Happy Birthday to John “I-guess-I-have-no-one-that-really cared-enough-to-remember-my-birthday-so-I-guess-I’ll-have-to-call-attention-to-it-myself” Corrado
P.S. If you were a cute female, I probably would have researched your birthday and would have opened this thread for you. One I opened about a month ago is still floating around the first page or two of MPSIMS (although I have no idea why)
She whispers quietly to herself (again)–“I’m a cute female…why didn’t he research my birthday and open a thread for me today?”
Because you haven’t flirted with me.
Or voted for me on the SDMB laminated list. Or…well, I don’t know. (Digging feverishly for excuses)
Re cuteness: I’m tempted to ask for the ocular proof, but instead I’ll ask–which birthday is it? Are ya legal? I need to know this before we get into the spanking ritual–they did tell you about the spanking ritual didn’t they? It’s a requirement when I open up a birthday thread.
TroubleAgain, Happy Birthday! But you need to let us know before 1141 PST when you live on the east coast. (Or is your birthday today on the 28th?)
DRY–I did mention my birthday a few days ago in a round-about way (Bratman007’s post about his niece being due on 6/27–my birthday) but I didn’t really expect anyone to remember. Just kinda kidding around here. And yes, I’m legal, have been for a while (34 today). Haven’t chosen my laminated list–still trying to decide. You might just make it… 
Oh, yeah, and I definitely want my spanking.
John, you are such a :wally
It’s funny, while I was looking through some other posts, I ran across this (geez–in order to get my attention, you’ve got to post something that’s a bit more attention getting than someone else’s kid being born–you’ve got to talk about sex or nudity–or at least history, sports, or Shakespeare).
I also found out that you’re married!! :eek:
Whaddya think I am? A homewrecker?? I’m appalled–I believe in the sanctity of marriage!
Unless…
a) if you’re cute enough (but I’ll require the ocular proof this time)
b) if I’m big and strong enough to beat the crap out of your husband (don’t hold your breath, I’m 130 lbs and women physically abuse me).
Happy 34th birthday, yesterday 
I’m 34 myself, single, destitute and a pitiful wretch. So have I engendered enough pity on your part to spank you?
DRY, honey, you can spank me. My hubby need never know-- 
--He believes in Birthday Spankings anyway, offered me one tonight!
(I’m a very faithful wife, very much in love with my hubby, but, damn, I do like to flirt…)
So anyway, what’s so pitiful about being single at 34 for a man? You’ve just now reached marriagable age, as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t marry mine until he was 34. I’d never consider anyone younger to be grown-up enough, unless he just impressed the heck out of me with his maturity. I bet you find someone special soon… 
(assuming you want to…)
Think you can sneak out to So. Cal?
TroubleAgain, you’re aptly named. This would be the second time:
–I’ve flirted with a lady
–who’s married
–in the Pit
–hijacking someone’s thread
You are far too kind. But there’s a difference between being of marriagable, and wanted. I mean, I quote Shakespeare (kind of my M.O. or signature quirk) and still can’t find someone. When questioned closely as to why they didn’t think I’d have a chance, they just muttered something about “ugly tree” and “hitting every branch on the way down”
You have any idea what that means?
Anyway, you’re really very sweet. Come over here:
“Let me take you a button-hole lower”
–Love’s Labor Lost, Act V, scene ii
Happy birthday. Bite me.
DRY, you’ve just made my laminated list.
Christ, DRY, can’t you be in any thread without flirting all over it?
Anyways. Thanks, all, for wishing me the felchingist happiest birthday ever. (And a Happy non-felching Birthday to you, TroubleAgain.)
And Ike- I fully expect to look 80 by the time I hit 40. Hell, there’s only so much further that the bald spot can expand, and the grey hairs are starting to stack up.
I’m bored. Here’s a quarter, bunny. Get a life.
But I like it.
(Dirge beat: not very snappy but I can’t groan to it)
Happy birthday-UH!
Happy birthday -UH!
May the candles on your cake burn like cities in your wake!
Happy Birthday-UH! Happy birthday UH!
I can’t EVEN call you a filthy name, I don’t think I can beat the dick head felchey thingees that have already posted.
:wally
Sure. But there’s something about PIT threads…
Best birthday wishes again to John Corrado and my new sweetheart, TroubleAgain (kiss, kiss)!
Fuck you, John. I hope your birthday sucked.
Then gargled.
Then swallowed.
How did you get your head out of your ass long enough to blow out your candles? Knowing you, you shoved a “special” candle up there, then performed the Toilet Geraldo Flaming Felching Blow Out Maneuver™. I’m sure there was plenty of room in your colon. You’ve been sodomized by blue whales, elephants, and dildo-wielding girl scouts for so long that your asshole stretches wider than a snakes’ unhinged jaw. Which is something else I’m sure you’re intimatly familiar with, freak.
(*Hope it was a good one, and I wish you many more.
Ya crackwhore.*)
I believe we have a winner for the “Band Names” thread in IMHO
For some reason, I felt like bumping this old thread back to the top. Not quite sure why.
Yer pathetic. And old.
sniff Ah, the warm embrace of my peers. Thanks, Unc!