Yawn.
People being pricks for the sake of being pricks…something to be expected, it seems.
Still don’t understand why some poeple think rudeness is a Good Thing. It’s just rudeness, whether used to make a point or not.
esprix:
Agreed. I really don’t honestly we have an actual issue here.
I generally avoid the term because I know that people I like are hurt by it.
I also think it’s clear that 99.99% of the time when a word like “gay” is used as a deprecatory term without reference to homosexuality, nobody goes out of the way to take offense where none was meant.
If I take you and Gobear out for ice cream on a “dutch treat,” Coldfire is unlikely to show up and slam us for an attack against the fiscal tightness of dutch people in general.
If I choose to alternately assert that “Homestar Runner is kind of lame,” I don’t expect to get attacked by the disabled and paraplegic
I think we’re arguing the exceptions when in fact we understand each other.
The only thing that I ever take issue with is that I like to choose my own words and language to best convey intent, and I generally resist and find distasteful when other people alter the context to attach a different meaning.
I find it interesting that while we have debated this debate before, I can’t recall a case where I have seen you misconstrue an innocent meaning, innocently used, and I can’t recall seeing you ever hit somebody over the head for an offense that was not generally offered.
As such I believe you provide an example of a person who merits consideration in these things.
To me that’s what it’s really all about.
Aw, ain’t ya sweet. 
Esprix
Esprix, the point you’re not getting in this whole discussion of what is and what is not offensive is that it takes two to tango. Offense is not something that is inherent in any word or phrase; rather, the offense must be supplied. I submit to you that it can be supplied by the speaker or the hearer.
If someone says something without meaning to be offensive to anyone (e.g., “Homestar Runner is gay”) and you get offended by it, then who’s “fault” is it that you are offended? The speaker didn’t mean to offend you, but you found offense in the statement anyway. I think it’s your own fault for feeling offended because you made yourself feel that way. It’s therefore hard for me (an outside observer) to feel sorry for you for feeling offended that someone said “Homestar Runner is gay” because you are the one that supplied the offense.
Also, upon re-reading you reply above to A Monkey with a Gun’s post, I agree that you really didn’t duck the question, so I apologize for accusing you of doing so.
Homestar Runner might indeed be gay. I’m not convinced of his affection for Marzipan.
OK, no one’s denying that, you halfwit. The point you’re not getting is, after you’ve said it, and someone says, “You know, using that word is offensive to me,” purposely using it again is offensive. The polite thing to do would be to apologize, explain you meant no offense, and avoid purposely offending someone again (unless, of course, that is your intent).
It’s not the intial usage, it’s the subsequent usage that I’m talking about. If you’re going to persist in purposeyl offending people after they’ve explained what they find offensive, then don’t be surprised if you get called on it.
Esprix
I wonder if your (deserved) high opinion of Esprix would allow you to approve him being a Big Brother mentor if he desired. Somehow I get the impression Esprix is “one of the good ones” for you.
No. I would not approve, as I made clear in that thread.
And yes, he is “one of the good ones.”
Jeez, so much for being sweet. 
Esprix
I am sweet.
Homebrew is just working very hard to create offense where none is given.
Well, I dunno - I think I’d make an outstanding Big Brother. I’m sorry you disagree.
But perhaps, Homebrew, we should leave this to another thread, yes?
Esprix
I don’t disagree. I think you’d do very well.
I also think that I would do very well being the Big Brother to a 16 year old girl.
I would be excellent and responsible.
Unfortunately, it would be unwise, in my opinion, to entrust me in such a one on one, ongoing, unsupervised situation with an unrelated teenage girl.
Not because I am untrustworthy or could not handle it, or would not do a good job.
Simply because even an unsubstantiated allegation, or misunderstanding would be horrendously damaging to all concerned far out of all proportion to any possible benefits.
This is why male Doctor’s have female chaperone’s when they examine female patients, not because they are untrustworthy, but to protect them against a frivolous and damaging accusation.
That is the sum total of my reservation. I made that clear in the other thread. I don’t beleive that it is an irrational or bigotted viewpoint, and I resent Homebrew’s bringing it up as if it were such, and necessitating that I defend myself.
And I resent your patronizing attitude, so I guess we’re even.
I brought it up because I think your “I know better than everyone else” demeanor is the same in thread as in that one - and many others to which you post.
You claim superiority in this thread and say what is and what is not offensive. Oh sure, you’re magnanimous; you’ll not use “Gay” as an insult because those silly, irrational homosexuals get offended - or at least the one you respect does; but not because it really is offensive. In the linked thread you know better than the administrators at Big Brothers/Big Sisters who have for 25 years not had a problem with homosexuals volunteering with the group. There are many other threads where you decide who is and who is not worthy - and you know several of which I am referencing.
