I am not a troll, sock puppet, parodist or satirist

The BBQ Pit
1

In the latest Ann Coulter Pit thread, I defended Ann Coulter:

"Bunch of liberals who won’t even listen to a conservative here. What is “bwak”? A chicken sound? Were her arguments so persuasive that you couldn’t stand to listen to them?

“The fact of the matter is that Ann Coulter brilliantly articulates the prinicpled ideology of the conservative movement in this country and is feared and reviled because she is its most effective spokesperson. Her utter disdain for the lack of moral clarity of liberalism comes through loud and clear and does not split hairs. Neither does Annie have split ends. I’m sorry I missed it. She is sexier than Jeanne Kirkpatrick or Margaret Thatcher.”
Now apparently some people, including moderators, think that I’m not serious. Some because they simply can’t imagine Ann Coulter and “brilliant” in the same sentence, and some because I think she is sexier than Jeanne Kirkpatrick or Margaret Thatcher. Now I know that some of you boys pretend that Ann is not truly hot, hot, hot, but I think she is. And as sexy as I find smart women like Jeanne Kirkpatrick or Margaret Thatcher, Ann is much sexier, is she not? Even if liberals were forced to do one of them to save the world, we all know it would be Annie.

But I am very tired of having my posts dismissed because people would rather pretend that I am joking than take the content seriously.

This nation was founded on the basis of principled conservatism that knew the difference between right and wrong, and made no bones about choosing right over wrong, which was the founding father’s original intent. They did not have extra marital affairs and understood that God’s umbrella was protecting our nation. Today, we have a nation of pagens and atheists irritating God, who is removing his umbrella of protection, shaking it out and leaving it on the front porch for anyone to grab. We have people undermining our war on terrorism by focusing on cyrptic bookeeping errors that our great President was tangentially involved in 12 years ago rather than on the immediate danger at hand: we must stop terror and wipe it out. Now is the time we must watch for this time to drive to Bagdad and oust the leader of all things evil, Saddam Hussein. This is the essence of moral clarity: focusing on the task at hand to the exclusion of all distractions and objections voiced by those people who would sap our strength though endless talk and hair splitting about useless facts and risks and benefits.

The contrast between the above and the ultra liberalism of the Clinton administration could not be more clear. While Clinton focused on getting blow jobs from interns and defending his unethical investment losses, he distracted the nation and compromised our safety by endless talking and negotiating with the representatives of the terrorists. Frankly, he should have had a set of goals that maximized national interests rather than the number of BJs by chubby interns. When history records Clintonism, it will be remembered for sex scandals and the attempted suborning of perjury from Julie Haitt Steele and Susan McDougal.

Liberalism, the allowance of a wide variety of divergent ideas and permissiveness, is the very antithesis of focusing our national will and strength behind the vision of one leader to protect our way of life and vanquish our enemies. Fortunately, the Bush administration is fully cognizant of these dangers and has bravely faced the skeptics and recognized up the people who would destroy our democracy. The Supreme Court backs this war effort fully and protects us from the consequences of liberalism and its demands that detainees be allowed to pass coded messages during public trials. There is an Axis of Evil in the world founded by Evil Doers. In this battle, you are either with us, or against us. You are either prepared to accept the glory of our leader’s goals, or sap his strength through aimless inquiries into fully vetted past history.

The safety of the country requires that put aside our doubts and build our missile shield to protect us from rogue states. It requires that we invade Iraq, to stop what may be brewing there. We must privatize social security so that we have fresh investment flowing into the stock market so that these various accounting fraud cases do not bring down more companies. We must energize the economy and offer it stimulus through tax cuts that allow the investment class to have a lot more money to invest in the economy. We must break unions that sap our productivity and ability to compete with third world nations. We must eliminate the minimum wage so that employers in this country do not need to move manufacturing oversears (more than it is) and keep these jobs here.

2

Not a satirist, eh?

::Putting taggert on list of hopeless fools::

Glad we cleared that up.

3

Oh, so you were serious? :eek:

Does your aluminum helmet get cable?

4

If it makes you feel any better Taggert, I never thought you were. There were many other epithets that came to mind each time I stumbled across your opinion, but that’s another story.

In my opinion you should have stuck with the ‘suspected parodist’ label, it might have gotten you banned eventually - but it brought you a lot more cred and saved amongst others me the trouble of countering your gibberish with serious retorts.

