I currently work in a large retail store in the “health, beauty, and cosmetics” department, which means part of my small domain is over-the-counter drugs, vitamins, and food supplements.
I am limited to basically helping people find what they’re already looking for on the shelf.
I can not make recommendations as to which item to buy. First of all, I’m not you, I don’t know what you need/like/whatever. Second, you can make your own decisions. Third, liability. If I recommend something and you have a bad reaction to it, or your kid does, you can sue us and we don’t want that (that actually has happened to my employer). In other words, I am not your doctor or pharmacist, I am in not way capable of diagnosing what ails you or recommending what you should buy.
Yet on a daily basis someone will ask me “which of these should I buy?” or “what do you recommend for X?” To the latter, I have two stock replies, depending on the question. either “ask the pharmacist” or “ask your doctor”.
Look, if you tell me you have foot fungus I can direct you to the foot fungus medications. Please do not take off your shoes and socks, show me your gnarly toes, and ask me “is this foot fungus?” How the hell should I know? Unless you have actual mushrooms or slime mold between your toes I have no way to know what the problem is. Thank god no one has asked me to diagnose jock itch or vaginal discharge (yet).
Do not attempt to flatter me with “since you work here you must know a lot about medical things”. No, I don’t. This job could be done by a high school drop-out who can manage to get their ass to work on time on a regular basis and has minimal reading skills. Being slightly better educated than that helps, I mean, it’s more confidence inspiring when I can correctly pronounce the names of various items without laboriously sounding out the letters. There are no medical knowledge requirements for this job. I need to be able to lift up to 40 pounds repeated during a shift and stay on my feet for 8 hours without collapsing. That’s about it. Oh, and be on time to work. And be nice to the customers, even if they’re idiots or evil or both. The last bit is probably the hardest part of the job.
Do not ask me to pick out a hair dye for you. Especially after a five minute rant on what an idiot your hair stylist was for choosing your current color. Such a question is even more frightening if you know that I’m colorblind, not that I usually share that.
The other annoying this is when I’m talking to a customer and another customer comes up and starts going on about how evil our vitamins/supplements are, they’re made out of GMO’s and chemicals and whatever, and tells the person to go to a particular “health food store” (ever notice how “health food stores” usually contain little to no actual food, just pills and powders?) because our selections are “poison”. Seriously, who goes up to random strangers and starts prescribing a regimen of supplements? Generally middle-aged to elderly white ladies who call everyone “honey” and “dear” based on an admittedly non-scientific random sampling.
Also fun are the gentlemen who want me to select a condom for them. :rolleyes: There was also the guy who kept asking if we had any “really big” condoms, because, you know, he had fitting problems. I resisted the urge to send him to the aisle with the contractor-grade garbage bags.
Please do not go into details about the problems of incontinent relatives. I will gladly take you to the aisle with appropriate products but do not need a blow-by-blow of any bodily waste accidents.
It is absolutely hilarious when I’m asked to locate something and say “I’m sorry, we do not carry Badger Hair and Shredded Wheat All Natural Bulk Forming Fiber Supplement and Stool Softener brand, but we do have other items in our digestive health section” and they go running to the pharmacist… who then turns and asks me if we carry it and if so where it might be? Look, the pharmacists spend all day in their little fiefdom behind the counter. They dispense medications, warn you of possible interactions, and have some limited ability to recommend things. A couple are authorized to give vaccinations. That’s it. I’m the one who actually stocks the shelves (well, one of those folks, we have several doing the job in this 24/7 store). I’m the one who has some idea of where stuff is on the shelf. Want to know if grapefruit juice interacts badly with your doctor-prescribed medication? Ask the pharmacist. Want to know where the nasal spray or enemas are? Ask me.
And finally - Ms. Busy-body - please stop telling me not to lift things or get down on the floor to get that one item way in the back of the bottom shelf. These things are part of my job. I am fully capable of doing my job. Lifting more than two shampoo bottles at once will not “damage” my “female parts” (seriously, she’s always going on about how lifting “heavy” objects will damage my female parts) because I do not utilize my uterus, Fallopian tubes, vagina, or clitoris to lift anything (except perhaps the spirit of my spouse and myself, but that’s none of your business). Sitting on a concrete and tile floor for 2.3 seconds (rather than kneeling on my bad knees) is not going to give me bleeding hemorrhoids. Also, no one gives a damn but you that us female staff are wearing “men’s” shirts - you really go around noting which side of someone’s shirt the buttons are on?
