Some time ago, I had a private comment to a moderator about a moderator put on the board by a different moderator. I’m not wholly sympathetic with Twickster’s dilemna.
My level of confidence in Twickster’s ability as a moderator was not decreased by the pig incident.
Why that does have nice ring to it.
Well, except for Twickster that is. Please do not start quibbling about the difference between shitting on someone publicly on a forum of the SDMB verses shitting on someone in the mod loop of the SDMB, for shitting on a person is shitting on a person.
Ah, but it was cc’ed.
Well, this sheltered person would like to direct you to the email that twickster cc’d to another person about picunurse. I don’t know what is so hard to understand here, unless everyone you know is an insane nutsack. And an angry insane nutsack at that. An insane nutsack-caught-in-the-zipper kind of angry.
It is true that in the scheme of things, the remark isn’t going to leave a scar. But I’m guessing **picunurse **will remember it. It’s not that **twickster **used overly harsh language or anything either. It just seems an ***odd, ***strangely angry thing to write about such a small matter. YMMV
FTR, I have no history with **Twickster **and I’ve only known **picunurse **from the occasional post I’ve noticed. In reading some of the other comments, it would seem that others are not surprised about **twickster’s **behavior. I would have been surprised at that reply no matter who wrote it.
I was thinking more along the lines of “over-the-hill mod.” 
Oh, and FTR, if **picunurse **is ok with the apology, that’s fine by me. The fact that **picunurse **made this public is why so many have opinions on it. I’m guessing that if she had to do it over again, she may not have posted the OP if she got an apology from twickster in a timely fashion.
So many have strong opinions on this matter, and Twix as a mod, for a good reason. Because they have seen her behaviour over many years. She behaves badly, offers limp apology. Rinse. Repeat.
No way, do TPTB not get that. They are never, apparently, going to act. Which is fine, it’s their board.
But don’t shit on us, for doing the only thing we can do, complain, loudly and vehemently. They have forced us to use a forum requiring us to be civil when complaining, while at the same time they are apparently allowed to talk shit about us.
She, and they, deserve the heaps they’re getting, in my opinion.
It took 212 posts, but you finally found that acorn, kidchameleon.
I’ll pm you both and cc twickster. Then someone can say something inappropriate and ‘reply all’. This thread needs more stuff woven into it.
I’m just saying for some of the people here, if instead of picturing the moderators as authority figures like teachers and bosses, you picture them more like the teenagers who mop the floor and take your change and assemble your Big Macs, you’ll experience fewer headaches.
You can expect professional behavior, you can demand professional behavior, but the fact is that the moderators aren’t professionals, they’re just random schmoes who moderate for fun. And so expecting and demanding a particular standard of moderation at this message is going to get you nowhere, because this place has a different standard than you expect and it’s not going to change. So, either change your expectations or get used to disappointment.
I think one of the reasons threads like this go on for so long is the lack of ability to Pit mods. People can’t say what they really want to (although I guess they could PM it and cc some people), so they have to make up for quality with quantity, and instead of saying “hey, it’s not that big of a deal, but I still kind of think you’re an xxx” - they have to make it into some really big deal, but phrase it politely in order to try to get the same effect. But I don’t necessarily know what the hell I’m talking about, so there’s that.
It is just bored people, being boring, about shite that does not matter. It has probably always been like this.
Well, sure - that explains a pretty hefty percentage of everything that occurs on a message board.
Yeah, you are right, but I don’t think that the decision to disallow abuse of the volunteer mods (for their mod actions anyway) in the BBQ Pit was a bad idea.
I always figured picunurse was a troublemaker. That keeping babies alive thing is just a front.
See, now here’s what I don’t understand. A couple of posters now have accused Twix of offering up a lame, half-baked apology.
If this is a “limp” apology, then what would you consider a true, sincere apology? Short of Twix stepping down, that is. Which I don’t consider this as a reason that she would need to. Honestly.
My analysis (twickster not trying to pile on here, but I enjoy analyzing things):
- People probably don’t think it’s sincere because it raises the question what is really being apologized for?
