I’m putting this in the Pit due to the potentially offensive nature of the subject and the fact that I may want to throw in a few obscenities in here and there. It may be moved at the mods’ discretion. I’m not relating this to just gross people out - there’s a larger question at the end.
So - we finish watching South Park (it was a good one), and Lord of the Remote is flipping around. He lands on something and pauses, probably because of the boobicular action then on-screen. I glance up a few minutes later and think “hmmm…that’s a nice Tupperware container…OHMYGOD, that’s a placenta!”
Yep. It was a placenta - cord attached. I’m now wondering “why do these people have a cow’s placenta - oh, they’re going to cook it. Ewww, that’s kind of gross.” Being the “live and let live” person I am, I return to my nice Smithsonian magazine until I hear – it’s not a cow’s placenta - it was a human placenta. It was one of the family’s, to be more specific. At this point, I am doing the Squirm of Revulsion in my seat with accompanying “Do we HAVE to watch this?” I hear now “See, here it is all cut up,” and they’re displaying it in all its bloody goodness.
She’s COOKING it! Oh, this is not going to get better. It’s done, and she’s slicing it and says “Oh, look how tender it is!” and explains that she’s making pate with it and they’re going to share the DNA and genetic material with family and some friends.
At this point, I am now doing the Dance of Agonized Repulsion. (Think of Shiva with all the arms flailing, the torso twitching, and a bouncy syncopated chorus of EW! EW! EW EW EW!) It’s remarkably similar to the Get It Off Me shuffle, but Lord of the Remote knows me well enough to tell the difference. It’s even more impressive when standing. Okay, enough of that.
So they’re passing it around, and people are munching it down, and it’s explained that one of the guests is a vegan (at least a vegetarian, but I’m almost sure they specifically said vegan), and the vegan says (paraphrase) “It’s not from an animal, right? Well, if it’s not animal, it’s okay” and pops it in her mouth.
WhaFUCK? (See, I told you there’d be expletives.) Jeremiah, Cassopeia, and Zacharias!
How does this compute? Where does human placenta fit in the vegetarian diet? After pondering this question, I came up with some possibilities.
- She’s a vegan for social reasons, but the social importance of sharing this once-in-a-lifetime (gee, I HOPE) opportunity was more important.
- She’s a vegan from not wanting to harm animals, but since this was a natural product and not from an animal, it was okay. It’s not like we have human farms producing this stuff or anything - yet.
- She’s a vegan for the it’s a healthy diet reason, but…well…gee, I couldn’t come up with a rationale for that one.
I don’t have anything against vegans or vegetarians. I don’t think they’re misguided or anything - your choice, okay? It’s just the juxtaposition here completely blew my wee little mind.
Soylent Green - part of your complete vegetarian diet!
(If anyone cares, it was part of “Best of Shock Videos” on one of the HBO channels.)