I learned something tonight about my own assumptions, and it was slightly painful. One of my co-workers and I have had problems with each other, he feels I yelled at him and I felt he was ordering instead of asking. We were meeting in my boss’ cube to talk about the flair up that happened tonight.
We are sitting in seats diagonally across from each other with our boss to my right and to his left. He was looking at either the floor or my boss the entire time we were talking. He would not look at me, let alone make eye contact. This lack of eye contact has always bugged me about him, especially because he would make eye contact with all the other member of my team. So he says tonight he says “Reepicheep, I have always respected you like my sister. I respect you so much I will not look at you when we talk, just like I would not look at my mother when we talk. In my culture men show respect by not looking at a woman.”
Frell, I feel lower then whale dren. The fact that he always looked away or at the ground I have always taken to mean he was lying or being deceptive. All the time he was showing me respect that I took as disrespect. His pattern of speech grates on my nerves, but he uses it with everyone so I know it is not meant as disrespect. However, to find out tonight that something I have always taken as being dismissive of me was really meant as respectful makes me feel very uncomfortable about my own ability to bridge culture divides. I am a putz. :smack: