Pappa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don’t sing…
[sub]Take the next verse, please, and so on, etc… We’re making this up as we go along! The SDMB version of the song, the crazier, the better![/sub]
All I can think of is, “And never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head.”
Sorry. 
Papa’s gonna buy you some flashy bling bling.
And if that flashy bling bling don’t sparkle…
Papa’s going to buy you a night with wring.
And if that night with wring turns sour…
Papa’s gonna buy you a big lawn mower,
If that mower’s blades get dull …
You’ll have to listen to Martin Krull,
And if you think that he ain’t funny…
… Can Cher really sing without her Sonny …
And Bush really thinks that war is fine …
Let’s help ourselves to a glass of wine…
And if that wine makes us vomit…
We’ll freeze it in the tail of a comet,
And if that comet fades into space…
The kid’s gonna need a shrink at this pace…
And if the shrink charges us too much…
(And if the shrink charges us too much,)
We’ll have to sell off mama’s china hutch.
If mama gets mad and kicks us **out[/b[,
(And if the shrink charges us too much,)
We’ll have to sell off mama’s china hutch.
If mama gets mad and kicks us out,
(… preview is my friend, preview is my friend …)
We’ll go off and marry a lout,
And if that lout turns out to be a millionaire,
I’d still prefer Sonny without Cher.
And if that Sonny dude won’t share …
we’ll hit him over the head with a folding chair,
and if that folding chair is bust…
We’ll vacuum up all the dust.
And if the vacuum cleaner’s broke,
I’ll throw it in a vat of Cherry Coke
And if that vat of Coke runs over
We’ll move on out to the cliffs of Dover
And if those cliffs begin to crumble
If I stood there, I’d be a dumbell.
But if I think I have to move …
We’ll turn on some rap
And get a brand new groove