:smack: :smack: Last night, as I was telling my dog to Hush (she likes to bark a lot), I found myself singing to myself:
Hush little baby, don’t say a word.
Mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.
And if that mocking bird don’t sing
Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring don’t shine -
At which point I realized two things. One is that I couldn’t remember any more verses. :smack: The other was that a diamond ring is not exactly an appropriate gift for a baby.
So I started thinking - what kind of really inappropriate things could we give this baby if we put our collective minds to it?
So here’s the game. You come up with what Mama’s gonna buy, and a conditional for the next player. I’ll start off with a few examples, since I’ve had time to think about it.
And if that diamond ring don’t shine
Mama’s gonna buy you a jug of wine.
And if that wine don’t get you drunk
Mama’s gonna buy you a Pullman trunk.
And if that Pullman trunk don’t roll
Mama’s gonna buy you a barber’s pole.
And if that barber’s pole don’t spin
Mama’s gonna buy you -
The only threads I’ve started before this have sunk like a stone, so PLEASE play along?
and if that shiny boot don’t kick
momma’s gonna buy you a proper brick*
and if that brick then breaks your heart…
*Definitions of brick: noun: rectangular block of clay baked by the sun or in a kiln; used as a building or paving material; noun: a good fellow; helpful and trustworthy; adjective: paved with brick
and if that shiny boot don’t kick
mama’s gonna buy you a rubber dick