Here’s the thing: It’s true that the social environment did not need to become crude and loud in order to bring down various forms of opression.
Ideally, we should all have had civil rights, women’s equality, sexual openness, critical study of history, denouncing of child and spousal abuse, product safety, economic expansion, environmental protection and cultural diversity, *WITH *politeness and elegance and class and respect for elders and for other people’s property and good hygiene and looking out for your neighbor’s kids and cookies and pie.
Unfortunately, too damn many of the people holding out for the reactionary, opressive old policies happened to couch their resistance in terms of “preserving values” and tried to suppress dissent and reform under pretense of it not being polite to make a fuss and bring up things that upset people and why do it right now instead of waiting patiently until another generation passes, etc. So they made it look like those social values were inexorably paired with the reactionary old opressive ways , and the more radical among the reformers were only too damn happy to call the bluff and take them up on that.
Where I see the failure in many of these lines of argument is in that assumption on both sides to the effect that the crass, vulgar culture is the inevitable price of the less oppressive, more open society, that it somehow was a zero-sum valorative equation and you could not have the one without the other.
To strip it down to barest essentials, the worst sociocultural evolution would be in the direction of both more opressive AND less polite. The best one would be one in the direction of both less oppressive AND more polite.
But what we DID get, was less oppressive AND less polite. And there isn’t jack we can do about it now. So?
Well, so happens, IMO less opressive always trumps more opressive, regardless of politeness level.
And granted that, then well, yes, I can lament that some people think freedom is an excuse to be rude, and that they flaunt their bad taste. If I’m telling some young punk to wear his pants right, it’s because I don’t like seeing his asscrack, not because I want to opress his people, whoever they are. Sure, he has the right, but it doesn’t make it any less ugly. But considering that just about everything else about society – civil rights, medical care, standard of living, etc. – is better now than 50 years ago, it’s not even close to souring the deal.