Oh well. I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other now.

Pity, it was peaceful as it was with most people ignoring you.

5

I think we all assumed you were joking because your stated opinions, if serious, are those of a complete fucking lunatic. I guess we were giving you the benefit of the doubt.

If you wish to claim that you are, in fact, an idiot, so be it.

6

I think lines like this fool people. You’ve got some Dave Barry in you. Er, you know what I mean.

7

I can’t help but think that taggert is somehow confusing this missing God umbrella with the hole in the ozone layer.

8

This guy is giving me a headache. His posts are so funny “sexier than Margaritte Thatcher” and so stereotypical right wing, almost fascist even (just obey! don’t question!), that he must be kidding. But he never breaks character and insists that he is serious. So, is it a character, or does this guy truly hold views that make Rush Limbaugh look like Michael Moore? My headache is from trying to figure this guy out. Either way he’s tough to take seriously.

And as far as the founding fathers not having extra-marital affairs, Sally Hemmings anyone?

9

It’s raining shits and giggles over here.

10

Taggert, it’s unfair that you have such an able commentator as Ann Coulter in your corner. Everyone knows that all minorities and women are liberal – this was why Clarence Thomas was rightfully put onto the Supreme Court, we all know he is secretly liberal, since he is black, and clearly is awaiting the best opportunity to help out the liberal cause. By the same token, clearly Ann is liberal, and perhaps insane, which would account for the occassional head-fake when she delivers her screeds in the form of questions.

It’s hard to believe you are a true conservative, since you don’t advocate the oppression of blacks, women or poor people, and that makes me doubt your veracity. But it is clear from your God’s umbrella missile shield metaphor, that you truly understand God’s covenant. Our trial lawyers are working on amending that covenant as we speak – necessary if we’re ever going to be able to rehabilitate communism.

Of course, as a liberal, I’m unable to believe in God. Rather, I think conservatives use God as an excuse to take away my medical marijuana, and I do so have a medical issue, besides, it’s none of your business.

You conservatives should really try some. I’m sure your president would be less uptight and insanely physically fit if he were to try some Columbia’s Gold, and the available interns. Also, he’d have someone in the room if he were to pass out from ingesting terrorist pretzels again.

As you well know, we will not stop till 2004 when the ticket of the better Clinton half and the author of “Stupid White Men,” will clean out all the CEO’s who run your country like a business, into the ground and run for the Bahamas.

Hugs for all living creatures,
Ace

11

If he’s joking, it’s fucking annoying.

If he’s serious, he’s a fucking loon.

Either way, ugh.

12

Sally Hemmings was a slave of Thomas Jefferson, the founder of what is now known as the Democratic Party. It is the exception that proves the rule.

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“Wolf!” taggert cried. “Wolf!” But while some of the townspeople briefly wondered whether his cry was in earnest this time, they all decided that they no longer cared.

14

He’s a loon. alrighty. But I doubt he’s “fucking”.

I can’t imagine anybody of either gender who’d want to.

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You do realize that allowing divergent ideas is the only thing protecting you here, right? If you want to give up this idea, let us know.

[sub]I’ve got feathers around here somewhere, if somebody else will bring the tar.[/sub]

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Oh, and btw

BWAHAHAHAHAH!!! You’ve got to be shitting me!
Bolding mine.

17

I don’t care what you guys say, taggert is brilliant.

18

Seriously, you have a career in satire if you can just get past the fact that you may think you are serious.

Didn’t you post something on child labor (pro)? I was positive that was satire.

19

Conservatives are not racists and sexists, and that is a prejudice that liberals have against conservatives. Clarance Thomas, Thomas Sowell, Condi Rice and Colin Powell are all pals of George W. See, he isn’t racist or sexist. Fer cryin’ out loud, Karen Hughes, a woman, was his closest adviser. J.C. Watt is a conservative. We are not a bunch of backward closet racists, just look at the faces at the 2000 convention.

As for medical marijuana, I think it was someone on this board who said that conservatives who get high are really libertarians.

Just say no to drugs. Now that’s moral clarity. A man relaxing alone on a weekend watching a ball game does not need to get high, just some sodas and pretzels are all that are needed for a good time.

20

Dude, you’ve got to be joking.

I really honestly agree with some of the stuff you say about the economy, but it seems that you are saying that we should all agree on everything which is basically totalitariansim.

Or am I completely misinterpreting the OP?