My roommates apparantly hate me. Tonight, my roommate Paul says, “All of us roommates have some issues we need to discuss, so one of these nights we’re having a meeting.” I hear from a friend (who has talked with my roommates) to expect an ambush.
Here’s what I’m up against.
Roommate #1: Kim
Major beef with me: Didn’t leave a note for her to check the message machine. She missed an important call.
Defense: There was already a note on her door from another roommate telling her she had a message on the machine. I didn’t see any reason to waste paper and leave another note. (Turns out that note was old and she’d already listened to that other message, but didn’t delete it, which was one reason I thought she hadn’t checked the machine for that message yet.) Also, she’s already said that she knows it’s an honest mistake and that she forgives me. Still, I don’t know if she’ll take that back for a chance to sink her claws into me. Especially since she’s very protective of April, and almost always takes her side.
Roommate #2: Paul
Major beef with me: I never run the dishwasher to clean the dishes.
Defense: I barely make any dirty dishes (not compared to Paul and April, the last roommate). I also regularly clean up messes on the stove and counters left by Paul and April. In fact, I clean these up more often than they do. Moreover, I’ve already told him that I’d be happy to wash dishes by hand but that the dishwasher just doesn’t get them clean. (I often find myself washing individual dishes by hand, after I take them from the cupboard, because they are still dirty.) He wants me to use the dishwasher.
I know this is a somewhat weak defense against this particular beef with me (which is, amongst them all, the strongest IMHO), but I also help Paul with his Java homework. No, let me correct myself. I do Paul’s Java homework for him. Without me, his grade would be at least a letter lower. I’ve never asked for anything in return for this, but I think I should be granted a little leeway if I don’t wash dishes in the way he wants me to, and instead decide to clean up the messes he and April leave in the kitchen.
Roommate #3: April (note: Paul and April are engaged - which means even if Kim doesn’t participate in the attack, I’ll still have to deal with a unified tag-team; she also is verbally and physically abusive towards Paul, which is one reason I can’t stand her most of the time)
Major beef with me: I had the gall to ask her to neaten up her stuff. I entered her room without permission.
Defense: Ok, this is the interesting one. Here’s the senario: My gf is comming over to watch videos later. The living room is a complete mess, as usual. April always leaves her books and papers and just general stuff in the living room (and hallway) because she’s both a messy person and a person with too much stuff.
So, I go up to her and say the following: “Can you do me a favor? Can you neaten up some of your stuff in the living room?”
April: “What, right now?”
Me: “Well, no, not this second …”
April: “Well, I’m leaving in two minutes.”
Me: “Ok. Well, could you maybe point out what, of that stuff laying around in the living room, is yours, so that I could transfer some of it to your room or something?”
This is where rational reality breaks in half and starts to bleed.
April pushes past me, goes into the living room, and starts picking stuff up and transfering it to her room rapidly. At first I think she’s just in a hurry. But no. She takes her fishbowl from the small table in the corner. She takes the lamp. She takes the large piles of her crap (which is all I wanted or requested her to move in the first place!), and she takes the fucking remote controls for the TV, DVD player, etc. (These are actually Paul’s, but she considers Paul’s stuff to be her stuff.) And some chairs. And some other stuff.
At this point I know she’s tweaking and decide to stay out of her way, so I start sweeping. She comes up to me and says, “Are you sure you want to use that broom? It’s mine too.”
Um, right. Asking you politely to clean up your ridiculous mess is exactly the same as saying I don’t want to ever touch one of your possessions! Of course!
Ok, at least the living room is clean for the first time in forever, if a little bit barren. (I take the opportunity to vacuum.) So April leaves for whatever it is that she just made herself late for, and my girlfriend arrives with some movies. I look for the remote for the DVD player and can’t find it - then I remember. I open April’s door a crack and see it right inside. I walk in, take it and the other remotes that she took, and take them back to the living room where they belong and where they can be put to use.
So now apparantly Paul and April (and possibly Kim) are planning a meeting (read: bitch session at BlackKnight).
I’m not perfect, nor do I expect my roommates to be. But, seriously, arranging a united bitch fest instead of comming to me personally one-on-one to address problems? I just don’t see the point. All it will lead to is a big fucking mess where everybody hates everybody.
I’m tempted to recall every tiny little thing they ever did to piss me off, just so it won’t be so one-sided, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. sigh
