Paul Newman came into the place I was working several years ago. He was right across the counter from me. I have no idea what I said or did. My god, he was amazing.
Oh, I stood behind one of them, waiting to pay for my oil change at the garage I was constantly taking my car to. Beautiful young woman, sweet figure, long naturally butter blonde curly hair, big blue saucer eyes, all sweet and pink and fragrant. If she had been a season, she would have been the first day of Spring. After a hard winter. I waited one long time while Gus and Bob flirted and chatted and drew out the looooong, intricate process of handing over her keys and taking her check. The young mechanics in the garage were taking turns peeking at this vision through the porthole in the door. They all visibly deflated when she finally left, and who can blame them?
What do they do that gives you that impression ?
I remember one day at the gym, my trainer and I were walking among the machines discussing some exercise or other, and a stunningly-gorgeous woman walked past us. Both of us stopped talking as she passed, and it took a few moments before we could reset our brains and figure out where we’d lost the conversation. I’ve never had that happen before.
I can easily believe that there are gorgeous people who don’t know it. Take someone with face blindness or Asperger’s or bad vision or some other internal disruption of perception, and put them in a gorgeous body.
If they don’t know how to act normally and gracefully with other people, they wouldn’t necessarily clearly perceive the differences between how people behave around them and how people behave around others. And would they be able to perceive how much of peoples’ reactions to them is based on their appearance instead of their lack of social skill?
(I suspect perceiving such differences can be a problem for the socially-skilled gorgeous as well… if everyone is always nice to you, is it because you’re gorgeous, or just nice to be around?)
Now, I am quite prepared to admit that one component of being gorgeous is social skill. I’m also prepared to admit that the top level of the gorgeous, however you define them, cannot be attained save by conscious effort with one’s looks. In such cases my hypothetical would have to remain hypothetical.
I would like to read such articles.
This Paul Newman? 
To me, he was good-looking when younger and now looks normal, if those are all the same person across different ages.
And look at that from his perspective. If he travels through is life and people are always tongue-tied or temporarily absent-minded around him, would he necessarily think of that as a reaction to him in particular?
My son’s kindergarten teacher was (and still is) like that. I said to my five year old son “its ok if you have a crush on your kindergarten teacher, its normal” and to my husband “and besides, you wouldn’t want to NOT have one when she looks like that.”
Paul Newman looks terrible now.
Heh I was an ugly duckling as a kid, I’m mentally prepared. Horribly crooked teeth and awful, disfiguring vitiligo. Very unpopular and treated horribly. I don’t treat people that are ugly like they’re stupid but the human race does and I capitalize on it. My mom is mid 50’s and still sells ice to Eskimos on the regular, so I’ll do all right. Being “exotic” looking helps too; tons of the models for American Eagle and Polo lately have that “latte” colored Greek/Italian/Spanish/Brazilian/white + ____ skin. So the times change what “beauty” is.
I went to the Toronto Auto show this weekend and they, like any other type of convention or what not, had what would be called booth babes. Depending on the manufacturer, the girls definitely were part of a look that someone in Michigan or Yokahama wanted to portray. Usually its either cheer leader types or something similar.
Then I happened upon the Lincoln exhibit, between the mark what ever and the Navigator/Pilot combo, I was checking out the women. Dressed very classy and while I would not call them hot, I would call them striking.
Yeah, very hard not to stare at them and for the price of the Navi that they had on display at 83 k , I friggen hope one of those women comes with the car.
Declan
Because it’s like asking a fish to describe water. Pretty people, who have always been pretty, just live in that world.
If you live in a world where drop-dead-gorgeous is *only *defined as thin, long legged and blonde, a drop-dead-gorgeous short, busty, red-head is not not going to think she’s pretty, let alone the Glamzons (love that, thanks!) described upthread.
I can’t tell you how sorry I am for the suffering you endured.
I’ve mentioned this in passing, but when I worked at a theater in Beverly Hills, I saw my share of pretty people.
One day, coming from backstage and going up the aisle to the lobby, minutes before the show was to start, the theater was packed. Now, as a Gay guy, I have to admit I don’t normally focus on women but before I had gone one row up, I saw the most stunning woman sitting about 10 rows further up, on the aisle. I even slowed down to get a better look - and then I realized it was Brooke Shields.
I swear, it looked like she didn’t have a speck of make up on, and it also looked like she had never had a pimple in her entire life. Flawless and gorgeous and just simply impossible not to see - and to spot her out of a crowd of over 400 people in an instant - well, that says a lot.
Months later she came to work in a show at that theater and I got to know her a bit (and her crazy mother), and yes - she really was as beautiful as you saw her in photos - no Photoshop necessary!
