An escort in an escort. Hmmm? How did the car get that name? Ford has all those horse names. Pinto should have been named the Expire.
I always wanted to be a high class male escort catering to the subset of beautiful, rich women who want to pay me for sexy & maybe do some housework afterwards
Didn’t work out
With a name like Delicious how could you miss? Seems perfect to me;).
He’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a handjob today.
I had that Mustang, it was an unparalleled piece of shit.
I find myself lacking context, but at a quandary. Is it really worth reading the original thread this redirect to the Pit is referring to?
Well played, sir, well played
Hehehe, I had an EXP, the two-seat almost sports car* version of an Escort. Mine had an easy to induce over-fueling condition that would make it backfire and belch black smoke for a few seconds afterward. I called it “James Bond” mode.
My dad had an Escort from the same model year. It was much more fun. I drove a few other Escorts, and I had a 91 Escort GT that I still kind of look sideways at my wife for making me get rid of it at 300K miles.
Wow, so I was actually addicted to Escorts. I kind of got over it. There were dues I was supposed to be paying?
*Yay, the sports car version has more weight, a tach, the same brakes and the same power. yayyy. Who the fuck designs these things? Oh yeah, we bought the EXP in a non-running condition because the previous owner had bent a valve. It was designed by the same jerks who decided an interference engine, a timing belt. and cam gears with NO MARKS were a good combo. I was addicted to this? Stuff your dues!
Nice post/poster combo. That truly looked like a scabpicking catharsis. I totally flashed on your ‘interference’ rant. Niiiiccee
You really have no idea. It was a revelation when I started to realize that I at one point liked those cars. I picked this stupid name on a lark, and over time it has just proved more applicable the more I consider it.
Not only the above, but I’m vain/stupid enough to sometimes read the things I post here to my wife. When I reached:
I was rightfully flipped the bird. Even though that Mazda B platform was pretty sweet with the BP engine, she’s heard all about it.
Only if you feel like getting vaguely nauseated by the things strangers insist on sharing on the Dope. Otherwise, I’d say this is the better thread.
If I was hypothetically addicted to escorts, I’d worry about the effect it could have on my hypothetical wife and kids.
Reese Witherspoon demonstrates what happens when you try to lowball the price.
Why, you’d have to go through an hypothetical divorce, of course.
I was addicted to escorts. Then I went cold turkey. But remember folks, [TOP-TIPS]you have to microwave them at up at least room temperature first![TOP-TIPS]
That was exactly my job throughout the 70s and early 80s[sup]1[/sup] (I didn’t do housework, though[sup]2[/sup]) whenever I wasn’t otherwise occupied being a secret agent for MI5. It worked out well because most of the beautiful women who hired my services turned out to be lascivious Russian spies, who thereby got fucked both literally and figuratively[sup]3[/sup].
Ask me anything.
[sup]1[/sup] No, but since the morons who start these kinds of threads (and don’t intend them to be parodies) just make shit up, I figured I might as well get in on it.
[sup]2[/sup] True.
[sup]3[/sup] They might have been, if there had been any. It turns out that beautiful lascivious Russian spies are surprisingly hard to find. I think Shagnasty gets them all.
I might have more questions wolfpup if you left off the footnotes. :mad:
Are you throwing stuff down there?
Sorry, but I’d really like to be able to understand the context (though I did own a Ford Escort, too). Anyone?
I’m thinking is not the dues that are challenging so much as the delusions. I mean, you gotta convince yourself that the ‘provider’ for your ‘hobby’ isn’t, y’know, damaged/traumatized/previously sexploited, they just happen to groove on renting out their body for you to use.
They really wanna ‘provide’ for you and are all just college girls without pimps, looking to make extra pocket money.
You’re paying cash, and skulking around, all to rent the body, of someone’s daughter, (with zero emotional/social connection), for like twenty minutes, so you can reach orgasm. And done.
It’s not the dues, it’s the delusions and what you have revealed about your true nature (to yourself), which has to be WAY harder to live with, I should think.