For a long time I’ve heard women complain that they don’t like when men ‘talk to their breasts’.
First, what EXACTLY does that mean? Do guys, literally, stare at them while talking? Or are we talking about guys whose eyes constantly flutter between them and your face?
Second, just how difficult is it to find a guy that does stay focused totally on your face?
Please, I wish in no way to debate when it is appropriate or not.
Hmm…well, I will try to answer this, but keep in mind this is just my opinion, and I can’t speak for every other woman outthere. Most men do seem to flick their eyes back and forth between breasts and face. Some men will just drop their eyes while you talk and stare in a sort of trance. These guys usually blush or look away real fast when you meet their eyes. And some men just stare unabashedly. I don’t usually get offended by it- I have a feeling a lot of men do it almost subconsciously. They seldom do it while they’re talking, but often do it when you’re talking. If it’s really blatant, and they just will not make eye contact, I’ll say something like “Hey, I’m up here.” This usually elicits a somewhat embarassed response, which leads me to believe this boob-looking behavior is at least partially subconscious. It doesn’t really offend me, especially if the guy’s being discreet about it- it’s a natural human behavior to stare at things that interest us, and straight guys are usually pretty interested in boobs.
What, like women’s eyes never drop to a guy’s crotch while they’re standing having a conversation.
Well, mine do, anyway.
What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
And I happen to have a very nice rack, and would be disappointed if a guy failed to notice. Just so it isn’t a too-obvious stare.
Glancing is A-OK.
The annoying thing is when a man just stares. At your chest.
I used to know a guy that did this to woman - he wasn’t particularly lecherous in other ways - it was very odd.
Once I even said to him “What - did I spill something on my shirt?”
He just said no and kept starting.
Grief.
The story goes that Prince Charles, when caught staring down a woman’s bodice, mumbled something like, “Mum always said a gentleman should maintain eye contact, but some ladies make it tough.” Or maybe it was “hard” instead of “tough.”
I once told an acquaintence that she made it difficult for a fella to maintain eye contact. She hasn’t spoken to me since. Of course, I’m not the crown prince, either.
I decline my hea out of respect and difference to the person to who I am speaking, I am not staring at a females breasts, typicaly I am staring at the ground (if standing up) or a table (if sitting down).
People do not typicaly <i>like</i> it when I make eye contact with them, tends to freak them out. 
I’m not a breast man at all. I’d rather look at her face, unless she’s really fugly, then it’s the wall behind her. But at times when I can sneak a peek at a pair of legs, I’ll do that, but that’s normally when she’s walking or sitting somewhere, so I’m normally too far away to ever get caught.
Most of the guys I know flicker between my face and my chest. I guess I’m just used to it. If it gets ridiculous, I respond with, “I’m up here”. If it happens to be a student, it usually embarrasses him properly.
I read a long time ago that one piece of black body language is looking down when facing an authority figure. This sometimes baffles teachers, who tell students, “Look at me when I’m talking.”
–Nott
I have a 5th grade student who does this. At first I thought it was amusing. But when he’s doing that while I’m bawling him out for one of his more obnoxious antics, I get pissed. I’ve actually started telling him, “My eyes are up here.” I’m not sure he realizes I know he staring at my boobs, or if he thinks I’m just telling him to look at me while he’s getting chewed out. That’s a good thing.
Ah, pre-pubescence…
Yeah, it happens. But there’s a difference–subtle but real–between noticing, even appreciatively, what’s indisuptably there and dwelling on it. Them. (ahem!)
I’ve never been male (them’s the breaks) but even accounting for popular myths about visual input, I’d reckon most men wouldn’t be too upset about a quick visual survey of the body. I don’t even wanna touch–in any sense–the hot button issue of body image, approval, etc. (ahem! again) IOTW, I suspect the quick visual survey happens to everybody. The social freight and cues snag the trip wires.
Context matters, y’know? I sure as hell don’t blame men for being confused, because signals are as various as the women sending them. And maybe perceptions and reactions are changing. But for most of the recent (or far) past, men haven’t been regarded as purely eye candy, by themselves or others, i.e. purely decorative, sexually available targets. That includes the “quick scan” survey that frankly doesn’t give a shit about humor, character, wit, etc. The bod’s the thing. The ONLY thing.
Appreciatively taking in the physical package as one aspect of a person is flattering. Being scoped out like a like side of meat isn’t.
So…in practice, anyone crass and tacky enough to reserve conversation to my bustline receives a scathing, lethal reminder that an independent human being is attached to the mammaries. Appreciation, leavened by taking in the whole package, is miles away from leering.
Veb
I have the same problem as Com2Kid - I feel like I am freaking someone out if I maintain eye contact. Sometimes if I look into someone’s eyes they just run away. I usually end up switching between looking at their face and the ground.
Good lord! Why would I want to look at a man’s crotch?!?! Blech! (Butts are a different story, but that’s why God made baseball players. I have no problem refraining from looking at everyday guys walking around.)
This is generally true. My African-American students will look at their feet or at the wall behind me when being directly addressed by me. Looking in my face would be considered rude according to their upbringing, and therefore I never demand it. Looking at my chest, however, does not fall into the same category.
Sheesh, this is getting complicated.
It really isn’t an either/or choice between the relentless “in your eyes” stare of used car salesmen versus some clueless lecher hopefully conversing with a pair of breasts as if nipples miraculously developed independent auditory receptors. (“I’m talking to 'em! Hoo-boy, betcha they’re in a lathered sexual frenzy now!”)
There’s a whole world of options–literally–outside those two poles. (Or four. Aaaarrrugh! )
Cultural differences abound about prolonged eye contact. And comfortable boundaries for personal space, for that matter. But a zillion options exist beyond meat-market drooling. Gack. What ever happened to suavely averted gazes–onto hair, ear lobes, collar bones, glancing off into near-space occupied by a very interesting “other”? Most times, for casually met strangers, default assumptions work, i.e. basic courtesy. Save face (yours) and assume the “lookee” requires a little chit-chat, a few basic grace notes, before casting them as Penthouse Forum dolls.
I’m not saying lusty appreciation for differences don’t exist. But, sheesh, why rush the buffet? Gorging can be okay, if you don’t mind bloating and barfing. But why not dine instead?
Veb
I have a friend who stares-stares-stares at my chest all the time when he’s talking to me. Not when I’m talking, but when he’s talking! I don’t know if it helps him to think about what he’s saying or what. I’ve never said anything to him about it. I guess I find it amusing 
Hi Joe, how ya doin’? How about you, Fred? So what do you guys think about the weather? A little nipply, eh? Just wanted to keep abreast of things. Well, ta-ta.
Oh wait… you wanted responses from women? Nevermind…
don’t click submit don’t click submit don’t click submit… too… weak…
That’s right woman, it’s part of my culture. I’ll use this one from now on.
I distinctly said it was not part of their culture to stare at a woman’s breasts, but nice try.
Since when is not looking authorities in the eye a part of an African-American’s upbringing? 