I also worked at a film studio in the same building as casting - and let me tell ya, getting on and off that elevator could give anyone an inferiority complex the size of Montana. Drop dead gorgeous men and woman on their way to the casting offices don’t make most of us look good in comparison.
I have worked with several modeling-hot men. One actually did have side work as a model. I would say that two of the men were dumb - not box of rocks dumb but had been lazy because they could be and didn’t know how to do their work. I think they let others do it for them. One was smart but dull, dull, dull. It was like all he had to do was look good, not make conversation. One was smart and fun. I would have loved to hang with him because he was so fun, but I was strangely not attracted to his looks.
For a couple of years I dated a very, very handsome man. I was too young to recognize his own insecurity and got tired of dealing with his issues (including all the other women who threw themselves at him). He was smart and fun and I loved him very much. Which, of course, meant that I let myself be hurt very much. He recently reappeared in my life and I just had to say “no thank you” to him.
I was a hottie myself when younger. I was a model. I was also insecure and, while I was aware of the rustle around the room that I sometimes caused, I didn’t quite believe it was me causing it. I was very insecure about my looks. But I did once cause a waterskier to crash when I showed up on the dock in my swimsuit. That was hilarious.
I think a man has made me stare, due to sheer, first-look stunned-ness as his beauty, just once.
On a bus, in Portland, OR, mid-80’s. He seemed to be half-Asian, half-black, was bald, and had blue eyes. The most stunning thing I’ve ever seen; I could NOT stop staring.For the record, I am not attracted to typical physical beauty; there’s something about the symmetry of a lot of what is considered beautiful that just slides past me; I need a hook, something to catch my attention. This man was just…wow. So wow, that not only did I stare, which is something I just don’t do, but I remember it 25 years later. Just…wow.
And NOW I know why so many of my characters in video games have dark skin, Asian features, and light blue eyes! Thanks for solving that mystery, lol.
Eve is absoutely right. I’m tall, slim, and have long (to my knees) hair. My face is also pleasant to look at, according to lots of people, including lots of men much younger than me. I stay the hell out of the sun, use Retin-A, and dye my hair. The thing is, no matter what I do, I’m still 45. And it’s starting to happen, just as Eve says. But let me tell you an anecdote to illustrate.
I was early 20’s, happened to be going somewhere where I was moderately dressed up (nice blouse, long flowing skirt). I had a flat tire. I wasn’t worried, though, because I knew how to fix it. I got out of my car, and stood looking at the tire with a flustered and helpless look on my face. It wasn’t, maybe, 3 minutes, before no less than 3 strapping young men were at my side, changing my tire. And I knew that would happen.
Nowadays, well…I know how to change my own damn tire.
I am a reasonably handsome 40-year-old guy with a tiny gut I’m feverishly trying to beat down with mountain bike rides. I still generate interest from women from time to time but when I was in my twenties I worked out regularly and I can safely say I was pretty damn good-looking.
Women would often mention it or allude to it but I would generally ignore it as I’m inclined towards things more meaningful than simple physical attraction (I’m on this forum, after all, punching above my weight on occasion and failing, miserably).
Once in while, though, some girl would come on really strong and I found it really off-putting. I’m just not that kind of guy, ladies. Want to get me interested? Tell me that you were on a train through Tuscany at 3am and the full moon washed the land in such a light that it almost…blah blah blah. Please don’t climb on top of me at the bar, bite my ear, and whisper that you want to fuck my brains out. I like my psychosis in small doses, thanks, and I know plenty of nice, non-threatening girls I can lay the charm on if I’m so inclined. That might sound like BS to some but it really is the nature of it, for me. I’m just too socially conservative and too much a romantic.
But as to your question, I did have a girlfriend once who was ridiculously attractive and that was a real eye-opener for me. She was simply stunning.
People were constantly coming up to me and saying things like, “Oh, she’s so beautiful!!!”, “[NAME] is amazing!”, etc. We would often turn heads. I remember leaving an airport one time. We were all dressed up and had a skip in our step, holding hands, excited to start our vacation. We passed this guy and he literally stopped in his tracks, turned, and simply stared after us. When we went out to clubs other guys would look at me with murder in their eyes.
I experienced that whole routine for years. It got old. Actually, it started old. People were just using us as a mirror for their own fantasy life. A life nobody really has.
What bugged me the most, though, were the comments about my ex-girlfriend’s beauty. You see, the secret was that she was massively intelligent and aware. A real heavyweight in the brains department. She received a full scholarship for her Master’s and another quarter-million-dollar scholarship towards her Ph.D., and beyond. She was contributing to books, presenting papers to hundreds of intellectual types at conferences, all that jazz. Tenure track, for sure. And it wasn’t just book smarts. She was extremely savvy. Socially, and otherwise.