I found your condenscending “people I like” dig as meant to goad everyone else here and let us all know that Esprix is the only one you care about offending with “gay”. Otherwise, all of the other silly fags can shove off because you’ll use gay as you damn well please.
You’re a smart guy, Scylla, you know exactly the implication I meant with “one of the good ones”. I’m glad you confirmed my opinion of you.
Dude, I’m also talking about the subsequent usage, too. I think that you also supply the offense for the subsequent usage. Here’s why (and NOTE that I’m talking only about the SDMB context; my analysis might be different if we’re talking about just me and you having a private conversation):
If you tell me that you find it offensive when I use a particular word, that doesn’t mean that I intend offense every time I use that word after you tell me this. You can’t infer anything about my subjective intention in using a word simply because you told me you are offended by it and I choose to use the word again. Instead of actively trying to offend you, I have simply chosen to use that word based on how I want to express myself, and each time I use the word you choose to be offended by it. It’s still therefore YOU who is supplying the offense, and not me.
The larger point here is that I’m not going to go tip-toeing around all the time trying to think if anything I do might offend any possible random person on this message board. If you get offended by something I say when I don’t mean to offend you, then it’s your fault for being offended, so you have only yourself to blame for feeling bad.
quote:
Originally posted by Doctor Goo Fee
Gratuitous insults are one thing, but calling a fat person fat is quite another.
Fat people are fat. Some are hideously, horribly, disgustingly fat, others are only disturbingly so.
That is that. No hobbling around it will change the fact.
Fat people have big problems. Starting with their repulsive blubber, and continuing all the way into their lard-encrusted brains. Camryn Manheim, for example, is as delusional as any Alcoholic’s Anonymous Cult-member, only with twice the girth-fulness.
Some thoughts on swollen, human tubs of goo:
- They are not healthy.
- No, I’m sorry, your genes did NOT cause your circus-tent-like circumference.
- I’d rather not have to look at you. Please hide in your parents basement and receive your feedings hourly through an extra-wide slot in the door.
- If we could legally harvest the porcine pouches of filth hanging off of just ONE obese sub-human, we could run all the autos in Norway for three and a quarter years.
- Fuck you and your responses. I shall not peruse them.
- I’m fat.
PC Police-- have at it. You can entertain each other for DAYS with this post. And you’re probably just moronic enough to do so.
Good. Someone understood it. You called me a rude prick (whick I certainly was) but at least you got it.
Fuck you and your anti-AA crusade. It’s really tired. It’s all you post about. I am not a fucking cult member, and neither is my SO. You’re a sad, sour little pustule.
I’m not trying to pick a fight with you and color you as a bigot. When I falsely misrepresent you to make you look bad, then we’ll be even.
**
I’m not claiming superiority. You are pretending I am. I have not called anybody silly or irrational. Your statements otherwise are false.
Seriously, why is this difficult? Why must you paint me as a bad guy over this?
I personally do not beleive the term is inherently offensive. “people,” not person that I like believe otherwise. I am happy to accomodate them as a sign of the respect I feel towards them. What is wrong with that?
I wish BB well in their decision. I believe they are making an error and taking a potentially catastrophic chance.
I haven’t called anybody a silly fag, and I would not use that term. I would think you would be unhappy if I used the term at you, and I am equally unhappy to have you attribute it to me.
I am not trying to goad anybody, Homebrew. The fact that we disagree on certain issues and particulars doesn’t give you the right to try to paint me as a homophobe.
The tactic you are employing is to attack me personally to make me defend myself, rather than engage me in good faith.
You are behaving rudely and incourteously.
Yes, I did. I answered literally because I think your game of hidden meanings and innuendos is stupid.
I’m sorry your delusions persist. Seek help (outside of the Steppers and their non-sensical ‘Program’).
Until people start taking responsibility for their behavior (instead of blaming a non-existant disease), I will continue to look down (way, way down) on an organization that is in deep denial (“we are NOT a religious organization!”) and simply replaces one bad habit (alcohol or drugs) with another (goose-Stepping cult membership).
Maybe the Groupers helped you quit. Good. Now move onto the next phase and regain your intellect. Quit now.
And may your SO find his/her way free, too (either that or graduate to a person who doesn’t fool him/herself about who has the Power to quit [only you, of course]).
Dr. Goo Fee:
You wouldn’t by any chance have given up drinking on your own, would you?
sure sounds like a dry drunk to me.