My only comment is that when you’re talking about two people named “Havens,” they are “the Havenses,” not “the Havens.”
What?
So whenever a sentence no verb, we’re to assume it’s a form of “to shoot”?
No you just have to as to its actual content. Most of the time the humor is inherent in thinking of funny, mostly risque, verbs you can substitute.
definately
Click!
One more notch down the scale. 
Not to worry, /b/ has cancer and is dying.
Which is pointless if you wish to convey information about the actual news article to which you provided a link.
Do you actually think you’re being clever or funny in some way?
I don’t know what /b/ is either.
There are whole worlds of the internet that I have no connection to, and yet they seem to rule the entirety of it.
/b/'s a forum on 4chan that’s mostly for porn. I went there once. Never again. As I was warned by the SDMB, it’s the exact opposite of this place. From what I perused, it’s usually a teaser picture with a comment like “30 replies gets a [video/picture] of [sex act]” Supposedly they post it after the right amount of replies.
I only mention this so you can be aware of “Tits or GTFO (get the fuck out)” and “Sup /b/?”, two other memes to escape 4chan that you might come across.
I took the OP to mean that the guy accidentally fucked his “estranged” wife, as if he were explaining to a current girlfriend how he fell in such a way that his penis ended up in her vagina.
Sorry, pet peeve.
[sub](See here if you don’t get it.)[/sub]