I am a mutant!

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Sadly, I have not noticed that I possess any cool powers yet. I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Anyway, just came from getting my back adjusted. I asked my chiropractor if I could have a copy of my x-ray, so I could scan it and show everyone on my LJ friends list how weird my spine looks. I got a negative on that (well, technically I could, but it sounds like more trouble that it’s worth), but he showed me the technician’s report on the x-ray.

And holy fuck, I AM MISSING A RIB. I have twelve ribs on my left side and only eleven on my right! AHHHHH!!! I am like, some crazy monster creature! My spine is messed up because the right side of a couple of my vertabrae aren’t fully formed and apparently that extended to the rib, which just never formed at all!

How come no one told me this til I was 26 years old, that’s what I want to know? What other things could be wrong with me that no one bothered to tell me? Now I am all paranoid!

#2

Have you noticed some new man hanging around? Last time it worked the other way (rib taken from man to make woman), but maybe they’re trying something new this time.

#3

If it turns out someone took my rib, I’ll be pissed, I’ll tell you what.

#4

Wow! I read about stuff like this in Mutants, but you’re living it – that’s awesome.

Can I have your autograph?

#5

Did you check behind the couch?

#6

Oooh, that book looks interesting.

But of course you can have my autograph. Here it is:

Kyla

BTW, I have family in SoPas. If you see my aunt, tell her her mutant niece says hi.

#7

It’s a great book; I highly recommend it. Very entertaining reading, if a bit dense, and only occasionally icky.

And I’ll say hi to your aunt in So Pas, if you say hi to my aunt in River North. :wink:

#8

I think Chris Rock bought it for fifty cents.

#9

Welcome to the mutant club! I’ll see your missing rib and raise you a third breast. (TMI to follow.)

See, when my daughter was born, I decided to nurse her. It takes a couple days for the milk to come in. The day mine did, I found, in the shower, an enormous lump under my left arm. Scared the crap out of me, and I all but ran to the doctor’s office, thinking my gawd, what if it’s breast cancer and I die and leave this poor baby with no mother??

Doc gave me a thorough exam and then explained to me that functional breast tissue can occur anywhere from under the arm to pretty near the belly button… and I had a little extra breast tissue under my arm that had filled up with milk. He said the swelling would go down in a few days, when my OTHER two breasts became less engorged.

(This is why, when you do a breast self-exam, you’re told to feel under your arms, BTW.)

#10

Oh my god! Was that you in Total Recall?

#11

No, but you might have seen me in Mallrats.

:stuck_out_tongue:

#12

No no no, it’s probably under the radiator, or behind that old casserole in the fridge. I’m always leaving spare body parts there.

#13

I’m heterozygous for the A1298C mutation in the metheylene tetrahydrofolate reductase gene, if that does anything for you.

#14

That sounds painful, but I have a feeling it’s harmless.

#15

Sell off your other rib on eBay!
:smiley:

Maybe you have mutant ability, but just don’t realize it. For instance, your mutant power could be the ability to screw up x-rays. :stuck_out_tongue:

#16

So, did he mention if that’s a common thing?

#17

He didn’t, but I doubt it. At least the way I’m missing my rib, I know it’s not. The congenital abnormality in my spine is extremely unusual. I’ve had two doctors x-ray my spine and both have said they’ve never seen anything like it before.

I am special.

I was all excited for a second, until I remembered that my dental x-rays usually turn out okay. Damn.

#18

I had a friend in college who had one fewer vertabrae than normal. She was on the short side, and liked to gripe about how God had stiffed her of two inches.

#19

Better double check. Make sure you’re not missing a molar.

#20

Or under the fridge. Stuff always ends up under there.