And if that child molester won’t molest
Mama’s gonna buy you the game of “Quest”
And if that game of “Quest” ain’t fun
Mama’s gonna make another beer run
And if that beer has gone skunky
Mama’s gonna buy you a howler monkey.
If that monkey won’t fling enough poo,
Mama’s gonna take it to the zoo.
And if that zoo is all locked up
Mama’s gonna buy you a iron cup.
And if that iron cup cuts your peepee
Mama’s gonna buy you an antique teepee.
And if that antique teepee turns out to be a fake
Mama’s gonna bake you and Exlax cake
And if that cake don’t give you the runs
Mama’s gonna buy you a tommy gun
And if that tommy gun should jam
Mama’s gonna buy you a rancid ham