someone other than my candidate of choice, that would be his business. Similarly, if anyone else in my family votes for someone else, it’s their decision. My mom is planning on voting for Bush - she agrees with Kerry on everything, yet because he is “weak,” she will vote for Bush. I completely disagree with her, and she knows it. Still, it’s not up to me to make decisions for her, and although I disagree with her on this, it would be stupid to allow that to be a dealbreaker in our relationship, and I think the same applies to my relationship with my husband.
I argue politics with my husband and my family all the time. My husband thinks very much like me regarding politics; however, he’s got a different perspective, and I like that. Of course, if his perspective were so completely different from mine - like if he thought that militant religions were a good thing, or wanted to get rid of women’s rights - things would probably be very different.
Not too hijack this thread an further, but as a self-identifying Republican, I am a little uncomfortable that these two issues are being used to define “Republican”. However, I can’t account for your personal experience.
Mister foxymoron is, as far as I know, voting against Kerry. I am voting against Bush.
I don’t understand his decision at all, and I think it will probably be a topic we don’t discuss further.
My wife and I both say we aren’t sure who we’re voting for, but that’s sort of nonsense. The truth is that it’s been destined since long before the campaign began that she’ll be voting for Mr. Kerry, whereas I’ll be voting for the good guy. We both enjoy political discussions, and reading up on stance on issues, etc., but when it really comes down to it, more of Mr. Kerry’s general philosophy agrees with hers than not, and likewise Mr. Bushes and mine.
It makes for standard jokes that get told every election. We could go out for dinner and ignore the election, since our votes cancel out, etc.
I can’t imagine a life as a few have described above where I’d eliminate as a potential mate or even potential friend someone who’s views differed from mine. Lack of tolerance is something the world can do without.
I don’t think there’s a “wrong” candidate because both men suck. Can anyone proudly wave their candidates banner without a niggling fear that he’s going to majorly fuck up in the next 4 years? Isn’t that really the reason we’re so testy lately? We’re all putting on a show of false bravado and acting like our man is the answer when we know that the best reason to vote for him is that we despise him slightly less than we despise his opponent.
Oh, but we talk the talk and act like we’re sooooo confident in our man. What a bunch of horseshit.
My husband will vote for a man whom my 12 year old could handily beat in a debate. I plan to vote for a man whose platform boils down to “I’m not George Bush.” Basically we’ll cancel each other out. Does this bother me? Not nearly to the degree that it bothers me that our choice is George W. Bush or John Kerry.