Where the fuck did these assholes learn to – eh, they never learned. Fucking lobotomized cretins.
I’m not slamming all cab drivers here. I’ll readily admit that most are smart, informed, kind, and competant. And I’ll tip accordingly. I salute the average cab driver.
But it’s that small percentage of boneheaded idiotic dunderfuckingheads that make life so miserable. And in the past two weeks, I’ve gotten every blasted one of them. The ones who don’t know where they are going. The ones that automatically seek out the worst possible routes, so they can run the meter up while standing still. The ones that refuse to go where you tell them. The ones that get lost.
Then there was the total fucking genius this morning. I called for a cab with more than enough time to get me to work. So I go downstairs and wait. And wait.
And…
Wait.
Finally I see a cab creep up the opposite side of the street. Slooooowly. And the driver is carefully examining every street address. Every single one. Occasionally he parked, got out, went into an apartment building, then emerged a minute later, only to start the whole process again. Eventually he just parked and sat there, too far away for me to run after him or shout to him. I tried to summon my powers of telepathy to call him over, but to no avail. Finally he turned around, and came down my side of the street, slowly. Thank Og, now I could wave him down. Well, I could, had he been looking anywhere but the wrong side of the street. He drove right by.
Five minutes later, I see he had turned around again, and was once again examining addresses on the wrong side of the street. Veeeerrrryyy sloooooowwwwwly.
Three times he went around like that. On the third time, I finally went over to him as close as I could (not easy on that street) and waved and shouted. Of course he didn’t see or hear me, being preoccupied with an address not resembling mine in the least. Fortunately, a construction worker at that address spoke to him. I have no idea what he said, but it was probably something like “Hey chucklehead, your fare is over there and has been waving to you for the past half hour, you moronic fucking asswipe.”
When shitforbrains finally picked me up, he had the excuse that the dispatcher told him the wrong address. Sorry, wrong. The dispatcher knows me by voice. She knows where I live. Half the time she tells me where I live. So don’t go blaming others for your own dunderheadedness.
So anyway, I got in the cab. That was my second mistake of the day.