The thought?
The verbalization of the thought?
Or the fact that it was made public?
The words are mostly appropriate for a sincere apology, but if the thought remains then the apology is really for just making it public - which probably feels less than optimal.
2) Even mentioning a “bad day” tends to make it appear responsibility is not really being taken. It looks like an excuse.
Something I learned (it took about 472 years), is that, when apologizing, you really do have to look at what your internal motivations are and determine what went wrong and then drop all of the excuses etc., just accept that you f*ed up.
When I apologize to my kids for being a jerk, I usually don’t add in excuses or what my internal circumstances were because that sounds like I am defending myself and making excuses. I just keep it simple “I am sorry for doing/saying X, you did not deserve that”.
Note: My initial and current analysis of the apology was that is was a good one - this is just me taking it apart in detail.
Yeah, I don’t see anything lame about the apology. I mean, if she didn’t offer one, I’m sure she’d get ragged on for that too, and I just don’t see anything she could say there that would’ve made for a “better” apology. If she’d just said “whoops, my bad, lol” that would’ve been a bad apology. This at least seems sincere. Only she herself knows if she really means it, but perhaps the same could be said of all apologies.
This is all beyond any question of whether she should remain a mod or not, just the merits of the apology itself.
I’m not really sure, but even if it is a good thing overall it can still have some negative consequences and this is probably one of them, imho.
As to the sincerity of the apology (this is directed at other posts, not yours Baron) I don’t know. I’m just not feeling it. It seems to me that many of the posters here are writing this off as “no big deal, just mods venting between themselves.” And they’re probably right. But if that’s the case, the apology isn’t honest as worded. I just have a hard time believing that Twix’s actions simultaneously happened to be way out of character at the exact same time that a poster was accidentally cc’d.
I think a more honest apology would have been along the lines of “Listen, we trash members sometimes between ourselves, but we don’t mean anything by it - I’m really sorry you had to overhear me at my worst.” Of course, it wouldn’t be as full of an apology - but I don’t think there really can be one. You can’t purposely act a certain a way until your caught, and then apologize for that one incident and act like the fact that you behaved that way is shocking even to you - it just sounds like BS. It is possible that Twix has never, ever behaved like that before, but my instincts just don’t lead me to believe that.
I’ve said it before about people on here, and I’ll say it again, I’m sure. Some people are so goddamned bored that they have to invent things to bitch about. If picunurse and twixter are happy with the apology, then everyone else should get the fuck over it already.
In my real life, I’m an EMT. I love my job, even though it is, at times, very thankless. When I go to work, I can generally count on being dispatched to the houses of people that I have visited on an almost daily basis. And sometimes I have to go there more than once a day. While I strive to be professional on those visits, it doesn’t always happen. When the patients know me on a first-name basis, it’s sometimes hard to manage professionalism.
Does that stop me from aiding these people? Not in the least. Do I like every single person I have to aid? Not even remotely. Some of them I actively despise. When I know what the complaint is BEFORE the dispatcher mentions it, it can be difficult to keep an even keel .
Do I bitch about patients? Sure. Do I do it to my coworkers? Sure. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. Has a patient’s family member - or the patients themselves - heard me say something negative? Yep. It happens. No one is infallible. And there are patients that I like that others don’t. And some that I don’t like that others do. It’s the way the world works. Not every patient out there likes me, nor do I expect them to. And sometimes the dislike is for something trivial, and other people don’t understand why it’s a factor.
As I said, it doesn’t affect my performance of my job (and I once had to perform CPR on a guy that my now-ex had cheated on me with. And saved the fucker’s life). I try to approach every call in a positive frame of mind. It doesn’t always happen, but I can certainly understand twix complaining about someone.
As long as her feelings don’t interfere with her modding, the people calling for a public lashing or a removal from being a mod should stop trying to fucking crucify her, grow the fuck up, and let it go. Twix is okay with the outcome, as is picunurse. It’s no one else’s business.