I received a very nice email today. It seems a fan of a certain author recognized my writing style, and was sure I was testing stuff out on the boards.
They were delighted to have found me, and couldn’t resist emailing me to tell me how great it was to engage in conversation with such a fantastic and recognized writer.
I was delighted.
Then I read on about how much she loved my last book, and couldn’t wait for my next one, and checks Amazon.com every week to see when it’s coming out.
Except I’m not Dave Barry.
Crap. Here I am, this famous author slumming on a message board, and you figure the whole thing out, but come up with a 2nd rate hack like Dave Barry?
I informed her in the most icy tones possible that I was certainly not Dave Barry. I am Samuel Clemens a.k.a Mark Twain, and if she didn’t have the intelligence to appreciate my work to such a degree that it reminded her of Dave Barry I would appreciate it very much if she would stop reading my stuff, and buying my books as I’m trying to cultivate a more highbrow appeal.
I haven’t heard back. It occurs to me that I was an asshole . Again. I was really just trying to be humorous. It also occurs to me that I may receive an email containing an apology, and stating that she would promise to look into this Mark Twain guy, since if he reminds her of Dave Barry, he must be pretty good.
So, if you’re out there, and you’re confused, the truth is, that I’m nobody. Nobody famous that is.
I’m not really Mark Twain.
Then I wondered if we actually did have any famous posters besides Cecil.
So, this is the place to come clean.
I know that you must be famous in real life. Admit it here. Tell us who you are. No more slumming.