Last night of the cruise, having a drink and saying my goodbyes to the people that enabled my drunkenness for the last 2 weeks and came across a guy who greets me with, “I fuckin’ hate you! You always beat me at everything!”
Lots of trivia games and ring-toss and shit on board to occupy the masses. I did them all, being that kind of guy. So did he, apparently.
Well, as established by fact, I was a consistant second place in nearly everything )meaning, LOSER!), but this guy was pissed at ME!
So, I did something awful:
[spoiler] I saw he had the “unlimited drinks” sticker on his cruise card. I convinced him that if he bought me a drink, he would be the winner, having the upper hand in the booze department! 
He did. We’re pals now.
[/spoiler]