You know, I’d be a pretty tactful guy if my mouth didn’t keep fucking it up.
I’ve known Cheryl for maybe 17 years now. We’ve had sort of an on-again off-again relationship during that time. I sometimes go for years without seeing her, then we’re like best friends again, like we never lost touch. I’ve seen guys come and go in her life. I was there when she married, then when she divorced, and there when she remarried.
We fell out of touch during her first pregnancy. I didn’t see her again until last February, when I met her 2 children for the first time. And it was pretty obvious that a 3rd was on the way.
I haven’t seen her since maybe April. I figured she’s getting close to her due date. So tonight I spoke to her on the phone. While we were talking about kids, I asked her when her due date was. She asked me what I was talking about.
Uh oh.
I timidly asked again, realizing I was a dead man. She stated, somewhat miffed, that she wasn’t having any more children. I sputtered and fumbled. I’m not sure, but I think I said that I blamed my mistake on the Bush administration. Or something like that.
That’s twice in my life now I’ve inadvertantly called a woman fat.
Many years ago, I knew a gal who was in fact pregnant, but I didn’t know her due date. We ran into each other occassionally, but we weren’t exactly close.
One day I was shopping at the Fred Meyer store, and I happened to run into her. So, we stop to chit-chat, and I stupidly asked her when her due date was. She looked rather miffed and coldly told me she had delivered TWO months ago.
I wanted to sink under the floor tile. God, I felt dumb. I fumbled and mumbled and apologized, but well, it was very awkward.
By the way, I am a woman, so it’s not just a mistake men make.
Been there myself.
While showing my for sale house to a man I casually mentioned that he and his wife would probably like the spare room for the nursery.
The wife was actually his daughter.
She was 13
She wasn’t pregnant
To this day I just have to wonder how a somewhat slender 13 year old girl got a beer gut like that.
Well, I’m a woman and I once almost asked a “pregnant” woman when the baby was due, only to have it hit me that she must have already delivered. I covered up for it but I’ll never really know if she believed me or not.
I’ve also had a couple of people congratulate me on my pregnancy in the past few years, and I’m not pregnant. But I have put on a lot of weight, and it’s really not their fault, so I’m honestly not angry with them. Hopefully Cheryl will get over it too.
Don’t feel too bad tdn. I have stretch marks on my belly from yo yo dieting in my teens, and people spmetimes ask me how far along I am and when i’m due. I honestly don’t get mad, because it’s true. In some tops I do look pregnant.
And anyway, pregnant women are the most beautiful in the world. I’m not offended at all to be confused with these godesses!
i usually wear skirts to work, a few days ago in a rush to find a clean skirt i caved in and wore pants to work for the first time ever. mistake. a co-worker asked me very loudly infront of clients if i was pregnant. my asnwer was of course “no, these pants just make me look incredibly fat, thanks for noticing”
normally i wouldnt be that sarcastic. but said co worker is well aware im not having kids, that my partner is snipped and that im serile.
I probably shouldn’t. Cheryl and family recently moved, and a mutual friend helped, because the husband “has a bad back, and Cheryl – well, she shouldn’t be lifting in her condition.”
So I’m not the only one who thought that.
She was quite svelte and sexy before she started pumping out puppies. (She’s still sexy, just not svelte.)
I think it was Dave Barry who once said not to ever assume a woman was pregnant unless you actually saw a baby coming out of her at the time. That’s the standard I go by. Muuuuch safer.
My husband and I went to a local airshow. He wanted me to take a ride in a doorless helicopter (what the fuck was I thinking?) and the guy told him that his daughter could ride for half-price. Poor guy! I laughed and waved as we took off. Joke was on me. It was pretty unnerving to ride with no fucking door!
You should have blamed it on the mutual friend, saying you thought he or she told you Cheryl was preggers. But then add that “perhaps you’re misremembered” or confabulated two different people.
Why ARE all the women on TWC pregnant, anyway? Weird.
A few years ago when I was even chubbier about the middle than I currently am, I was leaning against a counter in a restaurant waiting for a friend to pay, and a man nearby asked me when my baby was due. The expression on his face when I told him that I wasn’t pregnant, just fat, was well worth the embarrassment of realizing just how fat I WAS.