…mama’s gonna buy you a Thunderbird
And if that Thunderbird don’t start,
Mama’s gonna buy you Mario Cart
And if that Mario Cart turns off,
Mama’s gonna buy you a Kalishnikov.
…
…?
If that Kalishnikov don’t shoot
Mama’s gonna buy you a monkey suit.
And if that monkey suit wears out
Mama’s gonna buy you a box of grout.
Goddamnit you sonofabitch. I watched “Mockingbird Don’t Sing” last night and just managed to get that song out of my head and now it’s back in. :mad:
Nope, doesn’t rhyme.
Ok, you made me laugh.
I had a pelican, and Super Smash Bros, but the story ends the same way.
Stupid third party wireless controllers. grumblegrumble
And if that box of grout won’t stick
Mama’s gonna buy you a guitar pick.
And if that guitar pick won’t pluck
Mama’s gonna buy you some Peking duck.
And if that Peking duck ain’t dead
Mama’s gonna buy you an inflatable bed
And if that inflatable bed’s not soft
Mama’s gonna buy you a New York loft
And if that New York loft’s too noisy,
Mama’s gonna buy you a trip to Boise.
And if that trip to Boise gets detoured,
Mama’s gonna buy you a loofah gourd.
And if that loft can’t be sub-let,
Mama’s gonna buy you the New York Mets.
And if the Mets don’t win that game,
Mama’s gonna let Bush take the blame!
And if that gourd don’t exfoliate,
Mama’s gonna buy you the Tar Heel State.
And if that state don’t grow tobacco,
Mama’s gonna find you a real nice crack-ho.
And if that crack ho don’t put out
Mama’s gonna buy you a box of grout
And if that box of grout’s still loose
Mama’s gonna buy you a Canada goose
(Nice to see you again, Boozahol Squid, P.I.. Sorry about that mess before.)
And if that goose don’t fill your gut,
Mama’s gonna buy you an extra butt.
And if that extra butt won’t poop
Mama’s gonna buy you Hula-hoop.
And if that Hula-hoop won’t twirl
Mama’s gonna buy you guide for PERL.
And if that guide for PERL is brash
Mama’s gonna give you somma her stash
And if that stash don’t get you high
Mama’s gonna rock you beddy-bye
An’ if that rock don’t make you sleep,
Momma’s gonna buy you fluffy sheep.
And if Hal makes that sheep go stray,
Momma’s gonna wait for a summer day.
And if all summmer’s naught but squall,
Momma’s gonna go tear down The Wall.
And The Wall simply won’t fall,
Momma’s gonna catch you a foul ball.
And if that foul ball stays fair,
Momma’s gonna buy you an office chair.
Ditto on all counts, Simmerdown
And if that office chair won’t spin,
Momma’s gonna buy you a bottle of gin,
If that bottle of gin’s not dry,
Momma’s gonna buy you Spanish fly,