I have the weirdest form of empathy, in that when other people around me are sad, angry, frustrated, hyper, or experiencing other emotions, soon I am feeling the same way. This only happens with people I personally know. Often this backfires on me in that I will be around someone who is angry about something totally outside the interpersonal sphere, but in a few minutes, I am mad at them . Or like today, when I sat next to my hyperactive co-worker during a meeting, pretty soon I went from “normal” to whispering the lyrics from “Baby Got Back” just barely under the boss’s radar. What the hell is wrong with me??
On the positive side of it, this makes me a much better social worker than I otherwise would’ve been, IMHO. I have a way of guessing what someone is feeling “underneath the feelings” they are expressing, because whatever they are experiencing seems to soak into my very being, somehow. It freaks people out sometimes.
Anybody else out there share this “problem” with me?
I do, but it’s not very strong, more so with some people than with others. I also have certain people with whom I always seem to be in the opposite mood than they’re in. For example, when one of my friends is in a bad mood, I’m in a good one, and vice versa.
“I have the weirdest form of empathy, in that when other people around me are sad, angry, frustrated, hyper, or experiencing other emotions, soon I am feeling the same way.”
You need to see Woody Allen’s movie, “Zelig.” Trust me.
I feel empathy much too strongly, my mind and heart are the barometers. I sometimes feel literally either heavy or light hearted. I am filled with random mental images that seem evocative of the emotional underpinnings of the environment. Sometimes large and small battles are waged on these waves of emotion, I can feel them happening on the other side of the world, even from places distant and deep in some star eons ago… My emotions follow my environment too closely. I become entrained palpably to emoting people, places, and things. I hope this is compassion.
Some people call this projection or transference, implying we are the emanating emoter. I think this is partially true, but likely works both ways. I believe we are all transmitters and receivers. I feel energy and emotion from most things, it is difficult to seperate my real emotion and the emotion that comes from outside,
but there is definitely a difference. Sometimes I feel an overriding sense of well being and a energy filling all, this energy seems to literally destroy or erase negative thoughts (images) and emotion. I guess it’s good vibrations ?
I also feel negative vibes…
I feel contracted under the negative.
I feel expansive under the positive. I also equate this with Love.
What else could it be?
My best intentions are wished on every situation, but I sometimes live out the emotion, and it plays itself out within and sometimes without… I try to remain dispassionate sometimes, but often I must ride the wave out and experience the emotion. Some environments and people are more compelling.
My friend is venting about some situation (with another person) that caused great emotional distress. In my heart, i side with them (that’s what friends are for right? to make you feel better even if you’re wrong–>of course point this out as well).
But what are the words that escape my mouth? Along the lines of: “I understand, but…” and start pointing out the other person’s possible view of the situation in question. I do this so much that my friend feels like i’m siding with the ‘enemy’ and betraying their friendship.
All i try is put myself in both people’s shoes. Of course, i only do this if the relationship between the two people is imperative, like family or romantic.
Ya know, Ggurl I have felt these “emotional waves” carried on and acted out even in disparate and seemingly distant emotional environments. The compelling factor of “emotional waves”, that I mentioned earlier, seemed to need to be played out. i.e.- I have cried with very little reason, and in an environment that really was rather joyous or should have been. I was just overwhelmed with an insight and emotion…lament, I suppose. The person that I was with, said “Well, that’s the second time I’ve made a man cry today.” That person felt as if it was their doing… their intention. Not entirely true. Something larger than intention was at work here. Instruments we are… playing in the symphony.
My Mum has that book, and she loves it. Highly sensitive people tend to be empathic, good listeners, easily startled, uncomfortable with too many people or too much noise, and sensitive to other’s moods. They tend to stress out if they can’t get away from stimuli and be quiet at least once a day. They tend to be nervous in new situations.
It’s funny how neatly my Mum, Mr. Lissar and I fit.
What bugs the crap out of me about this is that my mom tells me I’m just being oversensitive. I don’t THINK so. And it’s not something I can just turn off. I wish I could.
It’s something I’ve had problems with all my life- I was unbelievably shy as a kid, and still somewhat as an adult, because I have problems dealing with a lot of new people all at once, especially in new situations, where I wasn’t sure of myself. Too much input, and it makes me exhausted, and I need to go lie down somewhere quiet and dark for a while.
According to the book, it’s a classic HSP method of withdrawing. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with me.
I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but I’ll borrow it from my Mum tomorrow and maybe post a bit more tomorrow night.
I’m quite similar in being sensitive to peoples emotions, but I don’t think its anything special. I think it happens to everyone when they are not overly preoccupied with their own emotions, the feelings filling a void so to speak.
You should see it as a sign that you are emotionally healthy in that you aren’t preocuppied with your own emotions to the extent of blocking out other people’s.
The fact is of course that its emotion, and so has no ‘built in’ targets so you also shouldn’t be worried about being angry at your friend when he/she is angry at something else.
If you find that it is becoming problematic I would recommend you try meditation, or perhaps Tai Chi.
I’ve only just started with Tai Chi, but its very relaxing and i’ve found that my mood is much more even than before.
Take care and let us know how you get on whatever you do!
I have the book. I will start reading it sometime today. I suspect I’ll be telling my mom to read and and stop telling me I’m just being oversensitive, though, even the stuff on the back of the book describes me unnervingly well.
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