I am the guy who put mouthwash into his eyes today...four times

For the record:

The most painful thing I’ve had in my eye: cheese dust from jalapeno cheddar potato chips. NO idea how that got in there, but it stung like hellfire.

The most eye-reddening thing I’ve dealt with: Erm…semen. I didn’t even get that much in my eye (didn’t feel any, anyway), but it was the brightest freaking shade of red I’d ever seen in my life. Thankfully it only lasted like an hour.

Yeah, I really dropped a deuce on that jacuzzi thing. Looking back, I should have demanded much, much more from the hotel. But really, I wasn’t thinking all that straight at the time. The shock and trauma associated with bathing in shit seriously affected my ability to negotiate for anything of substance.

Hey, you’re the diarrhea in the jacuzzi guy! :smiley:

Oh yeah, the japoozzi dood. I remember you.

Cue Anderson Cooper giggle

At least he’s not the sheep guy.

Sting Eye for the Jacuzzi Guy!

-or-

Jacuzzi Guy with no more Stink Eye!

I think we have the beginning of a new SDMB meme here…

Funny! Takes me back to those pre-laser-surgery days of yore…

(though yesterday I did just notice the first hints of creeping presbyopia…crap!)

The dumbest thing I ever did was to put a contact lens into an eye that already had one on, and to wonder for an hour why everything was so damned blurry!

I see you know me.

I’m also now the guy with the minty-fresh eyeballs. My eyelids, two days later, still have a warmth to them.