Oh - my - God.
You may want to elaborate.
Someone found him in a McDonalds meal, I think…all fried up and such.
Zette
Well, combining the the thread title to the OP…my theory is he’s in the throes of passion.
In the eye-hole.
VERY.
unbelievably.
unconscionably.
nom de dieu
schizen
like a pig in heat in a cabbage patch
like Reese Whitherspoon at a rapists’ convention
like I need to go write this paper RIGHT NOW.
Let me guess…
You have a homework assignment due tomorrow, and you’ve been putting it off for one reason or another.
And now you’re in a cold sweat at the thought of having to write a multi-paged research paper at the last minute.
Am I right?
That reminds me. I have a test tomorrow. Time to put off studying for it till tomorrow:)
Been there. Am there right now, in fact. My advice:
GET OFF THE STRAIGHT DOPE. This becomes my downfall circa paper time. “Hmm…I’ll just check the BBQ Pit,” I think. Next thing I know I’m reading a 10 page long thread in GD.
MAKE SOME TEA. Coffee, Vivarin water, whatever floats your boat. But have caffeine. Not so much you get jittery though. This truly sucks.
WRITE THE FUCKING PAPER, ALREADY. Geez. Just force yourself to sit down and do it. Really, once you get started, you just get in the zone (at least I do) and you’ll finish it a lot faster than if you’re writing it halfheartedly, constantly wishing you were doing something else.
Hope this helps. WRITE IT! Now, excuse me while I work on my Linguistics transcription. 
(WRITE IT!)
The hours I’ve blown on the Straight Dope. :o
Dear GOD, that looks downright pornographic!!!
Yes it does:D
Oh, and Chickenhead, if you’d like (and your prof/school doesn’t disapprove), I’m in the mood to edit, so you can send your paper over to me and I’ll do what I can. What’s the subject?
i was just about to say something about that blowjob smiley you used, but i guess you beat me.
eh.
[sub] you know, i think i have some math homework i havn’t started since last monday that’s due friday, don’t I? better check GQ…[/sub]
Don’t sweat it, Daowajan. At least you didn’t mention toothpaste.
If its procrastinating (spelling and stuff to be done by someone who cares) thats bothering you, let me tell you a story. Its a story about a young bio major at Carleton College. The only time he ever started a paper more than 1 day before it was due was his comprehensive exam (thesis paper to get diploma). He crammed 20+ weeks of research into 1 weekend. Condensed 114 primary papers into the requisite 10,000 characters.
The combination of excessive use of caffine, alcohol to counteract the excess caffine and staying awak for 3 days resulted in an interesting theory.
The paper was accepted. The talk on the paper (45 min + Q & A) took only 6 hours to prepair. And only a minor appendix was required to pass and graduate.
Granted when I was done I couldn’t remember my name.
Personally I think he (assumption) forgot a SO’s birthday/other important date.
Nothing inspire cold dread quite like realizing you FORGOT A DATE ™.
Thats why you always need to keep an Emergancy SO Kit ™ on hand and hidden.
The ESOK kit is a list of nice, romantic restraunts that do not accept reservations (and thus enabling a last moment table) and a prewrapped Gift From The Heart (TM pending). Simply run to the garage and remove the ESOK kit, select a restraunt (or a few give her a choice!) and take the GFTH.
ESOK, brought to you by the creator of the CUMSMEAR repair enchancement system.
[sub]Another Carl? What year? I’m '90, m’self…[/sub]
Procrastination? Bah. I always did my best work at the last minute. But then, I only ever did work at the last minute…
I’ll get around to procrastinating one of these days.
I really don’t know what’s wrong with you people. I mean, I certainly haven’t been spending all my time here lately.
I’ve taken a few breaks here and there for food, sleep, and bathroom.
That is horrible! You shouldn’t procastinate doing papers and such. It’s a bad way to learn to do things.
[sub]Ignore the fact that as of right now I haven’t started on my research paper then presentation that is due at 9:30 in the morning today. Ahh I love the smell of panic.[/sub]
And I have goy to stop checking the SDMB when i get home from work, because I am on;one for such a long time after work. FWIW, I have to work tonight, then i have friday and saturday night off. Wheee!!!