And that was why I was so into her. She always had something interesting and compelling to say. I was always learning something fascinating. But people were interested in her physical beauty ten times as often as her intellect, and that pissed me off. They were selling her short.
We broke up years ago and I don’t know what she’s up to know. Probably laying out her 10-year strategy for the dean’s chair on a whiteboard on her bedroom wall.
But one thing I did take away from the experience is that looks don’t really matter that much. I acknowledge that in this world it is better to be attractive than not, but really, it only helps so much.
You still fight, cry, and break each other’s hearts. You still have to constantly nurture love so that it doesn’t die. You still have to wonder about where your life is going and whether or not you are finding direction, meaning, and purpose. You still have to figure out how on Earth you are going to connect with your father before he dies. You still have to manage your physical, emotional, and mental health. You still have to do the dishes. These are often difficult things for everyone and they never stop. Especially the dishes. You know, Real Life®. No beauty, however great, makes those things go away.
So, I say beauty, however great, doesn’t matter that much.
Now, you still might say, “Easy for you to say!” Well, I’ll also point out that the girl I was talking about has a degenerative eye condition that will probably render her blind in 10 to 20 years. She was already blind as a bat when I dated her. And all of my grandparents and my mother died of cancer. I’m statistically toast. That’s Real Life kicking in. So, yea, it is easy to say.
Sorry for the winded post, folks.
Also, some people have been pretty and hearing how pretty/cute they are since they were in diapers, while others happen to grow into it (like lindsay), or have a look which happens to be fashionable at that time* - but which wouldn’t have had that many people falling over them a few years earlier or later.
One of my 10th grade classmates was very successful with the ladies, but he attributed it to his working on it, not his looks. While he was very good looking by the fashion of the time (think John Travolta’s shorter cousin - but hey, we weren’t tall), things like being able to dance (and dance well!), being able to have a conversation with one or more girls without melting and being very, very good with his hands were, indeed, important factors - and they were things he’d worked on.
- this is something that’s cracked me up since I realized it, how much of what’s publically said to be gorgeous is defined by media. My WAG is that what people think of when they’re in their bunks will probably differ.
I read once about somebody extraordinarily good looking, and a friend said ‘what is it like, getting hit on all the time, people constantly telling you how gorgeous you are?’ And the looker said words to the effect that all those comments were just noises people made whenever he entered a room - just noises that didn’t mean anything, lol.
If you are strikingly beautiful, you may get complimented and propositioned all the damn time, and it’s just noises and annoyance at the nerve of complete strangers trying to get lucky with you. Or, conversely, everybody stares and avoids you, thinking you are already taken, such a spectacular creature surely couldn’t be single and looking.
I got schooled in Impossibly Gorgeous last night. Interestingly, it was in a classroom setting, and the subject of last night’s session was beauty. How to seek it, how to find it in yourself, how to cultivate it and celebrate it.
And pretty much everyone in the class is good-looking, in their own way. Which is not what the class is about, but it’s niice to sit in a class full of good-looking people.
Two women who were there are young and super hot. Impossibly gorgeous. Sexy. But very different. If I showed you pictures of them, you’d probably agree that the brunette is hotter than the redhead. The redhead is a mere 9.5, while the brunette pings at a 10 without effort.
When the brunette speaks, she comes off as… how can I put this kindly? She has a great capacity for learning. Think Brian’s girlfriend Jillian on Family Guy. “So, like, when you talk about beauty, like, I’m like, hot, or whatever? Do you like my nails? Wait, I don’t get it. Can you, like explain that again?”
The redhead, by contrast, sat in demure silence. Her role there was not to learn, but to help facilitate the class. She just sat with a little Buddha smile on her face. I’ve never seen her without that smile. Behind her humble and demure eyes was a knowing, a wisdom, grace, poise, peace, love, and an infinite wellspring of power. This girl gets it, and it’s immediately apparent. The few times that she did speak, she spoke with wisdom.
That’s the difference between hotness and radiance.
The brunette has outer hotness that she tries to show off to the world. The redhead’s outer beauty is just an expression of her inner beauty. She lights up from the inside.
The difference is dramatic.
What class is this? Because I’m now thinking, if one can find the inner beauty in oneself, maybe outer gorgeousness doesn’t matter as much…
I think you hit the nail on the head.
The class is called Philosophy Works, or The School of Practical Philosophy.
Please forgive their cheesey website. I don’t think that they offer classes in your area, but it looks like they have some good online courses. And there may be similar things near you.