A frequent feature of the Adam Carolla podcast, the “Hypothetical Road Trip” game consists of Adam posing to Larry Miller two possible travel companions for a cross-country road trip from California to Florida, and Larry must choose who he would rather drive with. The joke of it is Larry is always wrong no matter which he chooses, despite Adam’s insistence that “There are no wrong answers.”
Anyway, this strikes me as a fun activity we can participate in here.
So the situation is:
You’re going on a cross-country road trip from L.A. to Miami, and you MUST to choose one of these two travel companions:
A) the Aggressive Vegan: this is the person who eats nothing but organic, cruelty-free vegetables, is adamantly against all animal products, and has made it their mission in life to berate any and all people who do not live EXACTLY as they do. This person goes out of his/her way to discuss it and has absolutely nothing else to say about any other subject whatsoever. All conversations, no matter what the initial subject matter, will immediately lead directly to further discussion of either the merits of their lifestyle or the evils of everyone else’s. You may only stop at establishments that meet their approval, lest you suffer further wrath.
B) the Extremely Pregnant Woman: personality is not a factor here. The defining characteristic of this person is she is extremely pregnant and could pop at any moment, and YOU are going to have to deal with her. She’s a ticking time bomb and you’re solely responsible for her.
Assume both of these people are strangers to you. Nevermind why you must make this trip or why you must take one of these two people, that’s not important. What’s important is who you choose and why. There is no cop-out vote here; you have to pick one of the two.
Argh - I goofed - I entered pregnant woman when I meant Vegan.
I’ve driven an extremely pregnant woman (OK, she was actually in labor) 11 miles once. Worst 11 mile drive of my life. I can easily tune out a vegan, and would despise them on principal anyway -they’re behavior isn’t going to bother me terribly. Besides, I’d probably just buy some beef jerky when we stop for gas just to taunt the vegan further.
It would be a lot more fun if the choice were between an aggressive pregnant woman and a vegan who might pop at any moment. As it stands, I pick the vegan. The radio can drown out an argument, but that fat bitch will still be pregnant no matter what.
I’d love to drive with the vegan. I eat almost soley beef jerk on road trips and combine that with my gas guzzling car and my work in the oil industry it’s possible that I will have driven them to sucide by the end.
My mom’s family is very green and I love taunting them at family get togethers.
Its an interesting commentary that the people who are motivated enough (aggressive enough?) to post a comment all say “Vegan” but the majority of the (silent) people who have voted say Pregnant.
Vegan - I would enjoy the food and have no particular issues with vegan eaters. Assuming they were otherwise normal it wouldnt bug me at all.
Hell no to Preggo Pants - I’ve taken first aid but I really don’t think a two day course has adequately prepared me to deliver a baby on the side of the road.
I’m going with the pregnant woman. She may or may not pop, but that’s a physical, medical thing and I can handle that one way or another.
The vegan, I’ve known too many of those people to ever willingly deal with one ever again. They are completely insufferable; IME there is absolutely no fun to be had from these people whatsoever.
The pregnant woman. I can get help delivering the baby. (or are we supposed to assume we’d be in the middle of nowhere the whole trip?) I’m an unrepentent carnivore, and holier-than-thou people annoy me.
I’ll take the vegan - already have several among the in-laws, and I could go with a couple of days of eating no meat (and whatever else I wouldn’t be eating).
IF I understand pregnancy correctly (big if there), pregnant women frequently have to pee. So no, this person would slow down the trip completely.
Not necessarily, however large portions of the most direct route from L.A. to Miami would be pretty desolate.
She may or may not pop; maybe you make it all the way to Miami without her going into labor, maybe you don’t. That’s a risk you’ve gotta be willing to take.
Also bear in mind we’re not just talking about a vegan, we’re talking about an aggressive vegan. You might agree to not eat meat along the way, but they’re still going to be harping at you anyway because you’re still not one of them. They’ll be bitching at you the entire way about your food choices, your clothing choices, your everything choices because you don’t live your entire life according to their agenda. Can you really put up with that for 3000+ miles?
Do I care about this person? I mean, if I want to be a dick and chow down on a double bacon cheeseburger while taunting her, is that ok? Because realistically, that could be pretty fun for a while. As long as its not my boss, in law, or someone I’m trying to lay, I think I’d be alright.